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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22474708">Agent K</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lynn1998/pseuds/Lynn1998'>Lynn1998</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Doctor // Agent [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), Alternate Universe - Spies &amp; Secret Agents, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, But only a little, Eddie Kaspbrak is a Mess, Emetophobia, Fluff and Angst, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Torture, Internalized Homophobia, Isolation, M/M, Rating May Change, Richie Tozier Flirts, Richie Tozier is a Little Shit, Richie gets beaten up, Russian Medic Eddie Kaspbrak, Special Agent Richie Tozier, Spies &amp; Secret Agents, This is not based in reality, This kinda rips off stranger things season three, a little smut maybe more, i just think Russian sounds cute and I wanted Eddie speaking Russian, like a lot of it, no beta we die like men, no one dies, richie tozier gets kidnapped, the first half mainly focuses on Richie being interrogated, they are all agents except for Eddie, v much America vs commies attitude oof, very fictional pls don’t come at me w politics</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 10:56:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>44,188</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22474708</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lynn1998/pseuds/Lynn1998</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>(Read tags for more details) The details of Agent Richie Tozier being captured, interrogated, and the aftermath of his escape. As well as the details of Doctor Eddie Kaspbrak falling in love with a prisoner in the underground Russian base He’s forced to work in.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough/Mike Hanlon/Stanley Uris, Bill Denbrough/Stanley Uris, Eddie Kaspbrak &amp; Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Doctor // Agent [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1652683</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>136</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>311</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. 001</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I’m trying out writing shorter chapters so I can post more often. Thoughts?</p><p>Anything that’s underlined is being spoken in Russian. Anything italicized is be emphasized.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>“Stanley…” Richie hummed quietly as he tapped the ashes off his cigarette.</p><p>“Richie, I swear to god—“</p><p>“They said eight, Stan. When they say eight they mean <em>eight</em>,” Richie interrupted stiffly before downing the rest of his wine. He glanced over the balcony to look at the city he’s looked at hundreds of time. Why they kept sending him back to paris was beyond him. They knew he spoke at least three other languages.</p><p>“It’s probably traffic,” Stan said. Richie sighed. He loved Stan, but he definitely did not have the same field experience as Richie.</p><p>“I’m telling you there’s something up,” he murmured lowly so the waiter didn’t hear him as they poured him more wine.</p><p>“Richie, this deal is in the bag. There’s nothing sketchy about the restaurant, and it’s only eight oh nine,” Stan assured him.</p><p>“Eight ten,” Richie corrected looking at his watch. He made a mental note of the weapons he had on him while Stanley sighed.</p><p>“Richie—“</p><p>“They’re here.”</p><p>     He knew him the moment he stepped into the restaurant. The briefcase cliched tightly in his hand was silver and sleek, and it was supposedly filled with something so valuable Richie wasn’t allowed to know what it was. Yellowed and aged eyes found Richie on the balcony, and he put out his cigarette before lighting a new one. Another, much younger, man followed him to the balcony, and Richie let out the first puff of smoke from his fresh cig. The older man sat down while the younger man closed the doors and locked it.</p><p>“<span class="u">Good evening, friend</span>,” the older man greeted in Russian. Richie was expecting that despite being balls deep in Paris. There was a rumored underground Russian unit bleeding through the city, both metaphorical and literal. Richie smiled and offered a cigarette.</p><p>“<span class="u">A good evening for a walk, comrade</span>,” Richie replied. It was a password. If he had responded with anything else his head would have been higher than the Eiffel Tower. The man smiled and accepted the cigarette.</p><p>“<span class="u">We’ve been in contact with your boss. I hope these are to your liking</span>,” the man said. Richie held up his lighter and lit the cigarette before nodding.</p><p>“<span class="u">Me too. May I?</span>“ he asked reaching slowly for the briefcase on the table. The man nodded and took a drag as Richie flicked open the tab on top and inserted a chip.</p><p>“Perfect. What I tell you?” Stan said. Richie could hear the smile in his voice, but he still didn’t feel good about it.</p><p>“<span class="u">I apologize for our tardiness. The streets are crazy this time of year,</span>“ the older man said. </p><p>     Richie froze when he suddenly realized he was in a trap. Tardiness wasn’t a thing in this type of transaction. Apologies were never issued. Agents definitely never engaged in small talk like that. If they did it was to get more information out of each other. It was a tactic only newer agents still tried to use. This man was too old to think that it could possibly still work. The sad part was that Richie knew the minute he received the invitation that it was a trap, but Bill insisted that, with Stanley on board with him, and Mike and Bev inside the restaurant, he’ll be fine.</p><p>     Except Richie wasn’t in the restaurant. He was on the balcony as instructed. Mike and Bev were no where to be seen, and Stanley was still looking through the case. Richie could predict exactly what was inside, and he took a sip of his wine as he waited for Stan to come to the same conclusion.</p><p>“<span class="u">No problem. Gave me more time to drink,</span>“ he said nonchalantly with a smirk.</p><p>“<span class="u">Ah, do you like it? We picked it especially for you</span>,” the man said. Richie felt his stomach drop. That’s right, he didn’t order a specific wine, did he? He looked down to where his fingers touched the glass and then nodded.</p><p>“<span class="u">Delicious</span>,” he said. The younger man walked over to the waiters table at the end of the balcony and pulled out a small case from his breast pocket. Richie watched him as he felt his fingertips go numb, and then looked back to the older man who looked more than pleased.</p><p>“<span class="u">I’m surprised the famous, uh</span>…super-star <span class="u">agent Tozier fell so willingly into our lap</span>.“ Richie smiled.</p><p>“<span class="u">I wouldn’t say that…I’d say</span>…walked,” he replied. His accent was slipping, and it was harder to keep his eyes open.</p><p>“Richie, this case is a dud. You need to get out of there,” Stan said.</p><p>“I already knew that, Stan,” Richie sighed and closed his eyes briefly. There was knocking and pounding on the door, and he could hear Mike and Beverly from the other side.</p><p>“<span class="u">I’m guessing your friends have caught on</span>,“ the older man hummed. Richie smiled and nodded.</p><p>“<span class="u">Much too late, I see. Hopefully you haven’t killed me yet. This wine has really knocked my socks off</span>.“ The Russians laughed together, and Richie noted the other man preparing a syringe.</p><p>“<span class="u">You are very funny. No, no. We will keep you alive for now. The wine was just supposed to numb you for the injection</span>,“ he assured him. Richie nodded.</p><p>“Rich! Get out of there!” Stanley yelled, but Richie ignored him. He knew this would happen, and if he tried to escape at all he’d either fall to his death or get stabbed with a needle filled with horse tranquilizer.</p><p>“Of course! <span class="u">I hope you don’t plan to interrogate me. I’m afraid the only thing I’m capable of talking about is absolute trash</span>,“ Richie warned.</p><p>“<span class="u">Ah, a</span> Trashmouth, <span class="u">if you will? I’ll keep my subordinates informed</span>.“ Richie chuckled.</p><p>“<span class="u">So you’ve heard my nickname. What else do you know about me?</span>“ The man smiled, and Richie felt a hand on his shoulder. His body tensed up as the younger man shoved a needle into his neck, and was emptied into his bloodstream.</p><p>“<span class="u">Enough</span>.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>     Needless to say, Stanley felt dumb. He knew it was a risky mission, but Richie had been on the field for so long it made sense that he was paranoid. He should’ve listened to him, but ultimately it was their boss, Bill, who had control. Perhaps it was wishful thinking that everything would play out perfectly. The Russians would just hand over the information that Richie spent <em>months</em> stationed in Paris to try and get, and they would be able to end the mission and get away scot-free.</p><p>     Ultimately, Stanley should’ve known that reality would never let that happen, and now his best friend is being held god knows where under Paris. His tracking device was disabled twenty miles south of the restaurant, and that was concerning because his tracking was implanted in his arm. Either they had a very skilled surgeon to remove it, or they ripped it out of him. Stan couldn’t decide which was worse. Bev and Mike had tried to get to him before that, but it turned out the entire restaurant was owned by that organization, and had efficiently kept them busy while they got away with Richie.</p><p>“God, I feel so fucking stupid,” Stan groaned as he stared uselessly at his monitors. He should’ve been trying to hack into the system like he had been all summer, but he couldn’t help but freeze as he had to sit with the fact that Richie was kidnapped.</p><p>“R-Richie knew what he was d-doing,” Bill said quietly over his shoulder. Stan blinked at him with wet eyes, tears threatening to fall as he frowned. He a already wasn’t happy with Bill, but as he started connecting the dots he found another reason to be upset with him.</p><p>“Did you…approve of this knowing he’d get captured?” Stan asked. Bill pulled out a handkerchief from his jacket and handed it to Stan.</p><p>“I knew th-that if it was a bust, R-Richie would be the best m-man to get captured. We’ll f-find him,” Bill assured him. Stan glared at him and didn’t move to accept the gesture.</p><p>“That was extremely dangerous. You just got our best field agent captured!” He said raising his voice.</p><p>“It was n-necessary—“</p><p>“No it wasn’t, Bill!“ Stan shouted. Bill bit his lip and turned to run his fingers through his hair. “Richie knew it was a set up from the start!”</p><p>“I k-k-<em>know</em> he did, okay Stan! I worked with him for f-four years,” Bill snapped. Stan shook his head disapprovingly.</p><p>“Mike and Beverly are scouring the city for him right now. Are you going to tell them this was your plan all along, or should I?” Stan asked. Bill shook his head.</p><p>“N-no…I’ll tell them. Get in contact with an agent named Ben in the meantime. Bev will know how to contact him. I need him on this job,” he instructed. Stan sighed before nodding.</p><p>“I’m on it…sir,” he said. It stung Bill to hear Stan refer to him that way. It meant he was mad.</p><p>“…I’m sorry…”</p><p>“Don’t apologize to me. Apologize to Richie. If he even makes it out alive.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. 002</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Enter doctor Kaspbrak</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I’m posting again so soon bc the chapters are short and I feel weird having only 1500 words posted of this story lmao</p>
<p>Everything that is underlined is being spoken in Russian</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>     The room was cold. It was much colder than Richie remembered being. He could distinctly feel goosebumps on his arm under his shirt, but he was missing the jacket he wore over it. Sweat dripped from his brow, and when he finally got around to opening his eyes the room felt and looked like it was spinning. He was sitting in what looked like a glorified cell. There was a toilet in the corner, a bed he was laying on, and a bright LED light from the ceiling. He groaned at how bright it was, and brought a hand up to block it only for the other to follow. Great, he was hand cuffed. Thank god his hands were cuffed in the front instead of the back. He hated it when they did it from the back.</p>
<p>“Ay-oh, that’s what she said,” he muttered to himself as he rubbed the sleep away.</p>
<p>     It didn’t take long after he woke up for the doors to burst open. Richie braced himself for the worst, but was surprised to see only one man walk in. He pushed in a cart with medical supplies on it and gestured for Richie to sit up. Richie did so, and then properly took in the other man as he started to do a typical check up.</p>
<p>     This man was beautiful. From what Richie could see through the uniform, he was physically fit, and his face was like a godsend. Wavy brown hair cropped short at the sides and getting longer and wispy at the top. Big beautiful brown round eyes that examined Richie’s numbers with ease, and freckles that popped up all across his cheeks and his neck. Everything else was covered by his uniform, but he could clearly see that this man wasn’t just small but also compact and strong. He felt it in his grip whenever he directed Richie to sit a certain way, and if he hadn’t just woken up from being drugged he’d definitely be hitting on him.</p>
<p>“Good morning, Agent Tozier,” a man spoke as he walked in with a cheery smile. His sandy blond hair and dazzling smile made Richie feel comfortable, but he hissed when he felt a stinging sensation on his forearm where his tracker was. He looked down at the cute doctor cleaning a gash with stitches, and realized that that was where his tracker <em>used </em>to be.</p>
<p>“Ah…morning, doc,” Richie replied. Thankful for English to be the established language between them.</p>
<p>“How are you today?” He asked. Richie raised a brow and then looked to his handcuffs. He then looked back to the smiling doctor.</p>
<p>“Oh, y’know…I’ve had better mornings,” he replied. The doctor chuckled.</p>
<p>“Of course. I’m Doctor Winters. This is my assistant, Doctor Kaspbrak. We’re basically here to make sure you don’t get tortured to death,” Doctor Winters told him with that same cheery smile. It seemed inappropriate considering what he was saying.</p>
<p>“Gee, thanks, Ice-man,” Richie replied trying to reorient himself better.</p>
<p>“Winters,” the man tending his wound spoke in a very thick Russian accent. Richie blinked down at him to see Doctor Kaspbrak glared back.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, wha-<em>Agh!</em> Shit!” Richie cursed as the doctor forcefully held the alcohol soaked pad to his cut.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Doctor Kaspbrak, stop. There is no need for that</span>,” Winters spoke in Russian, and the other doctor stopped immediately. Richie sighed and shook his head.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">What the fuck?</span>“ he muttered, speaking in Russian as well.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">He is </span>Doctor Winters. <span class="u">Not</span> Ice-man. <span class="u">Respect him</span>,” Kaspbrak spat before redressing the wound and preparing his cart to leave. Richie blinked at him and then the other Doctor who’s smile appeared less cheery.</p>
<p>“We’ll be back to check on you later. Get some more sleep if you can,” he suggested before following Kaspbrak out. Richie nodded, and then slowly laid back down before taking his advice.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>“We found the broken device,” Beverly reported to Stan. She held the bloodied pill shaped tracker from the ground, and pointed her flashlight around the field they were in.</p>
<p>“They probably took it here and broke it to throw us off,” Mike said as he looked around. They were just on the outskirts of Paris. There was no easy way to get underground for at least ten miles towards Paris.</p>
<p>“That sounds most likely. Looks like they disarmed it manually too. Didn’t even bother to clean it out,” she said bitterly as she put the device in a plastic bag. She handed it to Mike and then wiped her hand off on her jeans. Her other hand came up to self consciously feel the bump under her own forearm. Just thinking of someone ripping it out made her skin crawl.</p>
<p>“I’m sure he’s okay. Richie is a very capable agent,” Mike assured her. Beverly nodded. It used to just be Mike and Richie. Then it was Mike, Richie, and Bev. Stan just joined their team a couple years ago.</p>
<p>“He knew something was wrong…I could feel it too,” Bev said. Mike nodded in agreement.</p>
<p>“He was right that it was odd for them to be late. Do you think they did that to make us panic and react slower?” Mike theorized. Beverly nodded.</p>
<p>“Definitely. I’d be surprised if they actually did get caught up in traffic,” she scoffed. “They wanted him on the balcony and we just fucking handed him over on a silver platter.”</p>
<p>“Easy, Marsh. Let’s not get too riled up. We’re gonna find him,” Mike promised.</p>
<p>“The only way we can find him is if we miraculously find the secret Russian base under the city that we’ve been looking for all summer,” she snapped.</p>
<p>“We’re close, aren’t we? I say that until further instruction we continue our work,” he said.</p>
<p>“You mean until we hear back from your boy toy,” she teased with a little smile. Mike smiled himself and shook his head. He was glad some tension was resolved, but he didn’t like Beverly bringing that information up.</p>
<p>“Bill and I are professional first before anything. Besides, it’s nothing serious. You know how he feels about Stan,” Mike reminded her. She rolled her eyes.</p>
<p>“Look, I know it’s not the seventies anymore, but polyamory is still totally a thing. I think you three would work a lot better than just you and Bill or just Bill and Stan,” she suggested.</p>
<p>“I’ll make sure to bring that up during our debrief after we find Tozier, but for now…” he pointed back towards their car. “…we should get going.” Beverly sighed and nodded.</p>
<p>“Alright. Let’s go find that bastard.”</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>     Richie knew he was the best to send in for an interrogation. Now that he was thinking about it, he wouldn’t be surprised if Bill knew he’d get kidnapped and still approve the obvious mouse trap handed to them. Goddammit, he would die for Bill he but he hoped that he wouldn’t die at the hands of some shitty Russian spies under Paris for him. That was just absurd, like, <em>oh, how did your subordinate die in the field?</em>, and Bill being forced to say some shit like <em>y’know, I just let him sit in an obvious trap so he could be tortured and killed hundreds of miles under the most romantic city in the world</em>. It was stupid, but he knew why Bill did it. That didn’t make it any easier to deal with.</p>
<p>     Russians have never been polite people. Their interrogation tactics are no different, and Richie could tell they were going easy on him. Because they needed him alive. They knew he had valuable information, and they’d do anything to get it. They also knew capturing an agent with Richie’s level of knowledge and clearance was low. It was a silly game of hot and cold, and Richie was already getting tired of it.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Tell us what you know!</span>“</p>
<p>     Richie spat out blood at the feet of the man yelling at him. He was different from the man he met on the balcony.</p>
<p>“Well, <em>that’s </em>a broad question,” he chuckled and rolled his head back. Speaking in English only made it harder for them, so he did it often. “I know lots of things. Like algebra. I was actually a tutor in high school— I know, you’d never guess, right? Anyways, I was a tutor, and I’d get this girl in my room and she had the <em>biggest</em>—“</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Can someone shut him up!</span>“ the second man in the room groaned. He had been smoking up a storm, and Richie was desperate to get a secondhand whiff of that sweet sweet nicotine.</p>
<p>“C’mon, bud. Just one light. I’m desperate!” Richie cried with a grin. Even though his face was sore, he still managed to curl his lips in an appealing way.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Hey! Filthy American! Tell us what you know! How close are you to finding us!</span>” The first man snapped. Richie laughed, but was met with a smack. He still giggled, and spoke once the ringing in his ear stopped.</p>
<p>“How close am I? To finding you?” He chuckled again. “Baby, I’m <em>in </em>your lair. I’d say I already fucking found it.”</p>
<p>“<span class="u">God, you are fucking insufferable! How could anyone have sex with this talking animal!</span>“ the second guy ranted and put out his cig.</p>
<p>“Hey! There’s someone for everyone. I also happen to be a lot of people’s someone, alright,” he said with a toothy grin.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">You shut your mouth, you whore, and answer us, goddamnit</span>,” first guy said grabbing his face. Richie merely made kissy faces, and laughed when he pulled his hands away.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Fucking Russians! Always scared of a little man on man action. It’s hilarious</span>,“ he squealed with delight in Russian. The two men looked physically ill at the mention of homosexuality and shook their head before heading out of the room.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Disgusting, male whore</span>,” the second guy muttered while they left Richie alone still chained to the chair.</p>
<p>“Okay, we should do this again sometime! How about Sunday for brunch! I love you!” He called as he watched them leave and the doors shut.</p>
<p>     Once the doors closed he let his head fall in exhaustion and he sighed. It was all a character, yes, and that meant that pretending to be so enthusiastic was fucking tiring. Usually he conked our after being interrogated and beaten, and that was something he hated about himself. He tried not to, and even tried training himself not to in a controlled setting, but his body forced him to shut down and calm down after something like that. All of that meant that as soon as Richie closed his eyes he was out, and he kinda just accepted his fate as he slipped into something akin to sleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. 003</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Everything underlined is spoken in Russian</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>     When Richie woke up he was surprised to find himself laying down instead of tied to the chair he passed out on. He was even more surprised to feel a lack of dried blood sticking to his face, and instead the harsh scent of alcohol. His eyes were used to the bright LED light that never shut off, but it still stung because of the bruise around his eyelid and cheek bone. Without thinking, he reached up to touch it, but his hand was immediately slapped away.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Don’t touch it, dumbass</span>,” a somewhat familiar voice mumbled. Richie blinked his eyes open and then looked over to see Doctor Kaspbrak tending to his wounded face. There was a cut above his eyebrow from the man’s watch when he first slapped him, and the doctor was paying closer attention to it than Richie thought was necessary. His brow eyes wide and beautiful, and his face pulled into the cutest expression of concentration. Richie chuckled.</p>
<p>“Who knew I just had to get kidnapped by the Russians to get myself a cute doctor,” he said.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">I don’t speak a lot of English, but I heard </span>cute doctor. <span class="u">If you’re talking about me, I‘ll make sure you die and make it look like an accident</span>,” Kaspbrak said. Richie smiled.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">So you’re cute and you’re deadly. Just how I like them</span>,” Richie replied, speaking in his language. The doctor glared at him and shook his head.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Stupid Americans. They warned me that you were a homosexual</span>,” he mumbled.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">I didn’t realize that needed a warning. Considering everything about myself, I’d say my interest in cute boys is the least dangerous or interesting thing about me</span>,” Richie said with a smirk. The doctor glared at him again.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Do you really expect me to be that naive? You’re a pervert, and you’re using it to distract us. I don’t think you even like men</span>.“</p>
<p>“Mon amour, <span class="u">what do I have to do to convince you that my love for you is real?</span>“ Richie gave him a fake pout, and then grinned when he saw the redness burst across the doctor’s face.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Y-You disgusting pervert</span>,“ he grumbled and bandaged up the cut. He then reached for an ice pack and set it on Richie’s black eye.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">I’m just a lonely boy hoping to find someone to hold, Doctor. Do you like to be held</span>, Doctor K?” Richie continued to tease. The doctor shook his head.</p>
<p>“Do not call me that!“ he hissed in English. The accent was so thick, it made Richie smile wider. “I am Doctor Kaspbrak.”</p>
<p>“Can I call you Doctor cutie?” Richie asked. Kaspbrak rolled his eyes and shook his head before preparing his cart to leave.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Sleep. They are coming again later</span>.“ It sounded more like he was trying to warn Richie instead of boss him around that time. It made Richie smile again and reach up to blow him a kiss.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">I will be here waiting for you to patch me up again</span>, Doctor K,” he sang. The doctor turned red again, and then quickly pushed the cart out of the room. </p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>     Stanley has been sat at his computer for the entire twenty six hours Richie had been captured. He had been desperately pursuing the system he spent all summer trying to crack into while Bev and Mike updated him ever so often. His brain was starting to feel like mush, and ignoring the hunger in his stomach was getting harder and harder to do. There was only so much an energy drink could do to keep him going. It was probably his fifth Red-bull that made him come to terms with that, but he still continued. Richie was probably being beaten up and tortured that second, and he couldn’t rest until he knew his friend was safe. At least, he couldn’t rest until he felt a hand on his shoulder. The touch so familiar and full of concern.</p>
<p>“Stanley…” Bill murmured.</p>
<p>“I’m close, Bill. I just…they have a lot of armor,” he replied.</p>
<p>“Stanley, y-y-you’re gonna crash,” he warned. Stan shook his head, but Bill turned his chair away from the computers so they could be eye to eye. “My good f-friend Ben will be h-helping out, okay? He’s really good with n-numbers and codes too. You sp-spoke to him just last night,” Bill reminded him. Stan shook his head and rubbed his tired eyes.</p>
<p>“I need to find Richie myself. I owe it to him after I told him it was going to be okay <em>right </em>before he got captured,” he insisted.</p>
<p>“Y-you’re no good to anyone sleep deprived,” Bill told him coldly. Stan looked up at him, and saw the softness in his eyes. He then leaned down to kiss the top of his head. “Get some r-rest, and s-some food. Th-that’s an order, Uris.” Stanley sighed.</p>
<p>“Fine…”</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>     Beverly smiled at the sandy haired man approaching her table. Mike sat with her and regarded the man with a grateful, but unfamiliar expression. Bev used to work with Ben before she was with her current team. It was her, Bill, and Ben on the field together before Bill got his promotion. After that she took a well deserved break, but was excited to be working with Richie and Mike. She had heard a lot about their work, and was over the moon to be working with more experienced agents. Needless to say the past few years have been more than exciting, but sometimes she did miss the smaller jobs with Ben and Bill.</p>
<p>     The waiter set down their coffees as Ben approached the table, and Beverly less than subtly crossed and uncrossed her legs as he came closer. Ben flashed his white teeth in a smile, and she smiled back. Mike chuckled, and Bev blushed a little when she realized Mike knew exactly what their relationship was before he even met Ben. He came to the table and took Beverly’s hand first to kiss the back of it.</p>
<p>“Pleasure to see you again, Agent Marsh,” he greeted. She smiled wider and nodded before gesturing to Mike.</p>
<p>“Ben, this is Mike Hanlon. He’s the senior agent on our team,” she introduced. Ben politely let her hand slip from his and he turned to greet Mike. Mike stood up to shake his hand, and they shared a genuine smile.</p>
<p>“Senior Agent? That’s a very respected title, sir. It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Ben said. Mike nodded.</p>
<p>“Thank you, but you can just call me Mike. I’m a senior, but I’m no older than most agents you’ve already met,” he assured him.</p>
<p>“Mike started working when he was sixteen. He’s been with us ever since then,” Bev told them.</p>
<p>“Fifteen years ago. I was invited so young due to special circumstances I’m not allowed to discuss,” Mike said with a smile. Ben nodded.</p>
<p>“Sounds reasonable. Thank you for inviting me to this job. I wish we could’ve met on better circumstances,” Ben said. Mike nodded, losing his smile a little thinking about his lost partner.</p>
<p>“Have you seen Richie yet? Bill told us about your position,” Beverly said. Ben nodded.</p>
<p>“Yes, I saw him yesterday morning. I haven’t been called to tend to him yet, so I don’t know how much they’ve done to him. I’m only there for talking. They have me tell them it’s a psych evaluation but it’s often a tactic to get them to talk,” Ben explained.</p>
<p>“If you work down there, how come we’re still trying to find it?” Mike asked. Ben sighed.</p>
<p>“Because I still don’t know where it is. I get called in, I don’t clock in or anything, and when I’m called in they bring me in themselves and they make sure I can’t see or hear or figure out where I am. I’m in my apartment, then I’m at my desk, and then I’m back in my apartment,” Ben explained.</p>
<p>“Sounds disorienting,” Bev noted. He nodded.</p>
<p>“Very. I know for sure they removed his device and stitched it back up. They have a physical doctor always on hand named Edward Kaspbrak. He’s most likely the one who has the most contact with Richie, but he’s a bit aggressive. I can try to crack him, but he’s got a lot of propaganda instilled in him. It might be hard winning him as an ally. Even then, I predict he’d blindside us when we need him the most,” Ben explained.</p>
<p>“Maybe Richie could get to him,” Beverly mused out loud.</p>
<p>“Maybe. I can’t say for sure. He’s definitely hard to place,” Ben nodded.</p>
<p>“Is he cute?” Mike asked. Beverly snorted, and Ben gave him a confused look.</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“Edward Kaspbrak. Is he cute?” He reiterated.</p>
<p>“I mean…I’m straight, but…I guess?”</p>
<p>“Is he brunette and snappy?” Bev asked. Ben nodded, and then Bev and Mike made eye contact.</p>
<p>“That’s definitely his type. I’m sure he’s gonna confuse the hell out of that Russian,” Bev said.</p>
<p>“Most likely, Richie will be able to befriend him. Especially if they are spending a lot of time together, and <em>especially </em>if Richie thinks he’s cute,” Mike said. Bev nodded in agreement. Ben frowned.</p>
<p>“What makes you so sure?” He asked.</p>
<p>“Richie has is way with people. He’s a people person. You’ve probably noticed he has a knack for talking,” Bev explained. Ben opened his mouth to respond, but was interrupted by his phone going off in his pocket. He pulled it out and opened the message.</p>
<p>“They need me right now.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. 004</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>     This was the last thing that Eddie wanted to be doing with his life. If he allowed himself to be honest, he would talk about how he hates the constant sounds of screaming and crying. He hated tending to strangers wounds hour after hour not knowing what they’re saying or begging of him. It made him feel sick, but he was told it was for the greater good. He had lost track of the different languages he had heard “help me” in, but he could always recognize it. It was a feeling that transcended language, and after a while he had to numb himself to it and block it out. Mend the wounds and go back to his cubical to sanitize and disinfect for the next one. It was the same everyday…until he met agent Tozier.</p><p>     Tozier was different. He didn’t scream or cry or beg for his life. Even when Eddie could hear the less than forgiving slap against skin his ears were only met with laughter instead of sobbing. It was the strangest thing Eddie had yet to experience since he started his work, but he was certain this agent would break soon just like everyone else. The last thing he wanted to do was get his hopes up for this man. When he looked at Eddie it felt like he could see deep into his soul, and he didn’t know if he loved that or hated it.</p><p>     He was always passed out when Eddie tended to him. The second visit he wasn’t even conscious for, and Eddie started to fear he wasn’t being fed or watered. The third visit he was awake, and Eddie was still surprised whenever the agent bothered to speak his language for the sake of his comprehension. It was infuriatingly thoughtful, and he wasn’t used to be considered as anything by a way out. Surely that’s what he was doing. He had no real interest in Eddie, he was just looking for a way out and Eddie was the only one not to raise a fist. It was nothing more. He couldn’t be trusted.</p><p>     Despite that train of thought drilled into his brain, Eddie still couldn’t help but feel the need to bring him food and water. He only did it for prisoners he truly pitied, and he had made the argument over and over that it was his job to keep them alive. No one ever questioned him for it anymore, but his supervisor did give him a hard look when he rolled the cart into agent Tozier’s room with a bowl of soup, a slice of bread, and a glass of water.</p><p>“Doctor Cutie pie! My favorite,” Tozier grinned as he watched Eddie walk in. His eyes widened when he saw the food, and his stomach growled when he was reminded of how hungry he really was.</p><p>“<span class="u">If you want this food, you’ll keep your perverted thoughts to yourself</span>,” Eddie threatened. Richie was sat on the edge of his bed and couldn’t keep his eyes off the warm food. Usually he was passed out by the time Eddie got to him, but this time he was wide awake. Perhaps Doctor Winters was here earlier.</p><p>“Fuck, I’m so hungry,” Richie sighed in English. Eddie could understand that much, and nodded.</p><p>“<span class="u">Stay still</span>,” Eddie directed under his breath as Richie stayed fixated on the dish.</p><p>“Yessir.”</p><p>     He checked the cut above Richie’s eyebrow and pulled out his materials to clean it and change the dressings. He then moved on to clean the cut on his forearm, and change those dressings as well. A fat split lip joined the arrangement of injuries on his face, but thankfully the black eye had gone down a little. It was the most quiet Richie had been despite being the most beat up he’d been. Eddie quietly cleaned the split and spread some ointment on it and then stripped off his gloves.</p><p>“<span class="u">Okay. Now eat so I can leave you</span>,” Eddie said and crossed his arms.</p><p>“<span class="u">I don’t know if you’ve noticed</span>, Doc…” he held up his cuffed hands. “…but my hands are tied,” he said with a shrug. Eddie frowned.</p><p>“<span class="u">What do you want me to do? Feed you?</span>“ he spat. Riche’s brows shot up and he nodded excitedly.</p><p>“<span class="u">I’d be so happy if you did that</span>,” he said. Eddie blushed and shook his head before grabbing the soup and sitting next to him.</p><p>“<span class="u">You’re disgusting</span>,” he sneered and lifted up a spoonful of the soup. Richie happily accepted it, and smiled wider at him.</p><p>“<span class="u">Aw, Doctor, is that any way to talk to a man who could kill you at any second?</span>“ Richie said sweetly. Eddie paused with the spoon halfway to Richie’s mouth. At first he questioned it, but as Richie held his stare with that sickeningly sweet smile he found himself feeling anxious.</p><p>“…your hands are tied,” Eddie repeated his words from earlier. Richie raised his cuffed hands and pulled the chain taut.</p><p>“<span class="u">That’s true…but so could your neck if I wanted to</span>,” he whispered. Eddie then felt a drop in his stomach, but it was less fear and more excitement. No one had ever spoken to Eddie like this. Like he was a real threat. Like he was a real asset.</p><p>“<span class="u">What’s stopping you?</span>“ Eddie challenged. Tozier laughed.</p><p>“<span class="u">Isn’t it obvious? I like you. That’s why. Now, please, I don’t know how long it’s been since I last ate but I’m starving</span>,” he said gesturing to the spoon. Eddie nodded and lead the spoon to his mouth.</p><p>“<span class="u">Don’t say things like that. It’s sick</span>,” Eddie scolded.</p><p>“<span class="u">What? That I like you? It’s the truth. You’re very adorable</span>,” Richie said. His voice affected Eddie in ways he thought he had trained himself not to respond to. Apparently all it took to undo years of conversion therapy was a witty agent with a soft smile and a sensual voice.</p><p>“<span class="u">I’m a grown man. How dare you describe me as cute</span>,” he pouted. Richie chuckled and took the bread from the cart to dip it in the soup.</p><p>“You’re just the cutest,” he grinned and took a bite. Eddie blushed and glared at him before feeding him another spoonful. His voice sounded different in English. His accent bled through his Russian only a little bit, but when he spoke in English it sounded more natural. Fitting. Attractive.</p><p>“<span class="u">Doctor Kaspbrak…what’s going on?</span>“</p><p>     Eddie’s eyes snapped up to Doctor Winters as he walked in, and his face burned with embarrassment. He set the soup onto the cart and stood up straight so he could put a few steps between himself and the prisoner. Thankfully it was the American who caught him and not one of his supervisors. Anyone else would question him for being so unnecessarily close with the prisoner.</p><p>“<span class="u">Doctor Winters…h-his handcuffs. They were in the way</span>,” Eddie pointed.</p><p>“<span class="u">Then get the guards to take them off and watch him</span>,” Winters told him.</p><p>“<span class="u">He said he could kill me</span>,” Eddie murmured.</p><p>“But then I told him I wouldn’t!” Richie added. Eddie glared at him and he winked in response.</p><p>“And what makes you insure Doctor Kaspbrak’s safety so confidently?” Winters asked him. Richie glanced back at Eddie and gave him a look up and down before smiling wide at Winters.</p><p>“He’s my type,” he said simply. Winters chuckled, and Eddie furrowed his brows in confusion.</p><p>“<span class="u">What did he say?</span>“ he asked Winters.</p><p>“<span class="u">He said that your appearance…is in his favor</span>,” Winters put delicately. Eddie blushed again and shook his head before storming out.</p><p>“<span class="u">Disgusting. I’ll fetch my cart later</span>,” he grumbled.</p><p>“God, I love that little fire cracker. He’s the only thing that’s stopping me from leaving a one star review on yelp,” Richie said. Winters came to grab the bowl and resumed feeding Richie.</p><p>“Is that so? How many do we have now? One and a half?” Winters asked. Richie shook his head as he accepted the spoonful of soup.</p><p>“No way. That guy gets a whole star to himself,” Richie replied with a smirk. Winters chuckled too.</p><p>“He really wants out of here y’know?” He said quietly. Richie blinked at him and slowly accepted the next spoonful.</p><p>“Does he?” He asked. Winters nodded.</p><p>“Desperately. He hates the screaming. He told me over the summer.”</p><p>“Maybe I should take him with me when I make my big escape,” Richie hummed. Winters chuckled, and Richie laughed with him.</p><p>“You mean if…and <em>if </em>you do…” he paused for a moment, hoping Richie would catch on. “…I think you should most definitely take him with you.” Richie held his eyes for a moment before nodding.</p><p>“Sounds like a plan, Doc.” Winters smiled and patted his shoulder.</p><p>“Good. Now tell me how you’re holding up.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. 005</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>TW: vomiting, forceful gagging, beating, isolation</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Everything underlined is Russian</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>     Stanley woke up gasping and covered in sweat. His eyes snapped open and he sat up immediately to find Bill in his apartment with a bag of food. They made eye contact while Stan still struggled to catch his breath. Bill set the food down on the counter and started pulling out the boxes of Chinese food. He grabbed a fork for himself and chopsticks for Stan, and handed him the box with his utensils. Stan accepted it, but placed it on his coffee table before getting up and rushing to his computer on his kitchen counter. Bill sighed and sat down. </p>
<p>“I see you d-didn’t make it to your b-bed,” Bill said as Stan started furiously typing and scrolling.</p>
<p>“I figured it out,” he sighed. Bill ran his fingers through his hair.</p>
<p>“Stan, p-please eat,” he begged.</p>
<p>“In a second.”</p>
<p>“B-B-Ben started on it last n-night, okay? He said he got c-close—“</p>
<p>“He got close, but he didn’t <em>get</em> it, Bill. I fucking <em>have</em> it,” Stan insisted stubbornly. Bill set his own food on the coffee table and got up to stand next to him. He put his hand on Stan’s clammy back, but he was ignored.</p>
<p>“Stanley…”</p>
<p>“<em>Here</em>,” Stan turned the laptop to Bill to show the code. “I need to go now and put this in. You can come with me or not, but I’m not stopping,” he said closing the lap top and walking back to the couch to tug on his teeshirt.</p>
<p>“Stanley, the office is c-closed at this hour—“</p>
<p>“Then let me in! You’re the fucking boss, Bill!” Stanley snapped and then shoved his shoes on. He returned to his lap top and looked Bill in the eyes. “This could save Richie’s life. Either give me the keys or come with me.” Bill held his stare and then finally sighed.</p>
<p>“Alright…”</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>“<span class="u">You do a very exceptional job, Doctor Kaspbrak</span>,” Ben hummed as he stepped into Edward’s cubical. It was a solid room he used to clean and disinfect his tools and cart. The younger man looked up at him and blinked before sparing a short smile.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Thank you, Doctor Winters. I’ve quite literally been trained to do this my whole life</span>,” he replied.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">That’s amazing. So you’ve always wanted to be a doctor?</span>“ Ben asked. Edward paused in the middle of wiping down his cart and then quickly resumed his pace.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">No. I wanted to be the type of person who went on adventures and worked with animals when I was little. My mother discouraged it because it was dangerous and dirty. Then I was taken from home and trained to work in the medical field when I was six</span>,” he explained. No one had really asked Eddie about his life. He almost forgot about his mother, but her harsh words were always the ones that echoed in his brain when he doubted himself.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">So you’re not originally from Russia?</span>“ Eddie shook his head.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">My mom and I lived in a small town outside of Madrid. Spanish is my first language, but I’m not fluent in it like I am Russian</span>,” he told Doctor Winters. Ben nodded.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Makes sense. Is there any possible way for you to…return to a normal life?</span>“ he asked. Edward stopped his work completely and looked up at Doctor Winters. He furrowed his brows and then looked down to think about it.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">I…I don’t know. I’ve always accepted that this is my job. This is what I do. I hate it, but I have to. I live here</span>.”</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Would you like to?</span>”</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Like to what?</span>“</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Return to a normal life?</span>“ Ben waited for Edward to look back at him, and when he did he smiled at the younger man.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">I don’t know…what that means</span>,” Eddie confessed sounding embarrassed. Ben shrugged.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">It means freedom. Essentially. It means having a job that you enjoy, that pays you, and leaving at the end of the day to a home that you decorate yourself. It means having friends and enjoying yourself. It means being yourself</span>,” he explained.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Myself?</span>“ Eddie whispered. Ben nodded. Eddie held his breath for a moment before shaking his head. “<span class="u">My duty is to my country first</span>.“</p>
<p>“Is Russia your country?” Winters asked in English. Eddie looked up at him again, and then to the camera that was always in the corner.</p>
<p>“We can’t…speak of this…” Eddie struggled in English.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">I cut it in the control room for thirty minutes. Tell me. Do you want out?</span>” Winters asked again. Eddie hesitated for a moment before glancing at the camera again, and then back to Winters.</p>
<p>“…yes…”</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>     It never helped to try and figure out how long Richie has been in isolation. That was always the worst part. From how much he talked, it was typically one of the first types of torture used against him if he was captured. It went from slapping and punching to yelling to absolute radio silence. By the third time it happened, Richie learned to just sleep and doze off to cope with it. It was actually rather ironic that it actually taught him how to meditate. He never knew how many hours, days, weeks he was left alone for in the past, but he knew when he was officially being isolated.</p>
<p>     The last time someone came in was to patch him up. He had a talk with Doctor Winters who lead Richie to believe that he could trust him. Ever since then he’s been alone in his room. Handcuffs still on with the LED light as bright as ever. He let his brain wander as he laid in the stiff bed provided to him. It must’ve been a while since he’s been in there alone because suddenly the sound of metal scratching against metal came out. He looked over at the door and saw a tray of food in front of it. The food didn’t look as appetizing as the food Kaspbrak brought in, but it looked edible. He pulled himself out of bed and ate it off the tray on the floor, not even bothering to take it back to the bed with him, and then slid it back under the food door once he was finished.</p>
<p>“Thank you guys for the meal. It was really too fucking kind of you,” Richie said sarcastically and leaned against the door.</p>
<p>     Being awake and upright made his face feel sore, but he knew that speaking and moving around was only a natural urge and it was useless suppressing it. In the past he’d often sing to himself, and if he was annoying enough the guards would break the rules and snap at him. Just a little bit of human contact kept him sane in those scenarios. This time he wasn’t sure if he was going to be so lucky. He closed his eyes and started humming a melody and let his head sway with it.</p>
<p>“I've been devoting myself to you Monday to Monday and Friday to Friday…” he sang to himself. “Not getting enough retribution or decent incentives to keep me at it…starting to feel just a little abused like a coffee machine in an office,” he let out an exaggerated moan that went with the song and smiled to himself. “So I'm gonna go somewhere closer to get me a lover and tell you about it…” he trailed off into more humming, but suddenly bolted when he heard the door unlock and watched it open.</p>
<p>“Oh my! <span class="u">What a lovely voice!</span>“ a familiar man said as he walked it with two more following him with a cart. Richie looked between all of them, and recognized the man speaking as the man he met up with in the restaurant.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Thank you…uh</span>…“</p>
<p>“<span class="u">I bet you’re confused of why I’m here</span>,” the man said as the two men unlocked Richie’s hand cuffs and dragged him back until he met the wall. Richie learned not to fight it a long time ago, and swallowed hard as they re-cuffed his hands to a pipe above his head.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">It crossed my mind, but I think it’s safe to assume you’re here to torture me some more</span>,” Richie said. The man smiled.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Precisely</span>,” he confirmed. Richie laughed. Just his luck. “<span class="u">Did you like the food? It’s a classic Russian dish. My grandmother would make it for me when I was a child,</span>” He said as he cracked his knuckles. Richie smiled.</p>
<p>“It was lovely,” he said in English.</p>
<p>“I can understand you clearly. I hope you know,” the man replied also in English.</p>
<p>“I’m glad we understand each other,” Richie sighed. He nodded and chuckled.</p>
<p>“Yes…I’m sure you know that it’s been a while since we last fed you,” he said. Richie nodded. “So…I suggest that if you want to keep your dinner inside you…that you should start talking.” Richie let out a big sigh and blew a raspberry.</p>
<p>“Well, gee, where should I start? I was a very lonely boy when I was younger, y’know? So I was kinda the class clown, but more so as a survival tactic. I was super insecure about my teeth and my glasses because they looked <em>way</em> too big for a ten year old. Once I figured out I was into <em>dudes</em>, I was just like game over y’know? I mean…I guess you don’t know—“</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Shut up</span>,” one of the extra men said. The guy from the restaurant held up his hand and shook his head.</p>
<p>“I’m not a very patient man, agent Tozier. I don’t normally give people a second chance, but I have some respect for how well you’ve handled all of this. So please. Tell us what we want to hear,” the man requested stepping closer. Richie giggled.</p>
<p>“Oh, I get it. You wanna hear the rest of the song. You should’ve just said so.”</p>
<p>“<em><span class="u">No!</span></em>“</p>
<p>“There's a she wolf in the closet! Open up and set her free! <em>Ah—</em>“ Richie groaned as he felt a fist collide with his stomach. He curled over as best he could behind strung up right, and felt his stomach curdle.</p>
<p>“If you don’t want to talk, then we’re finished here,” the man from the restaurant said before kicking a can forward and in front of Richie. </p>
<p>     The two other men held his face still and then shoved two fingers down Richie’s throat. His stomach lurched, and he doubled over to vomit into the bucket at his feet. He spit that last of the bile in his mouth and coughed. The cuffs pulled his arms into an uncomfortable angle, and he took a moment to mourn the contents of the bucket. Hopefully Doctor K would come in with another bowl of soup next time. They wouldn’t just let him die, right?</p>
<p>“Think about how you’re going about this, and when we return I hope you make the right decision,” the guy from the restaurant said. Richie heaved and glared at him before kicking the bucket over and spilling its contents out onto the floor. He chuckled. “<span class="u">You think I’m mad? That’ll just stay here with you. Enjoy the stench of your puke</span>,” he said. Richie rolled his eyes and let his head fall back against the wall. </p>
<p>“<span class="u">Cover him</span>.”</p>
<p>     Then everything was black.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. 006</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Stan rips Bill a new one</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>     For the first time in a long time Beverly felt absolutely useless. There was little to nothing that she and Mike could do to contribute to finding Richie, and she hated doing nothing. Mike was a lot more patient and understanding than she was, and waiting for Ben to return was absolutely painful. He had to remind her that Richie most likely wasn’t his only patient, but that only made her more annoyed. She paced anxiously across their small apartment in the city, and pointlessly checked her phone for any missed calls from Bill or Stan.</p>
<p>“How long could it fucking take, y’know? Like yeah, he has other patients, but is it really so hard to send a text to confirm he got it to him? Then we could at least activate it and fucking figure out where he is,” Beverly complained. Mike shrugged.</p>
<p>“I dunno. His job sounds rather complicated. It’s probably depended on the prisoner he’s dealing with.”</p>
<p>“It’s been almost thirty hours since he left! Like those are crazy hours to pull! Did he sleep there? Or did he fucking take a nap somewhere?”</p>
<p>“Ben will tell us when he’s back, okay?” Mike assured her gently. Beverly sighed and sat down at the table finally and shoveled her lunch in her face.</p>
<p>“I can’t believe he’s been working for them for so long. I wish I didn’t know because now I’m just worried about him,” she confessed.</p>
<p>“Are you two…involved?” Mike asked. Beverly slowed the fork to her mouth and then nodded.</p>
<p>“We shouldn’t have when we started…but we are,” she confirmed.</p>
<p>“He’s a very sweet guy. I can’t blame you,” Mike hummed. Beverly sighed.</p>
<p>“He really is. I just hope he doesn’t let people use that against him. He really just wants to do good for the world.”</p>
<p>“I believe that. One conversation with him and I can see he takes this very seriously,” Mike said. Beverly smiled.</p>
<p>“He always does…” she trailed off, and was interrupted from her thoughts when he phone went off. She scrambled to pick it up and stood up again. “Hello? Ben?”</p>
<p>“Hey, Bev. How are you?” Ben spoke from the other line. Beverly smiled at the sound of his voice and settled into a calmer pacing.</p>
<p>“I’m good. How are you? How did it go?”</p>
<p>“It went really good! Richie is really hanging in there. I can tell he’s been through this kinda shit before, and I’m really impressed with his strength.”</p>
<p>“I’d say it’s half stubbornness and half strength, but I admire that about him too,” Beverly agreed. Ben chuckled and she laughed with him.</p>
<p>“That’s also true. You guys were right about him being attracted to Edward Kaspbrak. He’s been flirting with him a lot. I managed to talk to him alone. I just hope he doesn’t back out…” Beverly frowned.</p>
<p>“Back out? Back out of what? I thought the plan was that you’d slip the tracker to Richie and leave as soon as possible?” Beverly said. Ben sighed.</p>
<p>“They make it very hard for me to slip things in there. Because I’m American they don’t fully trust me, so I talked to Edward instead and—“</p>
<p>“Ben, did you fucking hand over our tracker to a fucking <em>Russian?</em>“ she blurted.</p>
<p>“Wait, <em>what?</em>“ Mike said and got up to be close to the call. Beverly put it on speaker and felt her heart race.</p>
<p>“I had no choice! Look, he wants out too. I promised that if he goes along with this that we can get him a normal life,” Ben said.</p>
<p>“How is that easier than slipping it to Richie yourself?” Beverly demanded to know.</p>
<p>“Beverly, he might have a point,” Mike said. Beverly sighed and rubbed her forehead. She knew she was just worried. She trusts Mike and she trusts Ben. She just wanted everyone to be safe.</p>
<p>“Look, when I’m in the room with Richie all the cameras are on, and there are guards inside and out watching us. When it’s Edward it’s just the cameras. He could easily slip it past that, but I can’t,” Ben explained.</p>
<p>“Man, these Russians really have trust issues,” Mike muttered.</p>
<p>“I mean…it’s not for nothing. We’re literally trying to break into their shit,” Ben said. Beverly sighed.</p>
<p>“Sorry I yelled…but Richie is important to this team, okay Ben?”</p>
<p>“Of course. I promise you, we’ll get him home,” Ben assured her. Beverly smiled at that.</p>
<p>“Thank you…”</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>     Getting Stan in the office was annoying at first, but once he started typing into his work computer it became very apparent that it was worth it. Despite how fucking late it was, and how close to a coma Stanley looked like he was, watching the code unfold in front of him proved to be worth it. Within twenty minutes of Stan sitting in front of his computer he was able to get into the system they’ve been trying all summer to get into. Hundreds of thousands of documents at their disposal along with maps and instructions. Security codes and badge names. Copies of the uniform patterns and even what equipment they buy.</p>
<p>“H-holy shit,” Bill muttered as Stanley grabbed the take out he brought with them and dug into it.</p>
<p>“I told you I figured it out,” he grumbled and shoved the noodles into his mouth.</p>
<p>“Stan you’re t-truly amazing,” Bill said as he looked through all the documents and information laid out in front of them. Stanley nodded.</p>
<p>“I know,” he replied bitterly. Bill noticed the tone of his voice and crossed his arms. They were silent for a moment as Stan ate, and Bill pulled out his phone to shoot Mike and Bev a text.</p>
<p>“How quickly can we g-g-get this transferred to B-Ben’s laptop?” Bill asked.</p>
<p>“Probably about an hour,” Stan replied and immediately started to gather everything and make copies.</p>
<p>“G-good. I’ll t-t-text him so he knows it’s coming,” Bill replied. Stan merely hummed and did as he was asked. “I just told M-Mike and Bev t-too.”</p>
<p>“Of course. Must be hard with your fuck buddy on the other side of the planet,” Stan murmured. He knew he was being bitter, but with the combined stress of Richie being captured and his lack of sleep and real food, he allowed his anger to lash out. Bill sighed.</p>
<p>“Stan—“</p>
<p>“Spare me the bullshit, Bill,” he huffed.</p>
<p>“Y-you know I have love for b-both of you,” Bill said softly.</p>
<p>“I know that, but you don’t do anything to make it fucking work,” Stan accused. Bill gritted his teeth.</p>
<p>“I d-dunno if you’ve noticed, b-but Mike has been in fucking P-P-Paris for the past five months. S-s-sorry if it’s hard to work out a p-polyamorous relationship with one of our p-partners on the other side of the p-planet,” Bill said firmly.</p>
<p>“Does he even know you want him to be apart of this? When you visited him in August he fucking apologized to me because he thought you were cheating on me with him when I knew you wanted this! You’re not talking to him, Bill!” Stan snapped. Bill frowned.</p>
<p>“W-what?”</p>
<p>“You can’t just <em>assume</em> he knows what you’re thinking! He’s not like <em>me</em>, okay? I’ve known you for <em>decades</em>, and Mike has only known you <em>years</em>. I love him too, but you can’t just keep pretending like we can put this off!” He continued.</p>
<p>“I-I-I thought I…I thought I t-told him,” he murmured furrowing his brows. Stan shook his head.</p>
<p>“Look, I want Mike in this relationship just as much as you do, but you can’t just <em>have </em>a polyamorous relationship without <em>talking </em>about it and making an <em>effort</em> for it to work,” he said. Bill ran his fingers through his hair.</p>
<p>“I just…f-fuck…am I that d-dense?” He groaned. Stan laughed a little.</p>
<p>“Yeah, Bill. You can be…” he trailed off and watched as Bill’s hands dropped to his sides. He then reached out and grabbed the one closest to him, and Bill looked down at him. “…but I still love you, Billy. I always will. You just need to fucking think about this. Talk to Mike about this. <em>Properly</em>,” he urged. Bill nodded.</p>
<p>“Okay…I w-will…”</p>
<p>“And I’ll be there too if you want. We’re in this together. I told Mike that you weren’t cheating, but I told him it was something we had to talk about,” Stan explained. Bill nodded again.</p>
<p>“I think I’d l-like that…having you w-with me. Talking a lot can be…d-d-difficult,” Bill murmured. Stan smiled and nodded. Bill has been stuttering his whole life. It used to be so much worse, and it really came out when he was nervous or angry. He wasn’t new to Bill wanting his support to have harder conversations.</p>
<p>“Of course…I’m always here for you,” Stan assured him. Bill smiled and leaned down to kiss the top of his head.</p>
<p>“Th-thank you…”</p>
<p>“But I’m also still mad about the Richie thing, so you’re still on thin fucking ice,” he deadpanned before turning back to his computer. Bill nodded.</p>
<p>“Y-yeah, that’s fair…”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. 007</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>TW: Homophobic language, internalized homophobia, discussions about conversion therapy.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Did I title my chapters like this purely to make a bond joke? Yes. Yes, I did.</p>
<p>Next chapter is jail break ayeeeeeee bbs</p>
<p>After that it’s mostly Richie and Eddie and getting together so stay tuned! I have over 25 chapters written all together and I think I’m almost finished. I’m glad you’re all enjoying this as much as I am :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>“<span class="u">Doctor Kaspbrak? Room thirty six needs attention</span>,” an officer said as he peeked into Eddie’s room. He was just finishing up cleaning his tools from the last prisoner, and was surprised to have another one so soon. He was also nervous at the mention of agent Tozier’s room, and fumbled with his interments trying to put them away.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">I’ll be right there</span>,” he replied and nodded. The officer lingered for a moment before nodding back and leaving.</p>
<p>     He took a deep breath. The tracker and burner phone in his coat pocket felt like it weight a million pounds. Throughout the forty eight hours since Doctor Winters gave it to him, he had been going back and forth between giving in and giving up. He knew if he was caught with the device or caught giving it to Tozier that he’d be a dead man, but if he succeeded in doing it he’d be more free than he had ever been. The risk made it hard for him to sleep, and he could barely eat at all. He tried not to think about it, but any mention of the American prisoner in that cell pulled at his stomach. Why did he agree to this mess?</p>
<p>     The hallways were as quiet as always as Eddie wheeled his cart to Tozier’s room. He nodded to the guards always posted outside, and held his breath as they opened the door for him. His heart dropped as the door revealed agent Tozier cuffed to the water pipe. What looked like a creamy soup that took a brief trip to someone’s stomach was spilling from a bucket in front of him, and there was a black bag covering the agents head.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Give me the keys</span>,” Eddie demanded without a second thought. The guards hesitated for a moment, and he glared at them holding out his hand. “<span class="u">Give me the fucking keys to his hand cuffs!</span>“ he shouted instead. </p>
<p>     They then scrambled to give him the keys, and Eddie marched in with his cart. He left it at the door and scrunched his nose when he smelled the combination of starch and stomach acid. </p>
<p>“<span class="u">Get someone to clean this up, <em>now!</em></span>“ Eddie ordered before walking briskly to the prisoner. </p>
<p>     The agent was shivering, and Eddie felt an involuntary tug on his heart as he reached up to undo the cuffs. Tozier let out a gasp and slumped against Eddie as he pulled back the bag and checked his face wounds. Tired blue eyes blinked up at him, and Eddie tried to ignore the way they fluttered and examined his face. It only made him feel hot when he did, so he focused on the split in his lip that was reopened and the swelling around his black eye. The agent then chuckled and said something in English, and Eddie tried to smooth the smile on his face so he didn’t stretch the split.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">I don’t understand you when you slur your words and when you speak English</span>,” Eddie told him and started dragging him to the bed. Tozier giggled and willingly followed.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">I said, either I’ve died and gone to heaven, or you’re a hallucination. Usually it takes longer for those to set in, but of all things I’m glad you are occupying my subconscious</span>,” Richie replied as he desperately felt the material of Doctor Kaspbrak’s white coat.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">You stupid homo, you’re delirious</span>,” he grumbled setting him on the bed. He then spotted the man the guards sent in cleaning up the vomit, and snapped to get his attention. “<span class="u">Go to the cafeteria and get food and water once you’re done. He’s going to die of dehydration if you don’t</span>,” he ordered.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">So what if he does? He never talks</span>,” the man replied. Eddie marched over and smacked him square across the face and then held it to force the man to look at him.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Whether he talks or not, he is a valuable asset that I’ve been ordered to keep alive above everything else. Do I make myself clear?</span>“ he hissed. The man nodded, eyes wide in fear, and scurried out of the room once Eddie let him go.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Fuck, you are one sexy little commie. You’ve got</span> power bottom <span class="u">written all over you</span>,” Richie rambled tiredly. Eddie blushed furiously and shook his head before wheeling his cart over and pulling on a pair of gloves.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Don’t get your hopes up. I’m not here to entertain you</span>,” Eddie replied and pulled out his alcohol pads and started cleaning the reopened cut.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">I know, but you don’t have to do anything to do it. You just have to simply be</span>,” Richie replied, the Russian words rolling off his tongue like a purr as he sat up to be closer to the Doctor. Eddie spared him some eye contact only to glare at him before he moved to open a new alcohol packet and clean the stitches on his forearm.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">These stitches are never going to heal properly if you keep provoking them</span>,” Eddie told him. Richie huffed a laugh.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">They only hit harder if I’m quiet. If I talk at least they’re distracted</span>,” Richie hummed. Eddie slowed his cleaning.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">How do you know that?</span>“</p>
<p>“<span class="u">This isn’t my first interrogation, baby</span>,” Richie said vaguely. Eddie sighed and got up to pull out his instruments for stitches.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">I’m going to redo your stitches. They’ve pulled too much at your skin and they’re loose. Plus, the gash reopened from hanging your arms like that</span>,” Eddie told him.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Let me bite the wooden stick, please. I’m terrible with needles</span>,” Richie hummed.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">You won’t even feel it</span>,” Eddie promised before sitting again and pulling the cart closer. Richie sighed and held out his forearm as Eddie cut open the stitches.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Good thing my doctor is cute. He can distract me the whole time</span>,” Richie said and gave a nervous laugh. Eddie shook his head.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">I’m not like you, agent Tozier</span>,” he replied stubbornly.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Like what? And, please, call me</span> Richie.” Eddie bit his lip and picked the stitches to place them in the metal dish he had off to the side.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">I am not a homosexual, and I’ll stick to formalities, thank you</span>,” he murmured as he tried to focus purely on the wound. Richie chuckled.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Really? How do you know you’re not a homosexual? You get awfully flustered by my flirting for a straight man</span>,” he teased. Eddie felt his face burn, but decided to ignore it as he got his needle ready.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">I know because I spent many years assuring that I’m not</span>,” he said just as vaguely as Richie did earlier. Richie was quiet for a moment, and then turned his head away when Eddie got the needle close to his skin.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">How so?</span>“</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Excuse me?</span>“</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Did you…are you talking about conversion therapy?</span>“ Richie asked. Eddie felt his heart skip, but continued his work.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">I went to therapy…and the doctors made sure I was well</span>,” Eddie murmured. Richie shook his head.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">They fed you lies, Doctor Kaspbrak</span>,” he said softly. His voice so gentle, so caring, but the words it occupied made Eddie squirm.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">The way I felt about men wasn’t real. Love only exists between a man and a woman. I was ripped away from the arms of my mother when I was younger. Of course I’d have some apprehension around women</span>,” Eddie explained calmly. </p>
<p>     Richie turned his head back and waited for Eddie to look back up at him. When their eyes connected, Eddie could feel it. The tension, the air, the heat. Everything between them. The warmth from Richie’s wrist that rested against Eddie’s knee. Soft skin that touched Eddie’s wrist where the glove ended. Their lungs breathing more and more in sync the longer they looked at each other. He could see the sadness and disappointment in Richie’s eyes, and he could see the desire and care behind that. He could feel his heart sink the longer Richie remained silent, and then felt it jolt when he took a deep breath and started talking.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Something I learned a long time ago…was that people will do anything to get their way. Even if it means exploiting someone’s trauma. Anyone will do it. Even the people you trust</span>,” Richie said. Eddie blinked at him and furrowed his brows. “<span class="u">Just…keep that in mind, okay? Love isn’t something you can define</span>,” he mumbled.</p>
<p>     Eddie felt his words get caught in his throat. He wanted to speak, to insist that whatever Richie was trying to insinuate was wrong, and that Eddie was capable of taking care of himself. No matter how hard he tried, all he could do was stare at the other man. His hands hovering and trembling over the final stitch, and his chest feeling incredibly tight. The only thing that pulled him out of it was the door opening again and the man from earlier bringing in a tray from the cafeteria.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Here you go, Doctor Kaspbrak. Freshly made and with milk and water</span>,” the man said. Eddie nodded and then shooed him away without looking away from the stitches.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Thank you</span>,” Richie said smiling as wide as ever. The man gave him a disgusted look.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">You’re lucky I didn’t spit in it. Fucking prostitute</span>,” he growled before leaving and shutting the door. Eddie finally managed to finish up the stitches and tied it off.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">I’ll leave you to eat now. It shouldn’t be a problem since I took the cuffs off. Knock on the door when you’re done, and the guards will put them back on. If you haven’t finished within thirty minutes they’ll come in by themselves</span>,” Eddie instructed as he cut the string and stood up. He pulled off his gloves and reached for the tray to hand to Richie. Their hands brushed, and instead of pulling away like Eddie should’ve, he lingered again and spared a glance at him. Of course Richie was still smiling, and Eddie looked away quickly.</p>
<p>“Thank you, Doctor Kaspbrak,” Richie said in English. Eddie scoffed and shook his head.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">For what?</span>“</p>
<p>“<span class="u">For keeping me alive</span>,” Richie murmured.</p>
<p>     Eddie hesitated for a moment and nodded before rolling his cart out of the room. He then tried not to rush back into his cubical, and threw all his disposables in the trash. His heart raced as he dug into his pocket and strategically turned himself away from the camera so it couldn’t see the burner phone he pressed to his ear. The answer came immediately after he dialed, and he rehearsed the code Doctor Winters taught to him in his head.</p>
<p>“Hello?” A feminine voice answered, and Eddie felt himself tremble.</p>
<p>“Take out the trash,” he said clearly into the phone, and then snapped it and tossed it in with the rest of his disposables.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. 008</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Richie and Eddie are very Richie and Eddie in this one</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>     Richie had noticed that Doctor Kaspbrak was a very serious man who took himself very seriously. The things he told Richie were always correct, but the things about himself weren’t always so. As he said, the guard came in after Richie finished eating and refastened the silver cuffs around his wrists. He wasn’t too fond of feeling the cold metal around his wrists again. They weren’t raw yet, but they were definitely sore. He didn’t bother to knock on the door so he could soak up every second he could without them.</p>
<p>     After that he was painfully alone. The food he ate was very filling, but he kept it to smaller portions since he had no idea when Doctor K would return. His concept of time was completely obliterated now. With no clock and no break from the LED light how could he? He didn’t know if he saw Kaspbrak hours or days between. Trying to figure it out only made him anxious in the past, so he merely took a deep breath and tried to sleep for as long as he possibly could. Whoever would open his door next most likely wouldn’t be friendly, and he wasn’t too eager to meet the guy from the restaurant again. His wrists and his arms were still sore from being kept in that same position for so long. It felt like days.</p>
<p>     The next time, however, someone opened his door, Richie was pleasantly surprised. He was asleep when it opened, and when he was woken up he was glad to see Doctor Winters in front of him. He smiled and rubbed his eyes, but was quickly guided upright.</p>
<p>“Richie, I need you awake, okay? Can you do that?” Winters asked. Richie yawned and then nodded.</p>
<p>“Got it. I’m ready for anything, Doc,” he replied and blinked at him sleepily. Winters smirked.</p>
<p>“Are you ready to bust out of here?” Winters asked. That woke Richie right up, and he stared at the doctor with wide eyes.</p>
<p>“Uh, fuck yeah,” he replied as Winters unlocked his handcuffs. “Oh, <em>fuck </em>yeah.”</p>
<p>“We need to be quiet, okay? I got the guards away, but not for long,” Winters told him and pulled Richie to his feet. He nodded and followed the doctor out of the room and down the hall.</p>
<p>     It almost felt like a fever dream. He was stuck in that tiny room for so long, he didn’t think there was anything else to this place. The most surprising thing about it was how empty it was. There wasn’t a soul in sight, and by the time Doctor Winters pulled him into a room off to the side they still hadn’t run into anyone. What was absolutely shocking though was when Richie closed the door behind him and turned around to see Doctor Kaspbrak with Richie’s weapons they had confiscated on his cart. He smiled wide, and loved the blush on the doctor’s cheeks.</p>
<p>“Doctor Cutie pie! What a pleasure to see you!” He said and immediately went to the table. The jacket to his outfit was in Kaspbrak’s hands, and he handed it to Richie immediately.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">I’m not here for you. Let’s get going</span>,” he mumbled as Richie put himself together.</p>
<p>“Fuck, is Mike and Bevvy here too? I’ll kill them if they risked coming down here so recklessly. How the fuck did they even find me?” Richie rambled while tucking his knives in his usual places.</p>
<p>“Don’t worry. Mike and Bev are waiting in what they call the docking area. Finding you was really hard, but thanks to Stan’s computer skills and Edward over here we were able to get to you pretty quickly,” Winters replied. Richie immediately looked at Doctor Kaspbrak with wide wild eyes. Eddie was lost in the conversation, but didn’t like the look on Richie’s face.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">What?</span>“ he asked.</p>
<p>“Little Eddie, <span class="u">you helped my team find me?</span>“ he asked. The doctor turned bright red and glared at Winters.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">You told him my name?</span>“ he hissed. Winters frowned.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Did he not know your name is Edward?</span>“ he asked. Eddie sighed and shook his head.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">We need to get moving. Everyone will be waking up in a few hours, and officers will start their morning meetings in an hour</span>,” Eddie urged.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Sir, yessir</span>, Eddie Spaghetti,” Richie said. Eddie glared at him and shook his head.</p>
<p>“I’m Ben by the way. Ben Hanscom Not Doctor Winters,” Ben announced. Richie held out his hand, and Ben accepted it.</p>
<p>“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Agent Handsome. Agent Richie Tozier at your service,” he replied. Ben chuckled and gestured to the door.</p>
<p>“Shall we?”</p>
<p>“We shall. <span class="u">Let’s go!</span>”</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Fucking finally</span>.“</p>
<p>     This was one of the rare times they had managed to get an inside man to work on a mission. Usually by now they had flaked or turned on them and sent them back in their progress. Eddie was very determined to get them to the docks, and with his level of clearance he was able to move freely throughout the entire underground empire. Getting to the docks in under an hour without being seen was apparently hard if they had been moving even thirty minutes later than they were. The information Eddie supplied was incredibly detailed, and he managed to slip all three of them soundlessly through the halls. What could’ve taken weeks to plan and execute only took them half a day to plan, and it was running smoother than any other rescue mission they’ve done before.</p>
<p>     As expected, Beverly and Mike were waiting in a van at the docks. The docks were just a loading zone that lead to a car garage on the outskirts of town. Apparently the maps Stan was able to extract placed the entrances at various car shops around the surrounding towns of Paris. The underground system was much much bigger than they had anticipated, and it was so obvious how they got from where they dropped Richie’s tracker to the entrance just five miles south of it. Ben explained as they exited the tunnels and entered the car shop that once they had the map Ben finally knew where he was being taken for the past few months. </p>
<p>“This place is fucking crazy, and those fucking Russians are fucking assholes,” Richie sighed as they saw the van within sight.</p>
<p>“You’re telling me. I had to work with them,” Ben replied. Richie let out a loud laugh, and Eddie quickly shushed him.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Shut up, there are some stationed up here</span>—“</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Doctor Kaspbrak? Doctor Winters? What are you doing up here? Who is this?</span>“</p>
<p>     The three of them stopped and turned to see an older gentlemen in a dirty pair of overalls hunched over a car engine. Eddie shot Richie a glare, and then returned to look at the man. He was clearly only hired to watch the garage incase someone managed to get out of the system. There was nothing more or less to his position, so he probably wouldn’t attack.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Good morning, Sir. We were instructed to…to get him some fresh air. The cells…his has mold, and it’s not good for his lungs. He has to stay alive</span>,” Eddie explained. The man stared at them and looked them all up and down.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">I didn’t know you knew how to drive, Doctor Kaspbrak</span>,” he said. Eddie felt his stomach drop.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Uh</span>…“ the man grabbed a wrench and stepped closer. “<span class="u">Th-Thats why I grabbed Doctor Winters</span>…“</p>
<p>“<span class="u">I hope you’re not planning on betraying Russia. I know about you, Edward. It would be a shame for you to be caught in a lie</span>,” the man said as he stepped closer. Richie touched Eddie’s shoulder, but the doctor merely tried to shrug him off.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">I’m not…th-thats not what this is, I</span>—“</p>
<p>     Eddie stopped talking as the wrench came swinging at him. He squeezed his eyes shut, and before it could collide with his skull he heard it hit something metal and then fall to the ground. When he opened his eyes he found the man pressed against the car he was working on, and Richie on top of him holding a large blade to his neck. His heart raced, and Ben pulled him towards the car.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">If you even think about following us, I will personally slit your throat and pour your blood back down it just to watch it fall again</span>,” he hissed.</p>
<p>“Richie! Let’s go! Leave him!” Beverly called from the car. He cursed, and then pulled another smaller knife from his belt to pin the man’s overalls to the car.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Fucking forget about us</span>,” he growled and then ran to the van.</p>
<p>     Just as he climbed in a handful of men rushed into the garage and started shooting at them. Ben handed Richie a gun, and he immediately started shooting back as Bev stepped on the gas and got the van moving. Richie closed the side door, and then moved to the back to open the back window to keep shooting as they drove away. The few men that survived Richie’s aim followed them out of the garage Stan had managed to hack into and keep open. It wasn’t long before Richie got both of them, but not before they managed to graze his shoulder. He merely groaned as blood soaked into his jacket, and he successfully took out the last guy. Ben took the gun from him, and he immediately fell back against the wall of the car.</p>
<p>“Richie, are you okay?” Bev called.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">You fucking idiot, what is wrong with you?</span>“ Eddie growled. He was by Richie’s side the second his back hit the car wall. Richie smiled at him and sat up to let Eddie strip off his jacket and get a closer look at the wound.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Patch me up one more time</span>, Doctor K?” Richie asked. Eddie shook his head and tore off a piece of his white coat to press against the wound. He then turned to Ben and spoke.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">I’m going to need alcohol, gauze, ointment, and medical tape as soon as we get to a safe place</span>,” he said. Ben nodded.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">We’re already ten steps ahead, Edward</span>,” he replied. Eddie nodded back and then turned to face Richie again who was blinking slowly at him. It was apparent that his eyes had never left Eddie once, and that made Eddie blush violently.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Are you stupid? Why would you do something like that? That man could’ve killed you</span>,” Eddie scolded. Richie gave a thin smile. It wasn’t like all the other smiles he had given Eddie. This one was more strained.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">He was going to kill you first. I couldn’t let that happen</span>,” Richie replied.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">That’s no excuse! The goal was to get you out alive!</span>“ Eddie shouted.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">What’s going on? Why are we shouting in Russian?</span>“ Beverly barked from the front.</p>
<p>“Edward was just worried about Richie. Don’t mind it,” Ben assured her while Eddie continued yelling at Richie.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">I didn’t risk my life just for you to be so reckless with yours! If you had died I don’t know what I’d do!</span>“ Eddie continued. Richie’s tight smile gently turned into one of his more familiar smiles, and Eddie only realized he was crying when Richie reached up with his good arm and thumbed the tears away.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">You think I wasn’t thinking the same thing? </span>Eddie, I’d be so fucked up if you died back there. <span class="u">I couldn’t let him hurt you</span>,” Richie cooed as he cupped Eddie’s face and stroked more tears away.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">You are such a stupid American! No one would ever do that for me! You’re such a dumbass!</span>“ Eddie was closer to sobbing rather than talking. Richie merely chuckled and pulled Eddie’s head down until their foreheads touched.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">You kept me alive in there</span>, Eds. <span class="u">I’ll keep you alive from now on</span>,” he whispered. With that he tilted his head up and kissed Eddie square on the lips.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. 009</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>     Eddie didn’t know a thing that was being said. They had stopped at a random field and swapped cars before driving to their current location. He was silent as he patched Richie up and struggled to breath normally with the agent’s shirt discarded so he could work more precisely. They never stopped talking, and the fact that they only bothered to speak in English told Eddie that they either weren’t talking about him or they were talking about what to do with him. Surely Ben’s promise for a better life was all fictitious, and he’d have to spend the rest of his life in an American prison to make up for his wrong doings. Although it didn’t feel wrong making sure hundreds of prisoners, agents or not, didn’t die in the process of being tortured. One could always argue that he should’ve put them out of their misery, but Eddie didn’t even want that job in the first place.</p>
<p>     Things calmed down once Eddie got Richie’s wound cleaned and bandaged. It didn’t require any stitches, but it was definitely going to leave a mark. He let his eyes linger on the bandage and only briefly took in the toned skin of Richie’s arm. He wasn’t a beefcake, but he had a decent amount of muscle. Eddie let his fingers ghost down the bicep and remembered how Richie’s lips felt against his own. How his body flashed with a wave of intense heat that he couldn’t figure out if it was from the emotion or the embarrassment. Eddie would never kiss a man…right?</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Doctor Kaspbrak, how is it?</span>“ the woman, Beverly, asked. Eddie looked up from Richie’s arm and realized all of the agents were looking at him.</p>
<p>“…<span class="u">it will leave a scar, but he’ll be okay. It didn’t take out much of his muscle tissue, so his motion shouldn’t be affected</span>,” he told them. Richie smiled and touched Eddie’s knee. The doctor felt his chest tighten, and he looked away blushing.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Edward, we are</span>—“</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Please, call me</span>…Eddie,” he murmured. Ben nodded and smiled.</p>
<p>“Eddie…<span class="u">we are so grateful for your help. We wouldn’t have been able to find Richie and get him out without you</span>,” Ben said. Eddie nodded and spared a look at Richie who seemed more than pleased to be outside of that prison. He was then surprised to feel a warm pair of lips against his cheek, and looked up at Beverly with Owlish eyes.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Thank you, so much, Eddie. You have no idea how happy we are to have Richie back with us</span>,” she said. Eddie nodded, and Richie chuckled. He shot a glare to him, and Richie leaned over to kiss his cheek too. His face was bright red, and he tried to ignore how much he craved to feel Richie’s lips again.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">I…I was just</span>…“ Eddie didn’t know what to say, and thankfully he didn’t need to finish his thought.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">I’ve spoken to my boss about what is going to happen after this, and I think you’ll enjoy it</span>,” Ben told him. Eddie’s eyes shot up to Ben, wide and eager to hear what he had to say. Richie laughed.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">You are just the cutest</span>,” he said and used his good hand to pinch his cheek. Eddie didn’t hesitate to smack it away and glare at Richie again, but he was only met with more laughter and the hand returning to his knee.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Anyways…you’ll be able to live in America for asylum, but you’ll have to learn English and be able to blend into American society. You can keep your name as long as you stay inconspicuous. Stay out of the news, don’t use that name online. Just lay low</span>,” Ben told him. Eddie felt himself deflate. That was the best news he could possibly hear from Ben, and he felt his anxiety drain him.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Thank you Doct</span>…Agent Hanscom…<span class="u">I’m very grateful for this opportunity</span>,” Eddie replied. Ben nodded.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Richie will need to be off the field for the next six months. It’s customary for agents who have been captured or interrogated or tortured. In this case all three happened. He will be in charge of teaching you English while he recovers, and</span>—“</p>
<p>“No,” Eddie said instantly. All the agents blinked at him, and Richie chuckled. “I…can’t…<span class="u">I can’t work with Richie</span>,” he added.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">I told you guys. We’ve been through to much together! He’s in love with me now</span>,” Richie said. Eddie pushed off his hand and glared at him some more.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">You disgusting pervert! For the last time, I am not sick and twisted like you!</span>“ Eddie barked. Richie merely laughed, but everyone else seemed bothered by Eddie’s words.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Eddie, that’s not appropriate to say</span>,” Ben said. Eddie opened his mouth to speak, but Richie beat him to it.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">He’s just being defensive. Don’t worry, he doesn’t mean a word of it</span>—“</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Yes, I do</span>—“</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Anyways, we really are a little too close to have that kind of dynamic. I think Beverly should teach him</span>,” Richie told them. Beverly lit up at that.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Me? But I’m not as fluent as you are</span>,” she said. Richie rolled his eyes.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Just because I’m the best doesn’t mean you can’t do it</span>, Bevvy,” he replied. It was her turn to roll her eyes and shake her head smiling.</p>
<p>“I missed you, Trashmouth,” she said in English. Richie smiled back.</p>
<p>“I missed you too, Miss Marsh,” he replied. Eddie felt a burning in his stomach, and pushed himself away from Richie. He didn’t make it far before Richie pulled him closer again. His cheeks heated up, and he couldn’t deny that he enjoyed the return of Richie’s hand curled over his knee.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">We’ll settle the details later, but for now we need to get out of here and back to the states. It’s too dangerous to stay any longer</span>,” Ben announced. Eddie nodded in agreement.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">There are probably hundreds of agents out looking for us right now. They are quick</span>,” Eddie told them.</p>
<p>“Let’s get to the car then. Bill just texted the location of the jet,” Mike said standing up from the table he was sat at. </p>
<p>     The team nodded, and instantly started packing up the room. Eddie started cleaning up the medical supplies, but Richie quickly stopped him and pulled him to the side with him. He tried to resist and continue helping, but Richie told him to relax and Eddie couldn’t think of anything else to do. The adrenaline in his body was finally burning off inside him, and the exhaustion was taking over. He even allowed himself to lean ever so slightly against Richie’s shoulder as fingers ran through his hair.</p>
<p>     It wasn’t long before they returned to the car, and drove off to the nearest airport. All they had to do was show Ben’s badge and they were lead to the private jet Bill had sent out hours prior. The jet had been waiting there for them to finish their mission, and they gratefully boarded it together.</p>
<p>     Eddie had never seen an airplane that looked so nice. He’s never even been on an airplane before. At least, he has no memory of it, but he understood the concept and had seen pictures. One of his greatest fears was being forced onto a plane and then crashing into the endless blue ocean. Never in a million years did he imagine he’d even half willingly board a plane, much less be thankful for one, yet there he was. He was huddled in a blanket Richie wrapped around him, and he hovered over the cup of hot coffee Ben had given him. Richie was sat next to him rubbing his back, and Eddie stared at the black liquid in front of him biting his lip. He wanted to drink it, but he couldn’t get the taste of Richie’s lips out of his mouth. A part of him didn’t want to.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Are you okay? Have you even ridden in a plane before?</span>“ Beverly asked. Eddie looked up and saw her sitting across from him with one of her hands on his knee. While Richie didn’t feel the need to ask out of assumption, Beverly knew absolutely nothing about Eddie. He shook his head and then handed his coffee to Richie who took a sip.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">I was…I was taken in Spain from my mother when I was young. They might’ve flown me to Russia, but if they did I have no memory of it. They drove me to Paris after I turned twenty one and I’ve been working there ever since</span>,” Eddie explained.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">How old are you now?</span>“ Bev asked.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Twenty five. I’m turning twenty six in a few months</span>,” he answered. Richie smirked at that and handed him the coffee. Eddie pulled a disgusted face at the idea of sharing a cup, but took it anyways. He kind of wanted to. It touched his lips just like Eddie did.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Figures I’d fall for a younger man. I have a soft spot for cute faces</span>,” Richie teased and pinched his cheek again. Eddie slapped him again, but it was more half-assed this time. Richie caught it instead and chuckled before leaning his head against Eddie’s shoulder. They were both dead tired.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">He’s just a playful guy. Don’t worry too much about it</span>,” Beverly assured Eddie. He nodded and then took a sip of the coffee without thinking. “<span class="u">I also wanted to say that…however we decide to go about this, I’d be honored to teach you English instead of Richie. I think you’ll be a lot happier in the states with us</span>,” Beverly told him. Eddie smiled at that and nodded.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Thank you…I look forward to learning. They never allowed me to speak anything but Russian. If I ever knew Spanish, it is long forgotten</span>,” Eddie replied.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">I know you don’t like him…but Richie is very fluent in Spanish. If you ever want to learn it again he’d be willing to help you out</span>,” Beverly said. Eddie bit his lip and looked over at Richie to find him passed out against his shoulder still holding his hand. His body leaning against his with a nice weight and warm heat that Eddie enjoyed a little too much.</p>
<p>“…<span class="u">I’ll think about it</span>…”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. 010</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>     There was nothing more satisfying than coming home and seeing a smile spread across Bill’s face. That always meant that the mission was a success, and Bill wouldn’t bitch them out. Getting off the plane was a rush in itself. After spending close to over half a year in France Richie was happy to be back home. Bill’s approval and smile was just the icing on top. Richie gently squeezed Eddie’s hand as they touched solid ground before running off and giving Bill a solid love tap before they tackled each other in a hug.</p><p>“How’s it going Big Bill!” Richie laughed.</p><p>“I-I sure am f-fucking glad to see you, T-T-Tozier,” Bill replied with a grin of his own. Richie pulled back and poked his finger into Bill’s chest.</p><p>“You <em>knew </em>that was a fucking set up, you fucking asshole!” He said despite his smile. They laughed together, and Bill nodded.</p><p>“I-I had a suspicion. I knew that, out of all of y-y-you, you would be the best guy to send in there,” Bill said.</p><p>“I’d say I’m flattered but that was pretty fucking awful, dude,” Richie replied.</p><p>“Good. Don’t let him off easy,” Stan said coming up behind him.</p><p>“Stan the man! I knew that glorious brain of yours could do it!” Richie cheered and hugged Stan next. Stan hugged him back and even smiled as Richie pulled back. “I don’t plan on it. I’m getting a pretty good vacation. Right Bill?” Bill nodded.</p><p>“A-as long as you need, Rich. We w-wouldn’t have gotten this info without you,” Bill confirmed. Bev, Mike, Ben, and Eddie all finally caught up to Richie, and Eddie looked up at Bill with shy eyes. Richie was quick to return his arm over the Doctor’s shoulders and smile at Bill with him.</p><p>“Bill, this is Doctor Eddie Kaspbrak. This is the man responsible for keeping me alive and saving my life,” Richie introduced. Eddie looked lost, not understanding half of what Richie said, but Bill seemed to miss that.</p><p>“We are very grateful for what you’ve done, Doctor Kaspbrak. Please, anything you want or need we are more than willing to provide for you,” Bill said. Richie then turned to translate what he said into Russian, and Eddie nodded in understanding before responding in Russian.</p><p>“He say’s thank you very much and all he asks for is a normal life here in the states,” Richie repeated. Bill furrowed his brows and nodded.</p><p>“Well, first things first is that he must, of course, be fluent in English. We will take care of all the documents and help you with housing and a job if you’d like, but that can only happen when you can blend into American society. It’s that or we put you in a safe house for the rest of your life and have an agent stationed with you until you can be independent,” Bill explained. Richie sighed.</p><p>“Fuck, man. That’s so much to translate,” he said before turning to Eddie again. He translated everything and took his time to explain everything thoroughly for Eddie to understand, and, once he gave his little nod and replied, Richie then turned back to Bill.</p><p>“He’d like to live somewhere remote and away from a lot of people. He also wants to learn how to drive, and he’d like Beverly to teach him English,” Richie translated. Bill frowned at that, and looked over at Stan. Unfortunately Stan was busy speaking with Mike, so he instead focused on Beverly.</p><p>“Richie says they’re too close to have a teacher student dynamic. I’m fluent, so I should be able to teach him,” Beverly said.</p><p>“But R-Richie is <em>more</em> fluent,” Bill replied.</p><p>“It’s not really negotiable,” Richie interjected.</p><p>“You’re asking me to t-take two of my m-most exceptional agents out of the f-f-field?” Bill asked.</p><p>“To be fair, Bill…I think this whole team deserves a break after a mission like that. It wasn’t the worst, but it definitely took a toll on everyone,” Ben added. Bill sighed.</p><p>“I’ll see what I c-can do…in the meantime, Eddie is going to h-have to st-stay with one of you. E-Even after we find him someplace, it’ll have to be s-somewhat close to one of you so we c-c-can keep tabs on him,” Bill replied. Richie raised his hand, and hissed when he remembered it was the one with a fresh bullet wound in it.</p><p>“I have a cabin somewhere in Washington. Eddie can stay there with me, and it’s big enough that Beverly can room with us while she teaches him,” he offered. Bill nodded.</p><p>“That’s a gr-great start. Keep him there, and w-we’ll look for his own place nearby,” he said.</p><p>“<span class="u">Did you get any of that?</span>“ Richie asked Eddie. He shook his head blinking up at Richie with those big brown eyes of his. “<span class="u">I have a cabin northwest of here. You can stay there until we find you a permanent home. Bev is going to teach you there too</span>,” he explained. Eddie looked conflicted and bit his lip.</p><p>“<span class="u">It’s…only temporary?</span>“ Eddie asked. Richie laughed.</p><p>“<span class="u">I know! So cruel! They can’t keep us apart forever, though</span>,” he teased and pulled Eddie closer by his waist. The doctor turned bright red and weakly pushed at Richie’s chest.</p><p>“<span class="u">You awful disgusting diseased man! I’m sick and tired of your shitty flirting! Don’t fucking touch me, fucking homo!</span>“ Eddie rambled, but his words had no punch to them. Beverly chuckled as she began to see what Richie was saying back in the hotel room in Paris.</p><p>“I have no c-clue what’s happening,” Bill said.</p><p>“Richie is flirting with Eddie, but Eddie doesn’t like it,” Beverly explained. It didn’t take long for the doctor to stop fighting Richie and instead slump against him. They were both too tired to try and do more than rest.</p><p>“We should get going as soon as possible. We’re both pretty tired and jet lagged, and I’d love to sleep in a bed,” Richie said. Bill nodded and pointed back to the jet.</p><p>“Go ahead and t-take Bev and Eddie back to W-W-Washington, and I’ll make sure there’s a c-car to pick you up at the airport o-once you land. Call me once you get there s-s-safely,” he instructed. Richie nodded.</p><p>“Sounds good, boss,” he said and guided Eddie back to the plane. Beverly followed them and helped them up the plane steps. Ben rushes after and gave Beverly a kiss goodbye before returning to Bill, and waved goodbye as the plane started preparing to lift off again.</p><p>“I need to report back to my original boss. Thanks for contacting me. This was fun,” Ben said patting Bill’s shoulder. Bill nodded and smiled.</p><p>“S-sounds good. Thanks for your h-help, Hanscom,” Bill said. </p><p>     Ben nodded and pulled out his phone as he left Bill alone with Stan and Mike. He looked at the two other men and sighed when he noticed Stan holding back a grin. He stepped closer, and Mike looked pleased to see him as well. He smiled at both of them and licked his lips before speaking.</p><p>“So…I g-guess we have some t-t-talking to do.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>     It was going to be another couple hours or so in the air before they landed in Washington, so Richie encouraged Eddie to sleep. The doctor was much too tired to protest, and Richie’s arms were much too warm for him to try and get up and sleep somewhere else. Richie’s smile was ever present as he held the smaller man against his chest, and he even let his own eyes rest from time to time. Beverly watched them, her eyes feeling heavy as well, and smiled at how peaceful they looked together.</p><p>“I wish he didn’t say such terrible things to you. He seems to like you a lot, but he just won’t say it,” Beverly murmured about an hour into their flight. Richie yawned and shrugged as subtly as possible so he wouldn’t disturb Eddie.</p><p>“He’s got his own demons he’s facing. He hasn’t told me a lot, but they definitely put him through conversion therapy. Kidnapped him and groomed him to be a fucking commie doctor. He didn’t want any of it, but you know Russians. Propaganda and brainwashing,” Richie replied.</p><p>“Hopefully we can get him some help. It’s upsetting to watch him force himself not to like you,” Beverly said. Richie chuckled and nodded.</p><p>“Yeah…we can definitely do that. He’s safe with us,” Richie cooed and leaned down to kiss Eddie’s forehead. The doctor merely hummed and nuzzled closer to Richie’s neck. Beverly smiled wider at that and shook her head.</p><p>“I can’t believe you brought home a new boyfriend. Like, he’s totally adorable, but fucking Christ, Rich,” she teased.</p><p>“Hey, from what I’ve heard, this is all <em>your </em>man’s fault. I owe him big time, but you can blame agent handsome for this glorious gift,” Richie replied. Beverly giggled.</p><p>“I guess that’s right.”</p><p>“We really need to be careful what we say around him after he starts learning English, because I can guarantee if he was awake and could understand us, he’d kick our asses,” Richie said. Beverly nodded in agreement.</p><p>“Oh yeah. That one’s a fire cracker. Better get it out now before he becomes fluent,” she agreed. Richie chuckled and nodded. Eddie then pawed at the new clean shirt covering his chest, and mumbled something in Russian.</p><p>“Fuck, I didn’t catch that,” Bev said. Richie smiled.</p><p>“He just said something like shut the fuck up,” he told her as he pulled the blanket closer over Eddie’s shoulder. “Why don’t you go ahead and take a nap? I’ll let you know when we land,” Richie suggested. Beverly closed her eyes and sighed before nodding.</p><p>“Okay…yeah that sounds good…thanks, Richie.”</p><p>“No problem, Miss Marsh. Sleep tight.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. 011</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>     When Eddie woke up he was in a bed he’s never been in before. He opened his eyes and saw a room he’s never seen before, and looked out the window to see a scene he could never imagine before. The forest outside his window was deep and lush, and the fog made it look magical. His eyes took it all in, and then he looked back to the room. It was spacious and definitely American. There was no way he could be in Russia let alone Paris, and if he tried to remember where he was the only thing he could think of was falling asleep in Richie’s arms.</p><p>     He blushed and covered his mouth as he remembered the kiss Richie had given him in the van. His stomach burned thinking about it, and his heart hammered in his chest as he went through all the times Richie had touched him ever since they broke out. Their skin seemed to fit together so nicely, and his touch was always so warm and inviting. Why was it so hard to resist him? Why did he want to see him and be with him all the time?</p><p>     With no one in sight, Eddie decided to explore. He got out of bed and looked through the dresser. All the clothes were at least one or two sizes too big, but he didn’t see much else at his disposal. He grabbed a nice looking sweater and a pair of sweatpants and socks before walking into what he assumed was the bathroom. Sure enough he was greeted with a shower, toilet, and a very nice granite counter with a sink and mirror. Shelves surrounded the mirror, and there was a bar of soap still in its wrapper on a small plate next to the fat faucet. He put the clothes he planned to wear on the counter and moved to the shower.</p><p>     Thankfully he had all the soaps that he needed, and was able to clean his body of all the dirt and grime from traveling and sweating so much. The added stress from sneaking Richie out definitely didn’t help, and he was eager to feel clean again. He dried himself with one of the various towels hanging in the bathroom, and then moved to dress himself. He looked at himself in the mirror, and noticed a jar of unopened tooth brushes on one of the shelves. He grabbed it eagerly and then found a small tube of tooth paste with it. He brushed his teeth, and instantly felt complete.</p><p>“Eddie?” A familiar voice called. Eddie rinsed his mouth once more, and then walked over to the door the voice came from. He cracked it open and peeked out to see Beverly standing outside it.</p><p>“…<span class="u">What time is it?</span>“ Eddie asked.</p><p>“<span class="u">It’s almost one o clock. Are you hungry?</span>“ she replied. Eddie thought for a moment and opened the door a little.</p><p>“<span class="u">Where is Richie?</span>“ he said ignoring her own question.</p><p>“<span class="u">He’s still asleep. He should be awake soon though. Do you want to see him?</span>” She asked. Eddie quickly shook his head despite that anxious urge he’s had since he woke up to see him.</p><p>“<span class="u">No…um…I think food would be a good idea</span>,” Eddie said, finally addressing Beverly’s first question. She nodded and smiled.</p><p>“<span class="u">Okay. Richie still hasn’t done much to settle in here, so groceries are scarce. I was going to go pick up some take out since they don’t order out this far away from town. Are you okay here, or should I take you with me?</span>“ </p><p>“<span class="u">I’ll be okay here…I think</span>…” he murmured. Bev held back a little giggle and nodded.</p><p>“<span class="u">Okay. I left my number on the counter. Feel free to call on the land line if you have any troubles before Richie wakes up</span>,” she instructed. Eddie nodded and looked past her down the hallway.</p><p>“<span class="u">Come. I’ll take you to the kitchen and living room</span>,” she said and offered her hand. </p><p>     Eddie hesitated before taking it, and then followed her down the hall and down the stairs. She showed him the counter with the phone and her number written out, and then gave him a brief explanation of the Television controls. Once he was settled watching a movie, Beverly said goodbye and disappeared down another hallway. He tried to pay attention to the movie for about five minutes, but it was all in English so he didn’t understand much. Instead he ended up falling asleep again on the couch about twenty minutes in. When he woke up again he felt a weight against him that he didn’t remember feeling when he fell asleep.</p><p>     Wrapped around his waist was a pale arm, and he could feel soft curls move against his nape. His heart clenched as long fingers stroked over his thin tan ones, but was too tired to slap them away. Instead he shivered, but that only prompted Richie to snuggle closer to him and try to warm him up. Eddie sighed, and was about to fall asleep again, but was startled by the sound of keys hitting the counter. He shot up and looked over to see Beverly setting a bag of Chinese food on the counter, and took a deep breath to settle his heart rate. Richie tried to pull him back down, but Eddie somehow found the strength to pull away and stand up even though he was shivering even more without Richie’s warmth.</p><p>“<span class="u">Have a good nap?</span>“ Beverly asked. Eddie nodded and smiled as he rubbed his arms and watched her unpack the food. It wasn’t long before he felt a blanket around his shoulders and looked up at Richie. The agent smiled at him, and Eddie blushed as he tugged the blanket closer over his shoulders.</p><p>“<span class="u">Thank you</span>,” he breathed, his voice scratchy from sleeping for so long.</p><p>“<span class="u">No problem. I hope you don’t mind, you were shaking a little, so I tried to warm you up</span>,” Richie said. Eddie’s throat felt tight and he merely nodded.</p><p>“<span class="u">That’s okay</span>…“ he murmured. Richie rubbed his back, and he couldn’t deny he enjoyed the warmth. His body was so drained after all the excitement, and it just felt good to receive comfort.</p><p>“Damn, Bevvy, you really came through with the grub,” Richie said as he picked up the nearest carton of food and picked out a piece of chicken.</p><p>“Yeah, we definitely need to go grocery shopping once you guys are adjusted,” Beverly said and turned to the cabinet.</p><p>“We can go tomorrow,” Richie said and accepted the plate Bev handed him. He then handed it to Eddie and took the next one for himself.</p><p>“Do you even know when tomorrow is, Rich?” Bev asked and started serving herself. Eddie looked at the food in front of them, and shyly picked his own food out too.</p><p>“Tomorrow is tomorrow,” Richie replied.</p><p>“Honey…<span class="u">you two slept for two days straight</span>,” Beverly told them in Russian so Eddie could understand. Eddie fumbled with his noodles and looked at her with wide eyes.</p><p>“<span class="u">Two days?</span>“ he asked incredulously.</p><p>“<span class="u">Damn, only two? I’ve slept for five after really intense missions</span>,” Richie said nonchalantly. Beverly rolled her eyes.</p><p>“<span class="u">If you want to go grocery shopping tomorrow, then I’m driving and I’m not carrying you two back in if you fall asleep on the way home</span>,” she said. Richie slowly slurped a noddle and kept his lips pursed.</p><p>“Maybe I should just give you a list of things I want and let you take care of it…” he said guiltily. Beverly chuckled and nodded.</p><p>“I think that’s good. <span class="u">Eddie, you should put together a list of food you want too. If you’re feeling up to it you can come with me, but don’t feel like you need to. It’s important to rest after going through something like you did</span>,” Beverly told him. Eddie nodded and glanced at Richie.</p><p>“<span class="u">I think I might want to come…I’ve never been to a grocery store before</span>,” he confessed. Richie’s jaw dropped and put a hand over his heart.</p><p>“Bevvy, now I <em>have</em> to go. Can you imagine how cute he’ll be experiencing a grocery store for the first time? I can’t miss that,” Richie said.</p><p>“Then stay awake and I’ll let you go,” Beverly replied simply.</p><p>“<span class="u">I heard the word</span> cute. <span class="u">Don’t fucking call me cute</span>,” Eddie grumbled and walked away with his plate fully loaded with food. Beverly chuckled and Richie sighed dreamily.</p><p>“He’s the man of my dreams, Bevvy,” he said before following and joining Eddie on the couch. </p><p>     Despite his apparent distaste for Richie, he didn’t protest to the physical affection Richie gave him. Blame it on how cold he was, but Richie could see the blush on his cheeks whenever they touched. It was cute, and it always reassured Richie that he wasn’t the only one who wanted this. Eddie had his problems, but he was definitely softer now that he was taken out of that horrible environment. His words had less bite, and his eyes were gentle as they took Richie in. Richie only hoped it would get better over time, and he hoped that Eddie would finally feel comfortable and allow himself to live.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. 012</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In this chapter we find why Richie shouldn’t be Eddie’s tutor ever</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>“Eddie?” Beverly called from the laundry room. Eddie walked in and spotted her folding her clothes on top of the dryer.</p>
<p>“Yes?” He replied. She had been teaching him English for about a month now, and while he had more than the basics down he still had a heavy accent.</p>
<p>“Can you take Richie’s clothes to his room? You can just leave them outside his door,” she instructed pointing over to the multicolored mess stuffed into a basket. Eddie nodded and walked over to pick it up.</p>
<p>“Yes, I will do that,” he replied.</p>
<p>“Thank you. Also, we should probably go grocery shopping again soon. Do you know that word? Grocery?” She asked. Eddie nodded.</p>
<p>“Yes, like food that we put in the fridge and the cabinet boxes,” Eddie replied.</p>
<p>“They’re just called cabinets, sweetie, and we put it in the pantry,” she replied and continued her folding.</p>
<p>“What’s the difference?”</p>
<p>“Nothing. It’s just a different word. It’s one of those stupid English things,” she replied. Eddie nodded.</p>
<p>“Okay…”</p>
<p>“Anyways, do you want to come with me? You can pick out ingredients and do a recipe you want to try,” she suggested. Eddie nodded.</p>
<p>“Yes, that sounds good,” he replied. Beverly smiled and nodded. He still sounded a little robotic, but he was making good progress.</p>
<p>“Okay. Go ahead and ask Richie if he wants to come too,” she said. Eddie nodded again and turned to walk out of the laundry room.</p>
<p>     All of their bedrooms were on the second story of the cabin. It was less of a cabin and more like a mansion in the middle of no where. The laundry room was in the basement, and the main floor had the kitchen, living room, and entertainment room. After the second floor was the attic. That itself could double as another bed room with its own attic, but Richie didn’t need it as a room, so he just used it as an attic with another attic. </p>
<p>     There were five bedrooms across the whole second floor, and each had its own bathroom as well as a separate bathroom at the end of the hall. Richie’s was the master bedroom, and it was two doors down from Eddie’s. Beverly’s was on the other side of the floor, and the extra rooms were the same condition as Eddie’s when he first woke up. Apparently Richie had a housekeeper that kept the house presentable, but Eddie hadn’t seen them yet.</p>
<p>     He approached Richie’s room, and stopped outside his door. There was a slight urge to knock on the door, but his hands felt sweaty when he considered it. He set down the basket next to the door, and turned his heel fast. Before he could reach the stairs, he could hear the door open and he froze.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Ah, there is a present at my door</span>,” Richie said.</p>
<p>     Despite Beverly asking them not to speak Russian anymore, Richie still did when it was just the two of them. Eddie tried to ignore how happy it made him not to use his brain so hard to decode every single word. He turned to face Richie again, and was surprised to see him shirtless and absentmindedly rubbing the end of his towel against his wet hair.</p>
<p>“You…you know we should only be speaking English,” Eddie stammered trying to look anywhere except for Richie’s bare chest. Richie chuckled and came closer to take Eddie’s hand and press a kiss to the back of it. Eddie was quick to pull it away and rub it off on the front of his sweater. “Don’t be gross.”</p>
<p>“Me? Gross? Never,” Richie smirked and gently nudged Eddie’s chin. Eddie blushed and glared at him. “<span class="u">Let me put a shirt on and we can watch some classic American movies</span>,” he said turning back to the basket left at his door.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">What</span>…What are we watching this time?” He asked. Richie picked out a sweater with a horrible pattern on it and pulled it on. It got caught on his glasses, but he quickly fixed them back into place. Eddie wasn’t quite used to seeing his glasses. They got lost sometime during his interrogations, and he couldn’t decide if he liked him with or without them more.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">You’re going to like this one. It’s called</span> Grosse Pointe Blank. <span class="u">It’s filled with these play on words, and I can explain all the jokes to you</span>,” Richie replied. Eddie looked away when he realized he was staring, and sighed. Richie liked movies with complicated jokes, and he liked it purely for the fact that he had to explain them all for Eddie to get it. Eddie learned a lot from them, but it drove Beverly crazy.</p>
<p>“I better not be hearing Russian right now,” Beverly sang as she carried her own basket upstairs.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Of course not. Why would we be speaking Russian?</span>“ Richie asked. Beverly rolled her eyes and pushed his shoulder as she walked past him to her room.</p>
<p>“You’re too easy on him. He’s never gonna learn with you babying him like this,” she said opening the door and leaving it that way as she set her basket down in her room.</p>
<p>“I’m telling you! I’d make a terrible teacher. I like him too much,” Richie replied, finally switching to English. Eddie blushed at that and shook his head.</p>
<p>“That’s obvious,” Beverly replied stepping out of her room.</p>
<p>“Grosse Pointe Blank. You in?” He asked. Beverly closed her eyes and sighed.</p>
<p>“If I have to spend another five hours watching a two hour movie just so you can explain complex puns to someone who isn’t fluent in English…I’m going to shoot myself,” she replied. Richie chuckled.</p>
<p>“Alright, but if you hear Russian, I’m just translating,” Richie assured her. She nodded and rubbed her eyes.</p>
<p>“Yeah, sure. We’re going grocery shopping again tomorrow by the way. I dunno if you stopped talking long enough for Eddie to tell you, but that’s on the schedule,” she told him. Richie nodded and gave her a thumbs up.</p>
<p>“Go take a nap or something. You guys always study super hard in the mornings. You deserve a break. I’ll wake you up for dinner,” Richie said softly. </p>
<p>     Eddie felt his stomach curl whenever Richie regarded Beverly with even a fraction of the softness he treated Eddie with. He refused to acknowledge it as jealousy. It wasn’t that he wanted Richie all to himself…right? He knew he wasn’t attracted to Beverly in that way, and she had a partner too so it wasn’t even an option. No, instead he just let this feeling fester and grow without naming it. He didn’t like it, and often felt the need to pull himself away more from Richie whenever it came up again. Of course Richie would just pull him right back, and the feeling was instantly appeased. That was probably the most confusing part.</p>
<p>“Okay. Thanks, Rich. A nap does sound good,” she hummed and turned back to her room.</p>
<p>“Sweet dreams!” He called as she shut the door. Eddie didn’t realize he was pouting until Richie nudged his chin up again. “<span class="u">Don’t look so down, sweetheart, you have all my attention now</span>,” he purred. Eddie turned bright red and glared at him harder.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">You’re fucking disgusting</span>,” Eddie sneered.</p>
<p>“No Russian!” Beverly called through her door. </p>
<p>     Richie merely laughed, but Eddie shook his head and headed downstairs to put some distance between them. Unfortunately Richie caught up to him rather quickly, and they settled closer to each other on the couch than they needed to. Eddie was reluctant to allow Richie into his space, but every time he tried to sit as far away from him they’d just end up even closer by the time they got to the middle of the movie. Richie put the movie on, and put the Russian subtitles on since it used some pretty advanced language. He then moved to his kitchen and popped some popcorn as Eddie watched the beginning of the movie. Once Richie returned Eddie was shivering.</p>
<p>“Damn, you get cold quick,” Richie muttered and set the bowl down on the coffee table. </p>
<p>     Eddie tried to contain his shivering, but that only made him vibrate instead. Richie grabbed another blanket and sat down as close to Eddie as possible before wrapping him up in a blanket covered hug. It was always surprising how warm Richie was, but in these moments Eddie couldn’t complain. The invasion of his personal space was worth the warmth and the comforting feeling of Richie’s chest breathing under Eddie’s cheek.</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Why don’t you have a good heater?</span>” Eddie murmured.</p>
<p>“English, baby!” Richie reminded obnoxiously. Eddie rolled his eyes and pinched his side. Richie yelped and then laughed before hugging Eddie even closer against him.</p>
<p>“Oof…let me go,” Eddie croaked. Richie let up and kissed the top of his head. Eddie hated that the most, but there was no way to get him to stop. Every time he did it Eddie was reminded of the time Richie kissed his lips. Then he couldn’t stop thinking about doing it again, and he hated himself for that.</p>
<p>“The heat is on, it’s just a very open area. Plus it’s getting close to winter time, and we’re up pretty north. Good thing is you’ve got your own personal heater right here,” Richie said snuggling closer to him for emphasis. Eddie rolled his eyes.</p>
<p>“I would prefer a less annoying heater.”</p>
<p>“Aw, but you love it, Eds! I can tell by the way you blush,” Richie cooed and pinched his cheek. Eddie reached to smack his hand away, and succeeded only for Richie to catch his hand and hold it. He caught it every single time, and Eddie was worried he was starting to count on him to.</p>
<p>“I can’t…I can’t control…the blush,” Eddie stammered as Richie rubbed his thumb against the back of Eddie’s hand. He looked down at their fingers to avoid the look he knew Richie was giving him, but he knew it was inevitable.</p>
<p>“I like that, y’know? It’s probably the most honest thing you say to me,” Richie hummed. Eddie knew he was closer, but he still looked up despite screaming at himself not to. Richie was still smiling at him, but it was one of his softer smiles. Eddie liked those smiles. They made his heart flutter.</p>
<p>“I’m honest with you,” Eddie spoke quieter than usual. With Richie he was usually shouting from how often he teased him, but every so often Richie managed to get him almost silent when he spoke.</p>
<p>“You’re kinda honest,” Richie replied. Eddie couldn’t help but watch his smile turn into a smirk, and tried to look back at his eyes but failed miserably. Richie took his free hand from around Eddie’s shoulders and tilted his chin up closer.</p>
<p>“I am honest. I told you about my mother…my time in Russia and Paris—“</p>
<p>“<span class="u">Yes, but you’re never <em>this </em>honest</span>,” Richie whispered as he leaned down closer.</p>
<p>     Eddie’s breath stuttered, and his body felt hot at the idea of Richie kissing him again. It had been so long, but he could remember how it felt clear as day. His face must’ve been bright red. It felt hot for sure, and his hand would’ve been trembling if Richie didn’t have it secured in his. The fingers on his chin gently moved against his jaw, and it felt open as if on command. He then touched Eddie’s neck, and thumbed his lobe, and Eddie was suddenly assaulted with the thousands of images and fantasies he had locked away in his subconscious.</p>
<p>     A lot of it was just Richie. Looking at him and just saying his name. Richie Richie <em>Richie</em>. His hair, his eyes, his lips. Then it was his body. The toned physique his job must’ve demanded, and the strength in his arms and legs. Little black hairs leading down past his pants that Eddie desperately wanted to see him without. Then it was him and Richie together. The soft slide of their lips together, and the gentle whispers of Richie’s voice in his ear that would undoubtedly make him tremble harder than the cold ever could. It was soft, and then it was hard. Their bodies colliding and melting together like Eddie so desired. Strong large hands grabbing and pulling on Eddie, and the feeling of Richie picking him up and kissing him senseless. It was a head trip to say the least.</p>
<p>     It was all so overwhelming, and he felt like he was about to burst. All these thoughts he fought so hard to keep at bay were ripping at his seams, and he had no idea why it was so hard to keep his composure. All Richie did was speak a little lower, touch him a little gentler, and suddenly he was a mess in his arms. The therapy didn’t work. He needed to go back.</p>
<p>“I…I need to go back,” he whispered breathlessly. Richie frowned and pulled away.</p>
<p>“Go back? Back where?” Richie asked.</p>
<p>     Eddie shook his head and scrambled to get out of his arms. He could feel Richie’s eyes on him as ran up the stairs, but he didn’t pay any attention as he rushed into Beverly’s room. She looked up with alarm when Eddie slammed the door open and stood there panting. She put down her book and came up to comfort him and rub his shoulders.</p>
<p>“Eddie? Are you okay? <span class="u">Do you need help?</span>“ she asked. Eddie nodded.</p>
<p>“I…I-I need a Doctor. A…A head doctor. <span class="u">Therapist! Therapist</span>,” he said trying to catch his breath. Beverly nodded and pulled her phone out of her pocket.</p>
<p>“I’m calling Bill.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. 013</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>     The minute Richie learned that Eddie was asking for a therapist, he knew it wasn’t good. The only time Eddie spoke of going to therapy was for conversion therapy. When he said he needed to go back to therapy, Richie knew he wouldn’t be getting what he was thinking of.</p><p>“Bill, we need to get him a therapist with experience undoing internalized homophobia,” Richie stressed over the phone.</p><p>“O-Okay, uh…any specific r-reason?” Bill asked. Richie sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.</p><p>“He’s not asking for a regular therapist, he’s asking for a conversion therapist,” Richie told him.</p><p>“A c-c-conversion therapist? What makes you th-think that? Th-those aren’t even l-legal there,” Bill said.</p><p>“I know, but it’s the only therapy he knows. When he was in Russian they put him through it, and he said he needs to go <em>back</em> to it. We really need a specialist here, Bill,” Richie explained.</p><p>“J-Jesus Christ, this guy has really been through a lot, h-hasn’t he?”</p><p>“He has, so make sure he’s taken care of. Okay, Bill?”</p><p>“I h-h-hear you loud and clear, T-Tozier. I’ve got him,” Bill assured him. Richie let out a deep breath and nodded.</p><p>“Thanks, Bill. I’ll talk to you soon,” he said.</p><p>“Sounds g-good. I’ll text you when we f-find someone and when they’ll c-c-come over.”</p><p>“Great. Thank you.”</p><p>“N-no problem. M-m-make sure you’re taking care of y-yourself too, okay?” Bill said. Richie smiled a little.</p><p>“Sure thing, Big Bill.”</p><p>     After that he left his room and jogged down the stairs to see Eddie and Beverly unloading the groceries they had spent all afternoon shopping for. Eddie adverted his gaze immediately and was suddenly very interested in the bag of apples in front of him, and Beverly was busy trying to throw the giant bag of off brand captain crunch on the top shelf of the pantry. She spotted him as it fell off again and back into her arms and smiled wide.</p><p>“Perfect timing! Get this fucking bag up in the fucking pantry,” she said sweetly. Richie laughed and walked over to help her. He could feel Eddie’s eyes lingering on him as he reach up to place the bag on the highest shelf, and looked back once he succeeded only for him to look away again even quicker. “Thank you, you oversized French baguette,” Beverly said.</p><p>“No problem, Bevvy,” he replied and rubbed her shoulder before turning and coming up next to Eddie. He leaned against the counter, and Eddie appeared to not know what to do with his fingers. Richie stayed silent until he looked over and their eyes contacted.</p><p>“Hey…”</p><p>“…Hey…”</p><p>     It was the first thing they had said to each other since Eddie ran away from him yesterday. He had been avoiding Richie pretty hard, and locked himself up in his room after he told Beverly he needed a therapist. He didn’t even show up for dinner, but Richie could hear him sneaking out of his room after they went to bed and feeding himself. Even though he didn’t like Eddie hiding out and potentially starving himself, he was glad that he eventually got around to feeding himself.</p><p>“I just spoke with Bill,” Richie announced. Eddie frowned.</p><p>“Beverly spoke with him yesterday,” he reminded him. Richie nodded.</p><p>“Yeah, but you haven’t told Beverly the things you’ve told me,” he reminded him. Eddie looked away with a little bit of shame. “The type of therapy you’re looking for is illegal in this state,” he told him. He looked back fast with wide unbelieving eyes.</p><p>“What?” He asked as if he was waiting for Richie to tease him again. Richie was nothing but serious as he took Eddie’s hand. He tried to pull away, but Richie kept his grip tight enough to convince him to stay. Eddie didn’t struggle any more.</p><p>“You’re not going back to conversion therapy, okay? Even if, for some crazy reason, I would <em>allow</em> that to fucking happen again, we couldn’t.“</p><p>“Then I don’t want it,” Eddie replied stubbornly. Richie clenched his jaw and met his glare.</p><p>“Eddie…do you really want to keep fighting something that’s natural?” Richie asked.</p><p>“This isn’t natural. It’s sick,” Eddie replied. Richie shook his head.</p><p>“No. Listen, Eds—“</p><p>“Don’t call me that! I don’t want the therapist! Call it off!” Eddie snapped. Beverly came up behind him and rubbed his shoulders reassuringly. Richie rubbed his thumb against his hand again, and Eddie’s eyes started to tear up.</p><p>“Eddie, this will be good for you. This person wants to help you,” Beverly assured him.</p><p>“No—“</p><p>“You’re suffering all the time. I can see it, Eds,” Richie whispered.</p><p>“<em>No! </em>You’re just trying to make me a filthy homosexual like you so you can have your way with me!” Eddie accused. Beverly’s jaw dropped, and she walked away to the other room. She couldn’t believe that Eddie, her <em>friend</em>, sweet and kind little Eddie, would say something like that.</p><p>“Eddie—“</p><p>“You think I’m a fucking homo like you! I’m <em>nothing</em> like you! You disgust me! You’re a filthy pervert!” Eddie insisted, his voice cracking through his sobs. Richie turned Eddie to face him, but Eddie merely tried to push him away.</p><p>“Eddie, listen to me!” Richie snapped as he grabbed the other man’s shoulders. Eddie gave halfhearted punches to Richie’s chest, and sobbed as he realized he was stuck. He then sobbed harder when he felt the urge to be held closer. “This isn’t you, okay? This is the /years/, the <em>decades</em> of abuse talking. I told you, Eddie, it’s my turn to keep you alive. You’re not fucking living with their words still stuck in your head!”</p><p>“I’m not…I-I can’t be—“</p><p>“Eds,” Richie breathed ever so softly and did what Eddie’s insides were screaming for him to do. He pulled him into a tight hug and stroked his hair as Eddie sobbed into Richie’s shoulder. “I can’t let you live like this, Eddie. I don’t care if you want to live your life with me or with someone else. I don’t care who you end up with as long as you’re <em>living</em>, Eds,” he continued his gentle voice and it made Eddie tremble.</p><p>“…Richie…”</p><p>“Bev and I are here for you, okay? We’re here to help you heal. It’s not going to be easy, but life isn’t easy. You’re a human being, Eddie. You’re not just a pawn at their disposal. You <em>mean</em> something to me. To Bev and Ben and Mike and Bill. Even Stan likes you. He said he’d like to talk to you more and even go bird watching up here sometime,” Richie cooed. Eddie held on to Richie impossibly tight, and Richie felt his sobs lead to sniffles.</p><p>“Eddie…” Beverly said as she came back. “Eddie, you’re so nice and sweet. You shouldn’t have been told such horrible things,” she whispered as she touched his back again. Eddie blinked at her from over Richie’s bicep, and felt another sob tug at his throat.</p><p>“I can’t…I…<span class="u">they told me it would go away…they said…all the thoughts…no matter how disgusting…i-if I just ignored them, they’d leave</span>,” Eddie explained.</p><p>“<span class="u">But they didn’t…did they?</span>” Beverly asked. Eddie shook his head.</p><p>“<span class="u">No…no, they didn’t</span>…” he confessed <span class="s1">quietly.</span></p><p>“<span class="u">That’s okay, Eddie. The therapist will help you accept yourself. You know now that these thoughts don’t really go away, right? That means they’re completely natural</span>,” Beverly explained gently. Eddie’s lip trembled as he reached for Beverly’s hand. Bev took it and squeezed it affectionately.</p><p>“<span class="u">Can you translate for me? When the therapist comes. Obviously, I can’t think straight enough for English when I get this emotional</span>,” Eddie requested. Beverly furrowed her brows, but nodded.</p><p>“<span class="u">Of course, but Richie is much more fluent. He’ll probably be better at explaining more abstract concepts like mental health</span>,” she explained. Eddie blushed furiously and shook his head as he tried to hide it in Richie’s chest.</p><p>“<span class="u">N…No, I…I-I</span>—“</p><p>“It would be best for you to do it, Bev,” Richie said. Bev looked at him with questioning eyes. “We’re too close, remember?” Richie reminded her. She then nodded and smiled back at Eddie.</p><p>“Okay…I’ll help you, Eddie. Whatever you need,” she said. Eddie sniffled one last time and squeezed her hand back.</p><p>“Thank you…”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. 014</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Just a disclaimer: I’m not a therapist this is just how I imagine the session would go based on my own knowledge of mental health and conversion therapy. I’m not claiming this is correct but y’know,,, I think it’s similar to how the session would realistically go.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry it’s been a while! I’ve been busy with work this weekend :(</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>     It didn’t take long for Bill to send the therapist over to Richie’s Cabin. She was born and raised in Washington, and drove all the way from Seattle. They settle in Eddie’s room. Eddie, the therapist, and Beverly started the session without Richie. It had been a decent couple of days since Eddie’s second outburst, and he had slowly been getting better and better everyday. He was still withdrawn and was obviously putting his distance between himself and Richie, but he wasn’t staying locked away starving himself. All Richie wanted was for him to be happy and healthy.</p><p>     The therapist’s name was Theresa. She was forty seven, and had been working with LGBT clients for her entire career. When Bill spoke to her over the phone she fit the criteria and Richie’s request to the T. At first she laughed at the short notice, but once Bill told her the price, she was willing to move her schedule around. Thankfully she didn’t have a lot of clients that day to begin with and all she had to move was a five thirty appointment.</p><p>“Okay…so, from what you and Mr. Denbrough has told me, you’re an asylum resident from Russia. You’ve been through…over five years of conversion therapy. You were stolen from your mother in Spain, and your mother was emotionally and verbally manipulative and abusive to you. You’re currently here learning english and learning to blend in with society, and you’re having a hard time with some internalized homophobia,” she listed as she looked up from her notes. Eddie blushed and glanced over at Beverly before looking at the ground.</p><p>“I’m not…I am not a homosexual,” Eddie replied stubbornly.</p><p>“Okay…we don’t have to label it that way. Why did they put you in conversion therapy?” She asked.</p><p>“…I was following another boy around on campus. I…I told them I thought he was beautiful, and they scheduled my first appointment,” Eddie told her.</p><p>“This boy…what made you think he was beautiful?” Eddie shrugged.</p><p>“I don’t know…I-I couldn’t help myself. I just wanted to…be close to him. I-I wasn’t being perverted or anything. I just…” Eddie trailed off as he thought about the memory. Beverly rubbed his shoulder and he sniffled.</p><p>“Usually the ones to over sexualize same sex love and attraction are the ones who want to control it. You’re first sign of attraction to other men wasn’t gross. It wasn’t dirty. Even if it was a sexual approach, do you think that would be unlike how a young man would see a young woman? It’s human nature to be attracted to others,” the therapist explained. Eddie furrowed his brows.</p><p>“Why…why would they want to control me?” Eddie asked.</p><p>“You said you were in Russia when they sent you to the therapy? They mostly do it for political reasons, and just a lack of tolerance,” she explained. Eddie’s brows twitched again in confusion and looked to Beverly for a translation.</p><p>“Which word?” She asked.</p><p>“Tol…tolerance?”</p><p>“Oh. That’s like to accept or endure something,” she explained.</p><p>“And…endure means…”</p><p>“To like…to let something happen even if you disagree or don’t like it,” Beverly continued. Eddie nodded.</p><p>“It’s…it’s something that some people just…let happen?” Eddie asked. Theresa nodded and smiled.</p><p>“Think about it. Are you hurting anybody by finding men attractive? If the other man finds you attractive, and wants to be with you, are you hurting anyone by being with him? Is anyone in danger?” She asked.</p><p>“They…they told me other people will see it and think that they can do it too. Then no one will have children because we’re too busy…too busy uh…<span class="u">screwing the wrong holes</span>,” Eddie said. Beverly smirked at that but covered it with a cough.</p><p>“Um…too busy having sex with the wrong people to make babies,” Beverly said. The therapist nodded.</p><p>“That’s a very common manipulation tactic in conversation therapy. That and guilting you and convincing you that the love you feel for men is not the same as heterosexual love. It’s all lies to make you scared. Eddie, let me ask you something. When did you first see a couple consisting of two men?”</p><p>“I’ve…never. Not in person. Only in a couple movies Richie showed me.”</p><p>“So what made you gay?” She asked pointedly. Eddie blinked.</p><p>“I…I don’t…know…”</p><p>“The answer is nothing,” Theresa said with a smile. “I’ve had a lot of clients exactly in your shoes. They were forced through conversion therapy, or they came from a country that didn’t accept them. It’s all the same lies they tell you. There’s nothing wrong with you. They just want to control you.”</p><p>“I’m…h-how do I stop…I just…<span class="u">I can’t stop feeling absolutely disgusting every time I think about…about a man</span>,” Eddie said. His chest felt tight as he tried to accept this woman’s words as his new reality. Theresa looked to Beverly and she cleared her throat.</p><p>“He says he feels disgusting when he thinks about men, and he wants to know how to stop that feeling,” she translated. Theresa nodded.</p><p>“Well, the best way is through training yourself to be okay with it. That means stopping negative self-talk, and replacing that with positive self-talk,” she explained.</p><p>“Self…talk?”</p><p>“That just means the way you talk to yourself. The voice in your head? It says some pretty awful things sometimes, right?” Eddie nodded. “Well, you actually have control over your thoughts. It’s not easy to do, but you can catch those bad thoughts, and start replacing them with positive thoughts. Give me an example of what makes you feel gross.” Eddie bit his lip.</p><p>“It’s…It’s unnatural to like men,” he said.</p><p>“Alright, now we’ve already explained how that’s not true, right? No one made you gay. You just have a natural attraction towards men. Whenever you have that thought, I want you to stop it and replace it with something like…’My attraction to men is natural. No one made me to like men’. Sound good?” Eddie nodded again.</p><p>“My attraction to men is natural…no one made me to like men…I’m not unnatural,” Eddie rephrased. Theresa nodded and smiled.</p><p>“It’s not going to be easy, okay? But don’t give up. Just repeat that positive self-talk, and control the negative self-talk.”</p><p>“Okay…I think I can do that,” Eddie said.</p><p>“Now, before I go, therapy can be hard. I want to end every session with a happy thought. Are you ready?” She asked. Eddie smiled a little and nodded.</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“Okay. Beverly you can join too, but when I ask for a verbal answer, I’m only asking Eddie. Okay?”</p><p>“Sounds good,” Beverly replied.</p><p>“Alright. Now, go ahead and close your eyes and think about something that makes you happy,” Theresa instructed.</p><p>     Eddie bit his lip as he thought about all the times he felt happiness flood his body. It mostly consisted of Richie. His hands gently pushing Eddie’s hair from his eyes. Those arms wrapping around him tightly, and his voice ever so gently reassuring him that everything was alright. His laugh as they watched shitty movies together, and the excitement in his eyes as he explained the plots to all of them. His fingers intertwined with Eddie’s, and his face so full of concern and love for Eddie. The taste of his lips after he took a bullet in the van. It was all just…Richie Richie Richie.</p><p>“Now, go ahead and use a few words to describe what makes you happy. You can use as many or as little as you’d like,” Theresa said. Eddie felt himself smile.</p><p>“Warm…gentle…close…” he hesitated before taking a breath and whispering the last one. “…Rich…”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. 015</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>     The therapy sessions became a regular thing. Theresa came over on one of her days off since it was such a long drive for her, and eventually Richie asked Bill to provide a car for her since she was doing such a good job. Eddie and Beverly adored her, and Richie loved the fact that Eddie seemed to be getting better and better every week. Bill, of course, obliged, and Theresa gave him a big thank you after Beverly spilled the beans and told her Richie was the one who asked for the car. He was happy to accept her hug, but would’ve been fine going uncredited.</p><p>     Things did get better, but they also got more tense. Instead of avoiding him, Richie found Eddie meeting his stares and holding them. Their bodies drawing closer and closer with each day. He even initiated some touching a couple times, and it sent Richie over the moon. His eyes seemed more curious than regretful, and anytime Richie flirted with him he was now met with a tiny smile instead of shouting. If the joke was particularly bad, Eddie would tell him that he’s stupid and dumb, but thankfully the slurs were missing from his rants now. Instead Richie could hear the affection in his voice rather than the nervous pitches from before. He still blushed a lot, but it wasn’t out of embarrassment. It was purely because Richie made him bashful and coy with his flirting, and that was a lot more satisfying than making him feel ashamed.</p><p>“<span class="u">Working hard, you two?</span>“ Richie hummed in Eddie’s ear on his way to the refrigerator. Eddie looked at him over his shoulder and smiled as Richie pulled down a glass and smiled back.</p><p>“Richie! What did I tell you! No Russian when we’re studying!” Bev scolded. </p><p>     It had been about a month since they started their sessions with Theresa, and two months since Beverly started teaching Eddie English. His accent was a little less heavy, and he was getting closer and closer to being fully immersed everyday. He was almost to the point where he only needed the English subtitles instead of the Russian ones when they watched movies together.</p><p>“<span class="u">Russian? Who’s speaking Russian? Can’t be me</span>,” Richie replied. Bev shook her head, and Eddie got up to walk over to Richie by the other counter.</p><p>“Can I have a glass too?” He asked. Richie smiled at him and nodded.</p><p>“<span class="u">Of course</span>, my little Eddie spaghetti,” Richie said as he reached up for another glass.</p><p>“That’s not my name, you know,” Eddie reminded him, but all annoyance was absent from his tone. Richie handed the glass to Eddie, and they both slowly stopped as their fingers touched.</p><p>“It’s called a nickname, babe,” he replied. Eddie blushed at the pet name and leaned a little closer.</p><p>“Well it’s a pretty shitty nickname,” he said. Richie’s smile bursted into a grin. He loved it when Eddie swore in English.</p><p>“God, you are just too cute, huh? I should wrap you up and keep you like a present,” Richie said. His voice got lower and quieter as he leaned closer, and Eddie swallowed hard before moving his hand to get closer to Richie’s.</p><p>“I don’t think—“ he stopped talking as they accidentally dropped the glass and it shattered on the ground. Beverly burst out laughing, and Eddie was completely mortified. Richie joined in the laughter and pressed a kiss to Eddie’s forehead.</p><p>“Holy fuck, you two are so dumb sometimes!” Beverly said. Richie rolled his eyes, and Eddie felt their fingers interlock where the glass used to be.</p><p>“Shut up, Marsh, and help us clean this up!”</p><p>     Later that night they stayed up watching some of Beverly’s favorite movies. They were all stories about women being strong and capable, and they all had heartwarming endings that almost made Eddie cry. They stayed up so late watching those movies that Eddie was almost asleep on the couch. He leaned heavily on Richie’s chest, and enjoyed the feeling of his long pale fingers running through his hair. His eyes drooped every time Richie exhaled, and he snuggled closer when Richie brushed something off his cheek with his other hand.</p><p>“Look, I got an eyelash. Make a wish,” Richie whispered. Eddie opened his eyes to see a small black hair balanced on the tip of Richie’s thumb. He hummed as he thought about a wish and then looked up to Richie.</p><p>“What would I wish for?” He asked. Richie’s brows furrowed.</p><p>“What do you mean? Anything you want,” Richie replied. Eddie frowned as he thought about it all.</p><p>“I already have everything I want,” he murmured sounding tired. It was now Richie’s turn to blush, and he quickly smiled as he realized he had gotten a sleepy confession out of him.</p><p>“Okay then, how about you wish for good luck?” Richie suggested. Eddie smiled at that and then nodded.</p><p>“Good luck…yeah…” he hummed and then turned his head back to Richie’s thumb. He softly blew the eyelash away, and Richie’s heart was full at the sight of him snuggling back into place against his chest. As if he belonged there in the first place.</p><p>     That night Richie carried Eddie up to bed. He had done it a couple times in the past, but it wasn’t as often as it had been the past few weeks Eddie had started therapy. Usually he was actually asleep, but a couple times he was awake and they chatted as Richie carried him up the stairs. This time Eddie was completely out of it. If he was awake, he wasn’t awake enough to keep his eyes open. He was even lightly snoring by the time Richie got to his room, and he frowned when Richie set him down into bed. Richie chuckled and tucked a lock of hair behind his ear before kissing his forehead.</p><p>“You are too cute. Who knew behind this angry Russian goblin was the softest, cutest guy I’ve ever met?” Richie hummed. Eddie sighed in his sleep and turned towards Richie. He pressed another kiss to Eddie’s cheek and hugged him one last time before standing up. “Goodnight, Eds. Sweet dreams.”</p><p>     That night, Eddie’s dreams were not sweet. They weren’t sweet in the slightest. Instead his dreams consisted of screams and the sound of skin being slapped and punished. Endless hallways covered with the blueish wash of the LED lights, and angry Russian being shouted in every room his passed in the hallway. When he looked down his hands were bloody, and when he looked back up there were hundreds of men shouting at him in different languages. This time he knew exactly what they were saying, and he felt his heart sink as they all screamed for him to help them. More blood covered the floor until it reached Eddie, and he was stuck in a puddle of red that stained his pants and his white coat. He begged the men for forgiveness, but the only words that came from his mouth were Russian.</p><p>“<em><span class="u">No! I’m so sorry! Please! Forgive me! It’s not my fault!</span></em>“</p><p>“Eddie! Wake up!”</p><p>     Eddie opened his eyes and gasped for air as he realized he was finally awake. Richie held him in his arms and was rocking him, and his body couldn’t stop shaking as he clung to him. He hadn’t thought about that place since they got here. Why would he think about it now? Was he screaming? Why would he let it haunt him like this? He felt hot tears falling down his face, and Eddie sobbed into Richie’s neck as he allowed the other man to continue rocking him. Beverly came in with a glass of water, and rubbed Eddie’s knee as he drank it.</p><p>“It’s okay, Eddie. We’re right here. You’re okay,” Beverly cooed.</p><p>“I-I…<span class="u">th-the men…all the men…I just…I left them there. I-I couldn’t save them like I saved Richie</span>,” Eddie said. Richie gently shushed him and rubbed his shoulder.</p><p>“<span class="u">You did what you had to do to survive, sweetheart. You didn’t have a lot of choice</span>,” Richie murmured and kissed the top of his head. Eddie’s shaking had gone down a little, and he sank deeper into Richie’s chest as he spoke.</p><p>“<span class="u">I wanted to help them…there were so many…all I could do was keep them alive</span>…” Eddie whimpered.</p><p>“<span class="u">That’s okay, baby. You gave them hope. Hope is such a beautiful thing. You gave me hope every time I saw you. You made me so happy</span>,” Richie assured him.</p><p>“<span class="u">I was so horrible to you…I’ve said so many terrible things to you, I’m so sorry</span>—“</p><p>“<span class="u">Don’t worry about the things you’ve said. Those thing are meaningless. You know better now. Let’s focus on now, okay?</span>“ Richie interrupted. Beverly nodded and took the empty glass from Eddie’s hand.</p><p>“<span class="u">Do you want food? More water?</span>“ she asked. Eddie opened his dry sticky mouth and then nodded.</p><p>“<span class="u">Please</span>…“ he replied. Beverly nodded and got up to go to the kitchen.</p><p>“You haven’t had a nightmare this bad before,” Richie hummed. Eddie sniffled.</p><p>“Have I had a lot?” He asked.</p><p>“You’ve had some mornings were I suspect you’ve had less than good sleep, but if you don’t remember them then they probably weren’t that bad,” Richie replied. Eddie nodded and reached up to wrap his arms around Richie’s neck. He held him tighter, and Richie reciprocated it.</p><p>“I’m sorry I woke you…” he murmured. Richie shook his head.</p><p>“It’s not a problem, Eds. I told you, I’m here for you. If you need me to, I’ll stay here all night with you,” he said. Eddie hesitated for a moment as he played with the shorter hairs on Richie’s nape.</p><p>“…you will?” He asked. Richie nodded.</p><p>“Of course. I’ll be on the floor right next to you all night, and if you have another bad dream I’ll be right here,” Richie said. Eddie hesitated again, but eventually nodded to that.</p><p>“Okay…I think I’d like that…” he murmured. Richie smiled and kissed the side of his head.<br/> <br/>“I got ya, okay?”</p><p>“Okay…”</p><p>     Beverly returned with another glass of water and a sleeve of crackers while Richie set up a makeshift bed next to Eddie’s. It consisted of a few blankets and a pillow, but Richie was the type of person who could sleep anywhere in any position. He got settled under his blanket, and laughed as Beverly patted his head. She gave Eddie a kiss on the cheek as she helped him back into bed, and then turned off the lights as she got to the door.</p><p>“Goodnight, guys,” she said.</p><p>“Goodnight, Miss Marsh,” Richie replied. Eddie smiled from his bed and nodded.</p><p>“Goodnight, Bev…”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. 016</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Updating again today purely bc I was asked to lol</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>     Waking up, Eddie almost forgot what happened last night. Needless to say he had a little jump when he saw Richie on his floor, but he quickly calmed himself down as he remembered Richie and Beverly comforting him from his nightmare last night. Thankfully he didn’t have any more, but he was happy to see that Richie stayed all night like he said he would. He was laying on his stomach, and he must’ve discarded his shirt sometime through the night since it was lazily thrown across Eddie’s floor. Seeing his bare skin was making Eddie’s mouth dry again, so he quietly got up and headed to the bathroom.</p>
<p>     Showering while knowing Richie was in the other room was a little strange. At first he tried to be as quiet as possible, but he would quickly forgot about him from time to time. He went between being incredibly quiet to functioning normally and then remembering Richie was still sleeping and being quiet again. Once he finished his shower he brushed his teeth, and then realized he didn’t bring his clothes with him. He then peeked through his door and spotted Richie still fast asleep, and decided to sneak out again and grab some clothes from his dresser and returning to the bathroom. After he was fully dressed he left the bathroom and closed the door behind him. That was when he finally saw Richie move and make a sound.</p>
<p>“Hm…Eds?” Richie murmured. Eddie smiled a little leaned against the bathroom door. He had a perfect view of Richie’s back as he moved and stretched his muscles. His mind naturally wondered to the idea of touching his skin, and that naturally led to the idea of kissing it like Richie always kissed his forehead.</p>
<p>“I’m beginning to think you don’t actually know my name,” Eddie teased and let his eyes drift to where the blanket was sliding to reveal more of Richie’s spine. He then rolled over and revealed his chest, and Eddie didn’t bother to look away as Richie ran his fingers through his hair.</p>
<p>“It gets so hot in your room. I forgot I put the heater on higher for you in here,” Richie murmured. </p>
<p>     Eddie giggled a little, and took in the sight of Richie shirtless. He was becoming more and more comfortable with letting himself look. He didn’t feel the need to look away or feel guilty about it as much anymore. It was still a struggle, but he was allowing himself to stop the negative self-talk like Theresa told him to. Instead he just looked. He looked at the trail of hair over Richie’s belly button, and how soft his skin looked between his pecs. The broadness of his shoulders, and the angular bump of his Adam’s apple. His sharp jaw with a little scruff to it, and the smile that was spreading across his face. It was then that Eddie realized he was waiting for a reply, and he looked at the other man in the eyes.</p>
<p>“I don’t mind it,” Eddie said innocently. Richie chuckled and finally sat up. That prompted Eddie to peel himself from the door and sit down on the floor closer to Richie.</p>
<p>“Of course you don’t. I’m the one who’s shirtless here,” Richie reminded him. Eddie smiled at him and leaned closer.</p>
<p>“Like I said. I don’t mind,” he replied. Richie bit his lip and reached out to take Eddie’s hand. They both looked down and watched as Richie traced his fingers over the creases in Eddie’s palm.</p>
<p>“I’m really proud of you, y’know? You seem a lot happier now…and I’m glad that you seem to be more comfortable with yourself,” he said. Eddie frowned and looked at Richie.</p>
<p>“Proud of me? I woke you up screaming last night,” Eddie reminded him. Richie shook his head and looked back at him.</p>
<p>“Everyone has nightmares, Eds—“</p>
<p>“Eddie,” he corrected pouting. Richie smiled and pinched his cheek.</p>
<p>“You are just so cute…cute cute cute!” He said and kissed his other cheek. Eddie giggled and playfully pushed at Richie’s chest. His hands lingered even after Richie let go of his cheeks, and he felt Richie’s wrist brush against his waist.</p>
<p>“You don’t have nightmares…” Eddie murmured.</p>
<p>“Who said that?” Richie asked. Eddie blinked at him.</p>
<p>“Huh?”</p>
<p>“Who told you I don’t have nightmares? That’s just so fucking wrong,” Richie replied. Eddie blushed.</p>
<p>“Last night…I’ve never seen you do something like that,” Eddie told him.</p>
<p>“Yeah, and you’ve only really known me for a couple months, Eds. I know it’s hard to imagine, but the first two days we were here and we were knocked out, I woke up screaming for Bev at least three times,” Richie told him. Eddie blinked in surprise.</p>
<p>“You did?” Richie nodded.</p>
<p>“They get easier to deal with over time…but the bad ones never stay away completely. For me they always come back after I finish a mission…” he breathed a chuckle. “It’s funny. I deal with torture and interrogation much better while it’s happening, but once I’m out of it I’m a mess,” he said. Eddie frowned and cupped his face.</p>
<p>“You were so brave, Richie. I’ve never met someone who didn’t beg for their life immediately. You’re so strong. I’m so glad we made it out of there together,” Eddie spoke in a hushed and soft tone that made Richie’s heart melt as he leaned into Eddie’s stroking hands.</p>
<p>“I’ll be honest, Eds…I couldn’t have done it without you. I’ve been through much much worse, but…I’ve been doing this for a long time now,” Richie said. Eddie felt his lower lip tremble, so he bit it to keep it still. His eyes were watering too, and Richie didn’t hesitate to reach up and wipe them away.</p>
<p>“They were awful to you. I can’t…I can’t believe anyone would do anything worse than what they did,” Eddie whispered. “You didn’t deserve any of it. I wish I knew…<span class="u">I wish I knew how much you would mean to me when I first saw you</span>.”</p>
<p>“<span class="u">I knew it. I knew from the first time you cursed me out that I would do anything for you</span>.”</p>
<p>     Richie leaned closer as he spoke, and Eddie’s breath stuttered as he felt Richie’s lips brush against his. It had been so long since they kissed in that van, but he hadn’t forgotten how it made him feel. Both of Richie’s hands were now on Eddie’s waist, and he gladly admitted to himself that he <em>loved </em>the way it felt to be so close to him. He moved his own hands to run through Richie’s hair until his arms hung loosely over his shoulders. Tan fingers played with the curls at Richie’s nape, and the air was unbelievably thick with the tension. Richie’s eyes were closed as he slid his nose against Eddie’s, and Eddie felt like he couldn’t breath as they hovered against each other.</p>
<p>“Richie, I…” he didn’t finish his sentence. He had no idea what he was going to say anyways. All he knew was that his brain was fuzzy, and he couldn’t think with Richie so close to him.</p>
<p>“Would it be okay to kiss you?” Richie asked. His words felt like a hot knife through Eddie’s heart, and he closed his mouth as he tilted his head back.</p>
<p>“<em><span class="u">Dammit</span></em>, Richie…” he huffed.</p>
<p>“I won’t if you don’t want it…but I do want it. I want you, Eddie,” he confessed.</p>
<p>“You kissed me in the van,” Eddie reminded him. Richie nodded.</p>
<p>“I should’ve asked then, but…I mean I just got shot, so…” Eddie laughed a little, and Richie laughed with him.</p>
<p>“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it,” he confessed. Richie took one hand from his waist and returned it to Eddie’s face.</p>
<p>“Me too. Eddie, I…” he trailed off as Eddie moved closer so their thighs were touching through the blankets.</p>
<p>“Kiss me again, Richie. I miss it,” he whispered.</p>
<p>     At first Richie was shocked into silence. He was expecting a nod or possibly a shy “yes”, but Eddie explicitly asking him for it and even saying he <em>missed</em> it was more than what Richie could’ve asked for. It didn’t take him long to snap out of it and nod, and then he finally leaned in and pressed a kiss ever so gently against Eddie’s lips.</p>
<p>     It felt like Eddie was letting go of something. There was less weight in his body, and his head felt the lightest it’s ever been. Richie’s lips were so soft and gentle, and Eddie did nothing to stop himself from dissolving and falling into it. It was such a sweet and innocent kiss, and he had missed the flash of heat that came with it. He missed the feel of the other man touching him and being so close to him. Most of all he missed the way it sent his heart in circles. His chest impossibly tight and his hands tangled tight in Richie’s hair as the first kiss lead to another. Richie held him closely, and Eddie loved every second of it. He let Richie kiss him a third time and even a fourth time before the door swung open, and Eddie ripped his mouth away despite still clinging to Richie. He blinked up at Beverly with wide eyes and turned bright red as she smiled.</p>
<p>“Once you two are done canoodling, I’ve got breakfast ready downstairs,” she announced. Richie laughed and wrapped his arms fully around Eddie’s shoulders.</p>
<p>“Don’t mind us. Just having a totally platonic heart to heart,” Richie replied. She laughed and shook her head.</p>
<p>“Please have something other than Eddie for breakfast, alright?” She said before heading back downstairs.</p>
<p>“What is platonic?” Eddie asked looking up at him. Richie let him pull back to get a better look and gave a little chuckle.</p>
<p>“Well, it was a joke, just so you know, but platonic means like friends,” Richie told him. Eddie frowned.</p>
<p>“So…this was all just…friendly?” Richie shook his head.</p>
<p>“Oh no. Not a chance. I was being sarcastic because uh…it’s very obvious we weren’t being platonic,” Richie explained. Eddie bit his lip.</p>
<p>“Not platonic means…not friendly.”</p>
<p>“Not platonic can mean that, but it can also mean more than friends,” Richie replied and took Eddie’s hand. “It can mean something special…and I’d like to have something special with you.” Eddie looked up at him from their hands and he was certain Richie could see how excited he was to hear that.</p>
<p>“Something special…I want that too,” he confirmed. Richie smiled and leaned in to kiss him softly and briefly on the lips again.</p>
<p>“Then that’s what we have.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>They do be kissing now tho :0</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. 017</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>We’re ten chapters away from the end :0 who’s excited?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>“Ben just got done with his mission. Do you mind if he stays here for a couple weeks?” Beverly asked. Richie looked up from his bacon and nodded.</p>
<p>“Sure thing. He can have his own room…if he wants,” he replied with a teasing smile. Beverly blushed and shot him a playful glare.</p>
<p>“What’s the supposed to mean?” She asked. Richie shrugged.</p>
<p>“It means if he insists on having his own room, that’s totally okay,” he replied. Eddie was too busy cutting up his pancakes perfectly to pay much attention, but he had gotten to the point where he can understand what’s being said even when he’s tuning it out.</p>
<p>“What other room would he stay in, huh?” Bev questioned. Richie chewed his food and pointed at her.</p>
<p>“Yours,” he answered. She rolled her eyes.</p>
<p>“Ben and I…it’s not that simple,” she said.</p>
<p>“Oh, no. I get it. Two field agents together is super hard to figure out. I mean, just look at Mike and Stan and Bill…oh wait, they figured that out,” Richie said. Bev lightly hit his arm and shook her head again.</p>
<p>“It’s different,” she insisted. Richie laughed at that. “Besides, you and Eddie don’t share a room. Why’s that?” She challenged. Eddie fumbled with his fork and turned bright red at her suggestion, and Richie laughed.</p>
<p>“Now this actually <em>is </em>totally different. I didn’t realize Ben was moving from a foreign country and struggling to accept his sexuality,” Richie cackled. Bev sighed.</p>
<p>“Fuck, I guess you have a point,” she agreed and took a bite of her pancake.</p>
<p>“You okay, Eds?” Richie asked rubbing his pointer finger cutely back and forth against Eddie’s arm. He nodded and spared a smile. His lips were still tingling from that morning.</p>
<p>“Yeah…I’m good,” he replied and continued eating his food.</p>
<p>     Ben was scheduled to come over within the next week, and they all spoke to him over the phone. He instantly praised Eddie for his English and how good it sounded, and then they moved on to logistical things and how long Ben would be saying. His boss gave him about a month and a half off before returning to the field, so Richie suggested he stayed for a couple weeks and then head home to settle himself before jumping back in so soon. Ben agreed to that, and Beverly told him how excited she was to see him again. Richie and Eddie turned on a movie while she talked to Ben alone on the phone, and Eddie easily settled into Richie’s arms as they always did.</p>
<p>     It was all a little bit different now that they had addressed the elephant in the room. The elephant being that they felt something for each other and that they wanted each other. Eddie was certain Richie liked him from how blunt he had been, but he was also constantly assured by Richie that it was more than just wanting him. It was protecting him and holding him, making sure he was comfortable and happy. Richie wanted what was best for Eddie, and Eddie wanted what was bet for Richie. With that acknowledgment it was so easy to be close. To touch without thinking, and to reach for him more often. It was a good change. Eddie liked this change.</p>
<p>“You’re my cuddly little icicle,” Richie sighed and he rubbed Eddie’s cold fingers between his. Eddie blushed and shook his head.</p>
<p>“I checked the thermostat. I think you’re making this room colder on purpose,” Eddie accused. Richie chuckled.</p>
<p>“I mean yeah, but that’s only because it has a fire place and I’m like a walking space heater. I overheat way too easily,” Richie replied. Eddie giggled and pressed his cold hands to Richie’s face. “That is incredibly shockingly cold. I love it.”</p>
<p>“Liar. I saw you flinch,” Eddie replied and touched down his neck. Richie laughed and took his hands so he could return Eddie’s palms against his cheeks.</p>
<p>“I was surprised! I love it when you touch my face,” Richie replied and covered his fingers with his hands. They were bigger than Eddie’s, and he loved feeling their fingers brush against each other.</p>
<p>“I like it when you hold me,” Eddie confessed quietly. Richie smiled at him and moved his hands so he could wrap his arms around Eddie again.</p>
<p>“Then perhaps there’s an advantage to you being so cold,” Richie hummed and kissed his temple. Eddie blushed and smiled before kissing his jaw. Richie held him tighter and buried his face in Eddie’s hair. “Cute cute cute…”</p>
<p>“Ben is gonna be here on Friday. He said Bill can get him a car, but I told him we’ll just pick him up. Does that sound good?” Beverly said as she walked back over to the couch. Richie nodded.</p>
<p>“That sounds fantastic. I’m very excited to see agent Handsome again. He was very pleasant to work with,” Richie replied. Beverly nodded.</p>
<p>“He really is.”</p>
<p>     The night before Ben was supposed to fly in was a little weird. Richie seemed to be on edge about something. He was easily startled throughout the whole day, but whenever Bev or Eddie tried to ask about it he merely laughed it off and blamed it on the coffee he drank. He went to bed early that night, and Eddie decided to stay up a little later to read another book that Theresa suggested to him. Usually Eddie was a heavy sleeper and he wouldn’t wake up for anything, so when he heard the sound of whimpering and talking from down the hall he could easily see himself sleeping through it. He closed his book, and decided to get up and investigate.</p>
<p>     The whimpering obviously came from Richie’s room at the end of the hall before the staircase. It sounded sad and pathetic. Like a kicked puppy on the side of the road. The talking was too quiet to hear through the door, but it was definitely Richie’s voice mumbling something in his sleep. Eddie took a deep breath and was about to go in when he heard Beverly’s door open behind him.</p>
<p>“You’re up,” she acknowledged as she walked over wrapping her robe around her waist. Eddie nodded meeting her eyes, but his attention was redirected to the door when Richie let out another whine. “He’s been like this ever since I mentioned Ben coming back. His brain is probably associating him with that place. It makes sense, but…it sucks that it works like that,” she explained.</p>
<p>“I’m usually always asleep at this time,” Eddie murmured. Beverly nodded.</p>
<p>“It’s not the first time he woke me up at night. The first week we were here he had mini episodes while you were asleep. They come and go. I think sometimes I miss them too,” she told him. Eddie’s heart hurt at the idea of him sleeping through all of Richie’s episodes.</p>
<p>“He’s in pain…” Beverly nodded.</p>
<p>“He does a good job of hiding it. That, and you definitely help him a lot. You calm him unlike anyone else,” she said. Eddie blushed at that, and Bev nodded her head to the door. “You should check on him. Grab me if you need anything, but…I think he’ll be happy to see you instead of me this time.” Eddie nodded and smiled at her.</p>
<p>“Thanks…”</p>
<p>     Beverly walked back to her room, and Eddie hovered his hand over the door knob. A soft cry came from behind the door, and that was the final push Eddie needed to finally open the door. It was dark, as expected, but his eyes were adjusted enough for him to cautiously make his way to the nightstand. He flicked on the lamp, and he could clearly see Richie clutching a pillow to his chest. Tears were fresh and shiny around his eyes, and Eddie rushed to sit next to him on the bed and push his hair out of the way as he continued letting out quiet sobs.</p>
<p>“Richie…Richie, it’s okay. I’m right here,” Eddie cooed as he wiped the tears away. Richie squeezed his eyes tight, but his face softened when Eddie’s voice sank in and his hands touched him more.</p>
<p>“No…no more…”</p>
<p>“It’s gone, Richie. There is no more,” Eddie assured him and rubbed his shoulder. “Please wake up…”</p>
<p>     As if on command, Richie’s eyes slowly opened as he hyperventilated into the pillow. He then blinked up at Eddie and his whole body relaxed. He reached up, and Eddie took his hand as he struggled to sit up and hold onto him tightly. Usually the way Richie held him was to comfort him, but now Eddie let Richie hold him so he could comfort himself. He rubbed his back as Richie nuzzle his neck and sniffled while he tried to calm himself. Eddie kissed his temple, his cheek, his forehead as he moved his arms to cradle his head. Richie was the one shaking this time, and Eddie moved them so they could lay down instead of sit up at the awkward angle they were sitting.</p>
<p>“Sorry if I woke you up,” Richie croaked. Eddie shook his head and held Richie’s head tighter against his chest.</p>
<p>“No…no, I was just reading and I heard you,” he whispered. Richie sighed and wrapped his arms fully around Eddie’s waist.</p>
<p>“Shit…”</p>
<p>“Beverly told me you’ve been doing this all week,” Eddie said. Richie nodded. “Is it because of Ben?” Richie hesitated.</p>
<p>“He came in one time…the first time you fed me. Once you were gone he sat down with me and he said…if I escape…I should take you with me,” Richie said. Eddie felt his heart clench.</p>
<p>“Richie…”</p>
<p>“I keep…having this dream. This dream where they never came, and it was up to me to get you out safely. It always ends with that man in the garage…beating you to death,” Richie’s voice sounded weaker the longer he talked. Eddie shushed him gently and ran his fingers through his hair.</p>
<p>“You nearly killed him, remember? He was probably executed for allowing us to escape,” Eddie told him. Richie let out a shaky breath and pressed his lips to Eddie’s collarbones through his thin night shirt. It wasn’t a kiss, but it felt nice to feel his breath on Eddie’s neck.</p>
<p>“Can you stay like this? With me…at least until I fall asleep again?” Richie asked quietly, almost begging. Eddie nodded and kissed the top of his head.</p>
<p>“Of course. I’ll be here when you wake up,” he promised. Richie sighed again, and gave him a squeeze.</p>
<p>“Thank you…”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Also don’t worry I’m already working on an epilogue one shot…even though there’s going to be an epilogue in this fic, but the one shot will be like a little before the epilogue chapter :0</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. 018</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>*John Mulaney voice* There’s smut in here!</p><p>There’s smut in here!</p><p>(Basically just dry humping lmao)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>     When Richie woke up he was pleasantly surprised to feel the same arms around him as when he fell asleep. Eddie was as close as possible, and Richie relished in the physical affection as he snuggled closer. It couldn’t have been too late in the days. As much of a morning person Richie <em>wasn’t</em>, whenever he had bad dreams he tended to wake up earlier. He felt the thin fabric covering Eddie’s back, and moved his head to press his lips against his clavicle. They were supposed to pick up Ben today, right? He just wanted to spend all day in bed with Eddie. It was selfish, but he was allowed to be selfish. Wanting it didn’t mean he was going to get it.</p><p>     The room was cold as it usually was in the mornings. Typically Richie was sweltering under his blankets, but with Eddie clinging to him for warmth he was more than comfortable. He was still asleep, and Richie had no desire to wake him up. There was no explanation for how quickly he fell for this angry small man, but he did and he fell hard. He couldn’t even <em>think </em>about disturbing his sleep. Especially when he came to Richie’s room to comfort him. Just thinking of that made his heart swell.</p><p>     It must’ve been hours later when Eddie finally started to stir awake. He stretched, pushing his body up against Richie, and nuzzled further into Richie’s curls. His legs hooked over Richie’s waist again once his body relaxed, and Richie had to resist his urge to touch down his waist and under his thigh. Instead he pressed a kiss against Eddie’s collarbones, and pulled him close again.</p><p>“Mm…Richie…” Eddie murmured.</p><p>“Morning,” Richie murmured and then moved to kiss his neck.</p><p>“Hmm…<span class="u">feels good</span>,” he sighed and gently pushed Richie’s face closer to his skin. The agent chuckled and continued the kisses against Eddie’s throat.</p><p>“<span class="u">You like this?</span>“ Richie asked as he left lingering, hotter kisses against Eddie’s skin. His fingers curled tighter into Richie’s hair, and he let out a soft sound of approval.</p><p>“Mmm…<span class="u">don’t…don’t speak Russian, please</span>,” Eddie murmured.</p><p>“<span class="u">Why not? You’re speaking it</span>,“ Richie pointed out as he kissed under his jaw. Eddie moved his hand to cup Richie’s face, and slowly caressed his cheek as Richie started sucking and leaving a mark on his skin.</p><p>“<span class="u">I like it when you speak English. It sounds better</span>,” Eddie admitted in a breathy voice. As if he was having difficulty breathing with Richie touching him like that.</p><p>“It sounds better?” Richie hummed, finally obliging. Eddie whimpered and nodded. “Do you mean it sounds sexier?” Richie teased. It was meant as a joke, but Eddie was uncharacteristically quiet. That told Richie he was on the right track. “Can I touch you?”</p><p>“W…where?” Eddie asked. Richie bit his lip and lightly dragged his hand down the length of his body, and stopped hovering over his thigh.</p><p>“Here?” He murmured before pressing another kiss against Eddie’s throat. Eddie sighed and nodded.</p><p>“Yes…”</p><p>     With permission, Richie fully ran his hand down Eddie’s body. He started at his ribs, bending into his waist and gripping his hip while he continued pressing kisses against his neck. He then moved over his ass, but quickly moved past it to touch his leg. Eddie sighed contently as Richie’s hand touched him, and let out something deeper when his fingers curled around his thigh. Never in a million years did Richie think he’d actually be able to touch Eddie like this, so he savored each noise, every touch, and the warmth they shared as Eddie let him do it.</p><p>“Richie…ah…<span class="u">kiss me</span>. Please,” Eddie requested. Richie wasted no time, and pulled Eddie down closer to him so he could properly kiss him on the lips.</p><p>“You’re so cute,” Richie hummed between kisses. Eddie smiled against his lips and held his face as he allowed Richie to kiss him over and over again.</p><p>“<span class="u">Touch me more</span>. I like it. I like how you make me feel,” Eddie whispered against his lips. Richie furrowed his brows and bit his lip before turning them so he was on top of Eddie.</p><p>“What do you want?” Richie asked. Eddie grabbed at his shirt desperately and his chest was moving fast with his lungs.</p><p>“You. I want you,” he whimpered as he touched under Richie’s collar.</p><p>“Fuck, do you even know what you’re asking for?” Richie asked and ducked down to kiss his throat. Eddie shook his head.</p><p>“I’ve never…<span class="u">I wasn’t allowed to pursue people. I’ve never done anything</span>,” he announced. Richie cursed and pulled off his shirt once Eddie had it clawed up to his armpits.</p><p>“Have you ever masturbated? Gotten yourself off?” Richie questioned pulling back to look at him. Eddie looked confused, so Richie went back to Russian. “<span class="u">Have you ever touched yourself?</span>“ Eddie’s eyes went wide and he shook his head.</p><p>“<span class="u">I wasn’t allowed</span>…”</p><p>“Then let’s go slow, okay?” He hummed. Eddie hesitated, but eventually nodded.</p><p>“Okay…how are we going to do that?” He asked.</p><p>“Very carefully, and with lots of talking, okay baby?” He cooed. Eddie pouted at the pet name, and touched down Richie’s naked chest.</p><p>“It feels good to be close to you…”</p><p>“It feels good for me too,” Richie promised and kissed him again. </p><p>     Eddie sighed happily against his lips, and touched all the skin in front of him. Richie touched him too, and moved his hands under Eddie’s sleep shirt as he worked his mouth. He touched his skin, and then down to his pyjama pants. Eddie pulled his legs up over Richie’s hips as he touched them, and Richie moaned into his mouth. He hooked one of Eddie’s legs up around his waist, and Eddie merely gasped as Richie moved his body so easily. His hands burned against his skin through the fabric, and it made Eddie moan for more.</p><p>“Richie…mm…closer,” Eddie huffed as he used the strength in his legs to push Richie against him. Their hips met, and Eddie gasped at the pressure and friction between his legs. Richie groaned and started sucking a mark on the other side of Eddie’s neck.</p><p>“Fuck, you’re so…” Richie tailed off as he felt Eddie’s hips rock up against his for more friction. He groaned and let his head fall against Eddie’s shoulder before carefully rolling his hips with him.</p><p>“Richie…I-I feel like I can’t breath…I feel so warm,” Eddie told him. Richie nodded and caressed his thigh around his waist.</p><p>“That’s okay. It’s gonna feel really intense, okay?” Richie warned him and stroked his cheek as he moved his hips just a touch faster to slowly get him used to the feeling of his impending orgasm. Eddie let his head fall back, and Richie took advantage of all the skin in front of him.</p><p>“Ah…<em>Richie</em>,” he moaned and threw his arms around Richie’s neck.</p><p>“You’re okay, baby. I got you,” Richie assured him and kissed under his ear.</p><p>     Eddie shivered and nodded as he kissed the side of his head. His body started to tremble as Richie rutted against him a little faster. He moved his own hips, and couldn’t manage to stay still for even a second the entire time Richie was touching him. The pressure in his gut felt so overwhelming, and he had to gasp for air between moans as Richie licked and sucked on his lobe. Butterflies filled his stomach, but it really didn’t take much before he was coming undone. His body tensing up unbelievably tight, and his throat only letting a shivering moan out of him. He dug his fingers into Richie’s skin, and whimpered and cried as he released in his boxers, and twitched with every pass of Richie’s continued thrusting. It wasn’t long before Richie came too, and he was hovering over Eddie while gasping for breath.</p><p>“Richie…mh…” Eddie murmured and pulled Richie down so he could lay on top of him. Richie didn’t protest, and settled himself on top of Eddie and between his legs. Eddie held him tight, his heart beating fast under Richie’s ear, and his hands shaking as he stroked Richie’s hair.</p><p>“Fuck, Eds…” Richie sighed.</p><p>“I feel so…s-so jelly…”</p><p>“Jelly?”</p><p>“My body…like spaghetti…” Richie chuckled in understanding and kissed right over his heart.</p><p>“That’s because you’re my little Eddie spaghetti,” Richie hummed. Eddie let out a shaky breath and buried his face back into Richie’s curls.</p><p>“Does that happen…happen every time people kiss?” Eddie asked.</p><p>“It doesn’t have to, but it can. There’s more ways of doing it too,” Richie replied.</p><p>“It felt really good…” Eddie murmured. Richie nodded and let his eyes drift shut.</p><p>“It feels really good with people you like,” Richie replied. “I take it you didn’t really take a class on sexuality or sexual health.” Eddie shook his head.</p><p>“They all kept me away from sex…it’s kind of embarrassing how much I don’t know about it,” he confessed. Richie chuckled and ran his fingers over the bare skin of Eddie’s arm.</p><p>“I’d be more than happy to teach you all about it,” he teased. Eddie giggled and nodded.</p><p>“I think I’d like that very much,” he whispered.</p><p>     They were quiet after that. Despite the drying cum in their pants, they were too tired to move. So they stayed there and eventually drifted off to sleep again, waiting for Beverly to eventually burst in and wake them up for the day.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. 019</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>     Beverly woke them up ask predicted, and they took showers in their own rooms to start the day. Ben was supposed to land around twelve, so they needed to start driving into town around ten. Eddie was excited to see Ben again, but couldn’t help but notice how empty his room felt after spending the night in Richie’s. He got changed, and suddenly felt lonely in the big open space. It almost reminded him of the room he would go to for cleaning his tools. His bedroom was ten times bigger, but after experiencing something so close with someone so important to him, the two rooms might as well have been the same size.</p><p>“Eddie? Are you ready? We were gonna have a light breakfast and go out for lunch once we picked up Ben,” Beverly said as she knocked on his open door softly. It opened and she stepped in as she talked, and Eddie smiled and nodded as he finished tying his shoe laces.</p><p>“Yeah, that sounds great,” he replied. She smiled back and walked over to give Eddie a hug. He accepted it and reciprocated.</p><p>“Thank you for checking on Richie last night. He seems happier now,” she said. Eddie blushed as he remembered how they spent their time together earlier that morning and nodded.</p><p>“That’s good. I’m glad I could help him. He’s helped me so much.”</p><p>“You guys really do help each other a lot. I’m glad he brought you home. It’s been a while since I’ve seen him this at peace before,” she said. Eddie smiled at that.</p><p>“I feel the same…I’ve never felt so…at home.” Beverly patted his shoulder.</p><p>“C’mon. Let’s go eat.”</p><p>     When they got downstairs Richie immediately greeted Eddie with a kiss on the cheek. Eddie was blushing at the feeling of Richie’s hands on his hips again, as it reminded him of earlier. The other man merely chuckled at the color and reached back on the counter for a breakfast bar. He handed it to Eddie, and they were all out the door. Beverly volunteered to drive there, but Richie insisted that he would drive back so that. Bev could focus on Ben the whole time. She blushed at that, but allowed it anyways.</p><p>     The entire drive to the airport Richie had his fingers intertwined with Eddie’s. He’d kiss the back of his hand every so often and even kiss Eddie on the cheek or the lips, but otherwise kept it sweet. It was obvious what they did earlier made him want to give more affection, and Eddie was happy to accept it. He smiled at every kiss, and hummed with delight when Richie wrapped his arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer. They talked a little, but mostly kept to gentle touches and soft whispers while they drove to the airport.</p><p>“Okay, lovebirds, lets go get Ben. He just landed ten minutes ago,” Beverly said as she checked her phone.</p><p>“<span class="u">Yes! Let’s go find Doctor Winters!</span>“ Richie said excitedly as he pulled Eddie out of the car. </p><p>     Eddie giggled a little and followed Richie and Beverly to the airport. Ben ended up finding them first, and hugged Beverly tightly as he walked out of the airport with a couple bags. Richie caught up with them with Eddie behind him, and picked up one of Ben’s bags. He was then greeted with a hug as well, and then so was Eddie.</p><p>“It’s so good to see you two not covered in blood all the time,” Ben said as he let go of Eddie. Richie laughed at that.</p><p>“I know, right? Thank god they didn’t have a mirror in that cell. I looked like <em>shit</em>,” Richie said. Eddie blinked at that. They were joking about it so carelessly, but Richie was just crying about it last night.</p><p>“It wasn’t that bad,” Beverly assured him.</p><p>“Seriously, how did I manage to get you if it wasn’t for my good looks?” Richie asked Eddie as he threw his arm over his shoulder.</p><p>“You always look like shit. I just wanted to live here,” Eddie replied automatically. They all laughed, and Eddie felt himself chuckle along with them.</p><p>“I can always count on you for your honesty,” Richie said and kissed his temple. Eddie smiled at that and automatically reached up for the hand draped over his chest.</p><p>“Is anyone else starving? Let go fucking eat something,” Beverly urged. Ben nodded in agreement.</p><p>“I’m pretty hungry too. The second flight wasn’t that long, so they only gave me peanuts,” Ben replied. Eddie and Richie nodded so they headed back to the car in the parking lot.</p><p>     Richie drove them to the restaurant not too far from the airport so Beverly and Ben could sit in the back. Their energy was very calm and collected, and it was nice watching them interact. Ben was just so sweet to Beverly, and Richie knew her history with dating. Many boys and girls who didn’t treat her right, and bruises that made him furious. Bevvy didn’t deserve any of that. She deserved someone who would treat her right, and the way Ben looked at her told Richie he knew that too.</p><p>     They arrived at the restaurant and was seated fairly quickly. Eddie sat with Richie on one side of the booth, and Beverly sat with Ben on the other side. The waitress served their drinks and took their order, and Richie quickly got up to go to the restroom after she left for the kitchen. Eddie looked back to Ben once he left and cleared his throat.</p><p>“Doctor…I mean, Ben…can I ask you something?” He spoke. Ben nodded and smiled.</p><p>“Of course, Eddie. You can ask me anything,” he said. Eddie took a deep breath and looked at the table.</p><p>“I…I care about Richie a lot. He…he told me last night that he’s been having the same dream about…a-about losing me back in Paris. He mentioned something you said about taking me with him, so…maybe just tell him that he did a really good job down there and that…that everything is okay? I think it would mean a lot coming from you,” Eddie said. Ben seemed a little surprised to hear Eddie ask that, but nodded nonetheless.</p><p>“Sure, of course. Absolutely. I’d love to help Richie in any way I can. He really helped us crack the Paris mission. After we got you home they were so distracted by the break out they didn’t even notice how much information we got out of them,” Ben said.</p><p>“That’s wonderful,” Beverly said softly and hooked her arm around Ben’s. Eddie looked at where they were touching and then looked to Beverly.</p><p>“He and I shared a room last night,” he announced. Beverly looked back at Eddie and nodded with a smile, but Ben looked surprised again.</p><p>“Yeah, I remember waking you up. How was it?” She asked. Eddie blushed and shifted uncomfortably in his seat.</p><p>“It was…i-it was nice. Um…I just…I’d like to talk to Theresa about it on Monday, and…I think I’d rather have that session alone,” he told her. This time Beverly was surprised, but nodded regardless.</p><p>“Yeah, that’s totally fine. Uh…are you sure you‘re comfortable without some translation?” She asked. Eddie thought for a moment.</p><p>“Maybe…I dunno, I just…I don’t think it’s something you should hear about,” he confessed.</p><p>“Is everything okay between you two?” Ben asked. Eddie nodded eagerly. More than okay. It was fantastic. It was just…so new.</p><p>“I’m just…nervous…I think,” Eddie replied.</p><p>“How so?” Bev asked. Eddie shook his head.</p><p>“It’s hard to describe…I just didn’t like being away from him this morning.”</p><p>“Separation anxiety after something you and Richie went through is totally normal, Eddie. After what you went through with him, I don’t doubt that it’s hard to be alone at all. They kept you very isolated down there,” Ben said. Eddie nodded.</p><p>“It’s because I’m gay…incase you didn’t know that. Theresa, my therapist, says I should say it out loud more so it doesn’t upset me,” Eddie announced. Beverly smiled and nodded, remembering the exact session he was talking about and remembering how nervous he was to say it for the fist time in a kind way to himself.</p><p>“I’m very proud of you, Eddie. You’ve come a long way,” Ben said. Eddie smiled back at him and nodded too.</p><p>“I uh…I want to share a room with Richie, but…I don’t know how to ask him. I want to see him more, but I also want to be there when he has those bad dreams he told me about,” Eddie confessed.</p><p>“I think the best thing to do is to just tell him like that,” Beverly assured him and reached for his hand. Eddie accepted it and appreciated the warmth.</p><p>“I honestly think all you have to do is just knock on his door and tell him you’re moving in. He’d probably really like that,” Ben said. Beverly laughed at that, and the rest of them chuckled with her. Her laugh was infectious.</p><p>“Oh yeah, he’ll definitely like that,” she agreed.</p><p>“I dunno. I think I’ll just ask him,” Eddie replied.</p><p>“Ask who what?” Richie asked as he slid back into the booth. Eddie blushed and turned away, but Ben and Beverly shrugged knowingly.</p><p>“No clue. What were we talking about again?” Bev asked. Ben shook his head.</p><p>“I can’t remember for the life of me. I’m drawing a blank,” Ben replied. Richie looked completely offended.</p><p>“You little rats know exactly what you guys were talking about! C’mon tell me!” Richie said. Bev and Ben laughed, and Eddie hooked his arm around Richie just like he saw Beverly do. Richie automatically touched his arm with his other hand and moved ever so slightly closer.</p><p>“You guys suck. C’mon, Eddie, you’ll tell me, right?” Richie said nudging him. Eddie blinked up at him and smiled at how close he looked to a begging puppy. He shook his head.</p><p>“I can’t remember,” he replied.</p><p>“Not you too!” Richie groaned and buried his face in his hands. </p><p>     The three of them laughed, and Eddie tried to pull his hands away so he could press a kiss to his cheek. Once he succeeded Richie turned his head to kiss his forehead and they looked at each other for a moment. In that moment Eddie fully appreciated how much he adored Richie Tozier, and Richie Tozier looked at him like he was his whole entire world. In that moment, he might as well have been.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. 020</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>There’s still some smut in here!</p>
<p>(Lose handjobs and more dry humping lol)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>     It took Eddie a while before he found the guts to approach Richie about sharing a room. Ben had been visiting for almost a full week when he tried to ask, but he quickly chickened out and they went about their day normally. So far with Ben in the house they were a lot more active. Ben liked to go for walks, and being completely surrounded by forests made him eager to explore. They went on a hike almost everyday, and they drove into town more often to show Ben around. Richie apparently grew up in Washington when he was little before moving to Maine in his teens. He showed them all his favorite spots when he was younger, but it mostly consisted of candy shops and the arcade that was miraculously still standing.</p>
<p>     Every night that week Eddie wanted to knock on his door and bring it up. He wanted to confess how lonely he felt at night now that he has felt the comfort of sleeping with someone. His body craved the affection, and cuddling on the couch during movie time just wasn’t enough. He wanted to fall asleep with Richie and wake up with him again and again. There was nothing that made the ache in his heart go away, and he just missed him.</p>
<p>     Eddie stood outside Richie’s door for the fifth time that week, and nervously played with his pyjama shirt. He felt his heart race as he raised his fist to knock, but he immediately put it down as he felt a wave of hot nervous energy flash through him. His lungs felt tight, and he was about to turn and leave again like he did every night, but this time the door opened and he was met with Richie standing and staring at Eddie. Eddie started back with wide eyes and he opened his mouth to say something, but all words were lost to him.</p>
<p>“Eddie,” Richie said, but he didn’t say anything else.</p>
<p>“I…I was just…um, cold…” he felt dumb saying it, but it was the first thing that came to mind. Richie frowned.</p>
<p>“You’re cold? The heat should be on,” he said. Eddie nodded.</p>
<p>“I-it is, it’s just…it’s not…warm enough,” Eddie said. Richie blinked a couple times, and then licked his lips.</p>
<p>“I…the heat isn’t on in here, but…if you want, you can…you can sleep with me,” he invited. Eddie felt himself smile at that and nodded. </p>
<p>“I’d like that,” he said. Richie smiled back and stepped aside to allow Eddie to walk in. He did so, and Richie closed the door behind him.</p>
<p>“I was actually about to go downstairs and grab another blanket, but with you I think I’ll be okay now,” Richie said as he crawled back into bed. His lamp was on, and Eddie stood awkwardly at the foot of the bed.</p>
<p>“I thought I kept you cool,” Eddie replied. Richie chuckled and sat up so his back was against the bed frame.</p>
<p>“You keep me at the perfect temperature,” he told him. </p>
<p>     Eddie bit his lip and walked a little closer. He had decided to wear just his boxers that night, and he could feel the goose bumps popping up on his bare thighs. Richie’s eyes instantly flicked down to his naked skin, and then back to his face which was bright red again.</p>
<p>“I think I know why you’re cold, Eds. You’re not wearing any pants,” Richie pointed out as he reached for the others hand. Eddie blushed deeper and accepted his hand, and came closer following the pull of Richie’s arm.</p>
<p>“…maybe I didn’t want to wear pants,” Eddie said coyly. He was close enough now that Richie could touch his waist, and he did as Eddie climbed into the bed and carefully straddled his hips.</p>
<p>“Why would you not want to wear pants?” Richie whispered. Eddie cupped his face and kissed him gently on the lips.</p>
<p>“So it’ll be easier for you to touch me,” he replied. Richie wrapped his arms around Eddie’s waist and pulled them flushed against each other.</p>
<p>“Really?” He hummed tilting his head up to speak into Eddie’s mouth. Eddie hummed with delight when he felt that lovely friction once again and nodded.</p>
<p>“Yes…I want you to touch me again. I miss it. I miss you,” he said as he held onto Richie’s shoulders and started moving his hips like he did the first time. Richie clenched his jaw and let out a grunt as he held Eddie with his hands on his waist.</p>
<p>“God, Eddie…I love it when you say that,” Richie huffed.</p>
<p>“That I miss you?” Eddie questioned. Richie nodded. “I do. I miss you every night. Going to bed hasn’t been the same since I shared one with you,” he confessed. Richie breathed heavily and touched down to Eddie’s thighs.</p>
<p>“I’m glad I’m not the only one. It’s so fucking empty without you here,” Richie murmured. Eddie felt his heart swell at that and kissed him again.</p>
<p>“Touch me more, please. I want you,” he said sounding desperate. Richie nodded and dug his hands under Eddie’s shirt. He then pushed it up and off his body, and Eddie pulled off Richie’s shirt too.</p>
<p>“You’re so beautiful,” Richie told him while taking in his almost naked body. Eddie blushed at that and kissed him instead.</p>
<p>“Richie…” he moaned as he rocked his hips again. Richie groaned at the sound and gripped his hips so he could roll his own up against him. Eddie gasped and still managed to move his body against Richie’s in a pleasurable way.</p>
<p>“So cute…you’re the cutest,” Richie said watching the way Eddie’s face pinched from the pleasure. He noticed where Richie was staring, and hid his face in Richie’s neck. He chuckled, and Eddie started to kiss his neck like Richie did to him less than a week ago. “What do you want to do? I’ll do anything you want,” Richie told him.</p>
<p>“Just…touch me…” Eddie whimpered.</p>
<p>“Where? Here?” Richie asked ghosting his hand over Eddie’s cock hard in his boxers. He shivered at the lightest contact, and whined when Richie pulled it away.</p>
<p>“That feels good,” he panted and tried to rock his hips in a way that recreated that direct contact.</p>
<p>“I got you, baby,” Richie cooed and placed his hand more firmly against the bulge. Eddie whined again, and pushed his hips against Richie’s hand.</p>
<p>“Oh, fuck…” Eddie gasped. Richie smirked at that and kissed him.</p>
<p>“Let me pull it out?” Richie asked gently. Eddie nodded.</p>
<p>“Yours too,” he added eagerly. </p>
<p>     Richie bit his lip and watched as Eddie slipped his fingers into Richie’s boxers and touched him for the first time. He couldn’t keep the groan at bay, and let his head flop back as Eddie pulled him out and started touching and stroking him. His own hand fumbled as he tried to pull Eddie up, but he ended up just groping him through his underwear before Eddie paused and pulled his dick out himself. Richie huffed and pulled him closer before wrapping his hand around both of them. Eddie let out a loud moan and then a couple quieter ones as Richie touched him, and then he kissed the other man senseless as he jerked them both to completion.</p>
<p>     They slumped against each other as they caught their breath, and Eddie closed his eyes in pure bliss as Richie pressed kisses to his neck and his shoulder. When they finally had the energy to move, Richie set Eddie down on the bed and got up to grab a towel from the bathroom. He came back with it damp, and used it to clean off their bellies that they got cum all over. Richie then gave Eddie a sweet kiss on the lips, and smiled down at him before crawling back into bed with him.</p>
<p>“You could’ve just said you wanted to bang, y’know,” Richie said with a giddy smile. Eddie blushed and glared at him.</p>
<p>“That wasn’t my only reason of coming over here! Dumb ass,” Eddie grumbled. Richie laughed and pulled him closer.</p>
<p>“It’s okay if it was, Eds. We are men with needs!” He replied. Eddie rolled his eyes and shook his head.</p>
<p>“No, I…I really did miss you,” he said seriously. Richie’s smile dropped a little, but it was still a smile. A softer one.</p>
<p>“I missed you too…I dunno why, but…after you left I suddenly felt so uncomfortable being alone in my room. It almost felt like—“</p>
<p>“Like I was back there,” Eddie finished for him. Richie nodded.</p>
<p>“Like I didn’t know when you’d come back and save me from the fucking shit they’d do to me,” he said with his smile intact.</p>
<p>“It felt like…like I was back in that room…cleaning my tools and getting ready to move on to the next prisoner. Like nothing had ever changed,” Eddie recalled. Richie pushed some of his hair out of his face.</p>
<p>“You’re never going back there, Eds. Not if I have something to say about it. You’re safe here,” he whispered. Eddie nodded.</p>
<p>“You’re safe too…I’ll never let you go,” he replied. Richie dropped his hand from Eddie’s face so their fingers could intertwine, and pressed his forehead against his lover’s.</p>
<p>“We keep each other alive. For as long as I can, I’ll keep you alive and happy,” Richie promised. Eddie squeezed his hand.</p>
<p>“Me too, Richie. I want to keep you alive with me…”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry for the inconsistant updates. There’s just been a lot of exciting grown up things going on in my life. I’ve been working weekends at this kids salon as a hairdresser and they just added Monday evenings to my schedule. I also just did a practical interview for a spa I really like and it went really good! It sounds like they’re going to take me on their team, so I’ll be working close to full time if they’ll take me. It’s just really exciting to finally be working in the industry. I’ve been in beauty school for so long aaaaa</p>
<p>Anyways, if you’re not super interested in that you probably just skipped past it. I’ll try to update daily again starting today, so expect another update soon! I hope my adulting was interesting enough to read lol.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. 021</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>     Waking up was different with Eddie by his side. It was a good different. A kind of different that Richie didn’t even know he needed until that first time Eddie came over to comfort him. Now Richie was more likely to sleep through the night, and if he did wake up in the middle of it Eddie was there stroking his hair until they fell asleep again. It was better than waking up gasping for Bev, and it filled a giant Eddie sized hole he had felt ever since he escaped and settled back home. He finally had Eddie tight in his arms, and, most importantly, he wanted to be there with Richie too. There was only one thing that could ruin it, and that thing was named Bill Denbrough.</p><p>     Richie’s phone went off while they made breakfast. He was too distracted pressing kisses to Eddie’s ears and cheeks that it ran out and then started again. Eventually Bev had to peel herself off the couch and away from Ben to manually hand the phone to Richie. He handed her a plate of pancakes in return and then finally answered the phone.</p><p>“Richie Tozier speaking,” he greeted cheerfully while holding Eddie closer to him by his waist. Eddie had been bright red all morning from Richie’s affections, but he wasn’t uncomfortable. That was the most important thing.</p><p>“God, f-f-fucking took you long enough,” Bill grumbled on the other line.</p><p>“Boss man! How you doing?” Richie asked and unwound his arm from Eddie to flip another couple pancakes. Eddie sneaked a kiss of his own to Richie’s jaw, and he immediately reciprocated with three to his cheek.</p><p>“It’s t-taken us a while, obviously, b-but we’ve finally gotten a f-f-few houses for Eddie to l-look at,” Bill told him. Richie nearly dropped his phone and the spatula. Right. This was only temporary.</p><p>“Richie! Be careful,” Eddie chided and took the spatula from him. Richie let him do that and watched as Eddie took over for him.</p><p>“H-hello? Rich, are you th-there?” Bill said. Richie shook his head and ran his free fingers through his hair.</p><p>“Yeah, I’m here. Sorry.”</p><p>“N-no problem. I’ll t-text you the addresses. They’re all r-relatively close to you. Y-you should probably h-h-help him look since it’s all so n-new to him,” Bill advised.</p><p>“You got it, boss,” Richie replied and continued to watch Eddie cook the pancakes for him. His chest felt tight, but not in a good way. In a panicked way. Eddie was supposed to move out. Why was that so hard for him to wrap his head around?</p><p>“A-also, dont p-pressure him, but if we c-could get and answer b-by the end of the w-w-week that would be ideal,” Bill said. Richie felt like each word Bill stuttered to him was like a kick to the stomach. He wanted Eddie to move out in a <em>week?</em> He hated that idea.</p><p>“Gotcha…I’ll…I’ll let him know,” he replied sounding a lot more down than when he answered.</p><p>“T-tell everyone I say h-hi. I’ll t-t-talk to you later,” Bill said. Richie said goodbye back as the line ended, and he turned his phone off and stuffed it in his pocket.</p><p>“Was that Bill?” Eddie asked looking over his shoulder. </p><p>     It was such a perfect sight too. Eddie just so casually in Richie’s kitchen cooking breakfast with him. His puppy dog eyes as wide as ever as he waited for Richie’s answer. He nodded and stepped closer so he could wrap his arms around Eddie’s waist from behind.</p><p>“Yeah…” he murmured as he pressed soft kisses to Eddie’s neck. Usually he had some sort of physical reaction when Richie did that, but this time he only shivered a little as he waited for Richie to say more.</p><p>“Did he want something?” He asked.</p><p>“We have some houses to look at this week…and by the end of the week you’ll have a new home,” Richie said sounding less than excited about it himself. This time the spatula did drop. Eddie scrambled to pick it up and walked to the sink to wash it off. Richie let him go, but noticed how uneasy he looked. “Bill said I should go with you…uh…”</p><p>“Okay…when do we start?” Eddie asked. Richie cleared his throat to cover up how upset he was to hear Eddie diving right in. There was no protest or argument. Perhaps he really did want a place of his own. Richie couldn’t blame him, and he wouldn’t dream of stopping Eddie from doing what he wants.</p><p>“Um, as soon as Bill sends the addresses. We could go later after lunch,” Richie suggested. Eddie nodded and wiped off the spatula before returning to the pancakes.</p><p>“Sounds good.”</p><p>     They went on another hike with Ben after they ate. It was extremely cold since they were settled right in the middle of winter. There was a thick layer of snow from the past month of on and off snowy nights. That and last night was a little heavier than usual, and spread a fresh coat on top of the slush that mixed with the hiking trails. It was fun, and a nice distraction from the news Richie was told that morning. Still, he took his time walking behind Eddie and appreciating all the time they had together. Living apart, they wouldn’t have the same amount of time.</p><p>“Isn’t the snow kinda romantic?” Beverly called from the front. Ben always let her lead. She had the best sense of direction out of all of them, so it made sense, but it was also because he was absolutely in love with her. Richie could see it, and he was certain Bev could see it too.</p><p>“I guess you could say that!” Richie called back, and smiled as she paused to pick up some snow and sprinkle it over Ben.</p><p>“Doctor Winters in his natural habitat!” She teased. Ben laughed and wrapped her up in a hug.</p><p>“That’s so gross. She has no idea where that snow came from or what has touched it,” Eddie grumbled. Richie chuckled and came up behind him to kiss his cheek.</p><p>“You’re cute when you worry about stupid stuff,” Richie said. Eddie blushed and glared at him over his shoulder. He crossed his arms.</p><p>“It’s not stupid! The amount of dirt and bugs that could be mixed in there is disgusting!” Eddie replied defensively. Richie reached down and picked up a clean looking piece of snow from the untouched side of the trail and popped it in his mouth. Eddie’s eyes went wide. “That’s so disgusting! What is wrong with you?” Richie showed the other man his tongue to show the snow was completely gone.</p><p>“All clean. Good as new,” he said and leaned in for a kiss on the lips.</p><p>“No way! Not with all those germs in there. Disgusting!” Eddie protested holding him back with his hands on Richie’s chest. The other man laughed and instead kissed his forehead and cheek. “Gross! <em>Gross!</em>”</p><p>“Richie, what are you doing to Eddie now?” Beverly asked sounding like a disapproving babysitter. Ben was laughing the whole time watching them, but kept his arms around Beverlys waist.</p><p>“I’m just showing him my love and affection!” Richie assured her and kissed his nose. Eddie freaked out and finally managed to scramble away.</p><p>“He ate the snow off the ground! He’s gross,” Eddie explained as he caught up to them. Richie trailed behind, and seamlessly slipped their gloves hands together. Eddie didn’t protest, but he kept his annoyed scowl. Bev laughed.</p><p>“The snow is perfectly safe, Eds! No need to worry,” she assured him. Richie wiggled his eyebrows at that, and Eddie only groaned.</p><p>     Throughout the course of their hike, Eddie ended up in front with Beverley with Richie and Ben walking behind them. It was relatively quiet due to how breathtaking the forest was in the snow. Richie stuffed his hands in his pockets as he took in a breath of the crisp winter air, and smiled when he noticed Eddie taking in the scenery.</p><p>“He’s a really awesome guy,” Ben spoke up. Richie looked over as Ben came up beside him rather than behind, and nodded.</p><p>“Yeah. He’s a real trooper. Moving to an entirely different country. Learning a new and difficult language. Going to therapy and working on his issues and his trauma. Hell, he’s done more than I have with that. I think I had a therapist for three sessions before I got distracted and quit,” Richie replied. Ben gave a soft chuckle and nodded too.</p><p>“I knew he could do anything he wanted to. Being undercover can be so exhausting, and just meeting him and getting to know him a little bit was nice. He didn’t care about anything but making sure his patients were well,” Ben said. Richie felt a little somber at the mention of what happened in Paris, but tried not to show it. He probably failed.</p><p>“He was like…one of the only things that kept me going. That, and my promise to you to take him with me,” Richie spoke so softly anyone would’ve been able to call out that he was sad to talk about it again. Ben was quiet for a moment.</p><p>“Richie, I want you to know that you really did amazing down there,” he said. Richie faked a smile and shook his head.</p><p>“Nah, it’s not that big of a deal,” he replied.</p><p>“No, really, Richie. You endured so much, and you didn’t spill anything. You managed to keep your head clear through the escape mission, and your ability to befriend Eddie was really what made everything work. You kept your promise, Rich. You made sure he was safe and could escape with us,” Ben insisted. Richie felt himself shiver at the memory of the man with the wrench. How close he was to just bashing Eddie’s skull open. He couldn’t let that happen.</p><p>“I think I needed him more than he needed me,” Richie whispered. They had slowed down a little bit, but Bev and Eddie were still in sight.</p><p>“Maybe, but right now I think you guys need each other pretty equally,” Ben said. Richie sighed and gave a reluctant nod. That was objectively true. “Eddie asked me to say something to you, y’know? He was worried about you, and he felt like me saying something would help you. Was he right?” Ben asked. Richie couldn’t hold back a chuckle and resumed watching Eddie talk and laugh with Beverly ahead of them.</p><p>“He usually is.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. 022</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>These next couple chapters are a little on the short side bare w me pls</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>     Eddie became distant once they started touring the houses. Just in general, not just from Richie. Although Richie was the one who felt it the most since they spent so much time together. Or at least they used to. That whole week Eddie was very quiet. Even the realtors spoke mainly to Richie because he was so quiet. When he did speak it was strictly in Russian, so Richie had to translate for him. He didn’t try to push him to speak English because he knew Eddie only avoided it when he couldn’t handle it. He just wished Eddie would tell him what he couldn’t handle.</p><p>     The first house was a little more north than Richie’s. It was the closest one to him, and it was small enough for one person to live comfortably. The minute they walked in, Richie could tell Eddie hated it. Everything was just so…small. Even Richie was starting to feel uncomfortable from how much the rooms reminded him of the cell he was forced into. Judging by the way Eddie huddled with his jacket and anxiously looked for exits, he wasn’t a fan either. Too small. Too similar. Too much.</p><p>     House number two was much much bigger. It was in a suburb in the outskirts of Seattle, and it was a little further away from Richie. The travel wasn’t too bad, but the other house was closer. It seemed to be unsaid that that was the only good thing about house number one. This second house was intended for a nuclear family. One master bedroom, three extra bedrooms, three bathrooms, two showers, and two stories. It was overwhelming walking in, and Richie felt a slight bit of dread from how much it reminded him of his family home growing up. The floor plan was completely different, but just the knowledge that this was meant to build a family in gave him a weird feeling.</p><p>“And here is the dinning room. It’s extra big for all the future little ones I’m sure you two will have,” the realtor said as they walked in. Richie blushed at that assumption, but Eddie merely furrowed his brows in confusion.</p><p>“Uh…I’m sorry, what?” Richie asked. The realtor, Becky, smiled wide.</p><p>“Kids? I’m sure you two must be very excited. Are you waiting on the adoption agency, or are you just looking at the house before you show the little ones?” She asked. Eddie was now blushing as well, but also looked more confused.</p><p>“Uh, we don’t have any kids,” Richie told her. She nodded.</p><p>“That’s totally fine! It takes a lot time to get approved for adoption, gay or straight. It’s always nice to see a couple buy their family home ahead of time,” Becky continued. Richie glanced at Eddie and their eyes met. His ever growing confusion would be obvious to anyone…except for Becky apparently. Richie returned his attention to the realtor.</p><p>“Sorry, but we’re not married and we don’t plan to have kids,” Richie informed her. Her smile weakened in a bit of shock, but she quickly widened it again.</p><p>“No problem! Engaged then? When’s the big day?” She continued.</p><p>“Engaged? Us? That’s not possible. It’s a crime,” Eddie said. It was the first time Eddie had spoken to a realtor since they started looking. Richie’s eyes went wide as he realized Eddie wasn’t aware that gay marriage was legal in America. Becky looked appalled.</p><p>“A crime? Oh, no! Gay marriage has been legalized since 2015! Ever since it was legalized here, gay couples have been one of my biggest clientele,” she replied.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Eddie, I thought you knew that,” Richie said. Eddie blinked up at him and then down at the ground.</p><p>“…it’s…legal?” He murmured. Richie nodded and rubbed his shoulder.</p><p>“Yeah. It’s not a crime here,” Richie replied and gently kissed the top of his head. Eddie felt stiff under his lips. They hadn’t been as affectionate as usual, so it made sense that he was stressed rather than relieved.</p><p>“I think…I want to go home,” Eddie murmured. Richie nodded.</p><p>“Okay…we can go,” he assured him. He then turned back to Becky and smiled. “Sorry, he’s from out of the country. Thank you so much for showing us around. We’ll definitely think about it,” he told her. Becky gave a sympathetic smile and nodded.</p><p>“Of course. I’ll walk you guys out.”</p><p>     The drive back home was quiet. Quieter than usual. Every so often Richie would glance at Eddie and he would always find him dozing off looking at the dashboard. Not the road. Not the trees. Just the dashboard. It was odd because Eddie liked to watch the trees pass them and thicken as they drove further into the forest. He liked looking at the green leaves and the brown bark. He shared that much the last time they drove back, but he just stared at the grey dashboard in front of him while he seemed to be thinking very hard about something. Not once did he tell Richie what he was thinking about. He just stared.</p><p>     Once they got home Eddie made a beeline for his room. Richie wanted to follow, but figured if Eddie didn’t tell him what was wrong in the car then he probably wouldn’t say anything soon. Still, he wanted to follow for selfish reasons as well. Richie missed Eddie. He missed his constant company, and the nights they spent together. He missed his smile and his kisses and their playful banter. He missed holding him and feeling safe with him. The past week he’s just felt…lonely.</p><p>“Trouble in paradise?” Ben asked as he noticed Richie pouting in the kitchen. He sighed as he brewed a pot of coffee and shrugged.</p><p>“I dunno. He’s not…he’s not really talking to me,” he murmured. “You want a cup?” He asked. Ben nodded and sat down on one of the stools.</p><p>“Sure. Black,” he requested. Richie nodded back and grabbed a second mug from the cupboard. “Do you think it’s something you said?”</p><p>“I think it’s something to do with the houses. I mean, he won’t say anything, because fuck me, right? But he only started to get really…reserved when Bill called about the houses. Today is a little different though,” he replied.</p><p>“How so?” Ben asked.</p><p>“Uh…the realtor lady thought we were married and having kids because it was a suburb home, and I guess I forgot to tell Eddie that gay marriage is legal here? I dunno, to be honest. He won’t talk to me anymore,” Richie replied sounding absolutely gutted. Ben frowned at that.</p><p>“How about I try talking to him? Maybe he’s not sure how you’ll react to it, and he’s scared,” he suggested. Richie shrugged.</p><p>“I mean…sure. Go for it. I just want him to be…<em>himself</em> again,” he said desperately. Ben nodded and stood up.</p><p>“I’ll be back.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. 023</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>“Eddie?” Ben cautiously knocked on the door as he slowly opened it. </p><p>     When Ben walked in he was slightly surprised to see Eddie crying, but he tried not to show it. Big watery brown eyes looked up at him, and Eddie quickly sniffled and wiped his face of all snot and tears. Ben closed the door behind him and slowly approached him on his bed. Eddie said nothing as Ben sat next to him, and then sniffled again when Ben looked at him.</p><p>“Hey, uh…Richie is really worried about you, dude. I’m worried too, but I didn’t know how bad it was until Richie said something. Is there something wrong between you two?” He asked. Eddie shook his head and furrowed his brows.</p><p>“No, I…I’m just…” he struggled to speak clearly, an his English was coated in his thick Russian accent that only got thicker when he had to concentrate through the emotion.</p><p>“It’s okay, Eddie. You don’t have to speak English, okay? I might not be as good as Richie, but I am fluent enough to work for their government,” Ben reminded him. Eddie nodded and cleared his throat.</p><p>“<span class="u">I didn’t know…I didn’t know it was legal to marry a man here…I…I was always told it was a crime everywhere in the eyes of god</span>,” Eddie spoke softly, but his voice was rough from crying. Ben shook his head.</p><p>“It’s completely legal here. You can even start a family if you wanted to,” Ben assured him. Eddie looked so defeated with his arms hanging off his shoulders like useless sleeves on a clothing hanger.</p><p>“<span class="u">Bill wants me to pick a house to move into by the end of the week</span>,” he announced. Ben furrowed his brows. He remembered Richie mentioning that a little before they visited the first house, but he didn’t mention the deadline.</p><p>“That’s a little extreme…we should definitely talk to him about extending that,” he said. Eddie shook his head and played with the sleeves of his sweater.</p><p>“<span class="u">Time won’t matter. I hate them. I hated them before I saw them, and even more after I saw them. I don’t like it</span>,” Eddie confessed.</p><p>“Don’t like what?” Ben asked.</p><p>“…I don’t like…moving…” he murmured. Ben’s face relaxed a little when he Hyatt the masked the connection.</p><p>“You mean…you…” Eddie choked back a sob, but it just sounded painful.</p><p>“<span class="u">I don’t want to leave him! But I have to! I can’t just pretend that everything is okay when the only person I’ve ever loved wants me to move out!</span>“ Eddie cried and buried his face in his palms that he covered with his sleeves.</p><p>“Whoa! Whoa, Eddie! That’s absurd! I highly doubt Richie wants you to move out,” Ben assured him placing a friendly hand on his knee. Eddie shook his head and sobbed again.</p><p>“<span class="u">H-he just said we should go to the houses. He didn’t say anything about living with me in them, or me staying here with him! He’s just doing what Bill told him to do. I’m just a job to him!</span>“ Eddie rambled. His voice getting weaker with each word. Ben shook his head.</p><p>“Eddie, there’s no way Richie wouldn’t want to stay with you wherever you guys go! He’s just…I’m guessing he thought you probably want to live by yourself. He’s a very big believer in if you love something, annoy the shit out of it, but inevitably let it go. Y’know? So if <em>you </em>wanted to move out, he’d let you because he loves you too, Eddie,” Ben assured him moving his hand to rub his back. Eddie looked up at him, his face red from crying.</p><p>“You think…he loves me?” He whispered hoarsely.</p><p>“Eddie, he’s crazy for you,” Ben said.</p><p>“…I never said I wanted to move out,” Eddie murmured.</p><p>“But did you say anything against looking at the houses?” Ben asked. Eddie looked away.</p><p>“I thought…he wanted me to look at them…since he suggested going with me,” Eddie answered.</p><p>“Eddie…I think you should talk to Richie about this,” Ben told him. Eddie was about to protest with wide eyes, but Ben best him to speaking. “He’s miserable because <em>you’re</em> miserable, Eds. All he wants is for you to be happy.”</p><p>“I don’t want that! I want him to want me!” Eddie snapped.</p><p>“Then <em>tell </em>him that,” Ben urged gently. Eddie took a shaky breath and started sobbing again. Ben quickly wrapped him up in a hug and rubbed his back. “Richie would do anything for you, okay? You just have to tell him.”</p><p>“I love him…I’m so disgusting, I love him…” Eddie sobbed.</p><p>“You’re not disgusting, Eds. You’re human. Human beings are allowed to want things. Loving someone is never disgusting,” Ben cooed. Eddie continued to cry into his shoulder as the negative thoughts clouded his head. He wanted to fight them so desperately with the techniques Theresa taught him, but it was hard to figure out how to replace them.</p><p>“I miss him…<span class="u">I miss him so much. I feel so bad. I just want him</span>,” Eddie blubbered.</p><p>“You already have him, okay? You really just need to talk to him,” Ben replied. Eddie sniffled again and gently pushed himself away from Ben. He was always nice and his hug was comforting, but it wasn’t the hug that Eddie wanted.</p><p>“I’m sorry…I made you all worry…you and Bev and Richie,” he mumbled. Ben shook his head.</p><p>“Don’t apologize, okay? It’s okay to be low. We worry because we care. We’re here for you,” Ben told him. Eddie blinked his last few tears and managed to smile up at him.</p><p>“Thank you…”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>     Richie stood in the kitchen waiting for Bill to pick up his phone. He had called at least five times, and he wouldn’t let up until that stuttering son of a bitch answered his fucking cellular. Finally, after his sixth attempt, he finally got an answer.</p><p>“Jesus Christ, hello?” Stan’s voice answered. A little bit of Richie’s anger melted when Stan answered, and he managed to smile.</p><p>“Stan the man! Fuck, it’s been so long. I just realized I’ve completely forgotten to call you,” Richie said.</p><p>“It’s okay, Rich. I’ve been busy at work anyways. Although a text wouldn’t have hurt,” he replied. Richie chuckled.</p><p>“That’s absolutely right, sir. Is Bill there? I have something important to talk to him about,” Richie was aware of how desperate he sounded, but he was in fact desperate to talk to him.</p><p>“He’s been asleep, Rich. It’s been really stressful without you and Beverly,” Stan told him. Richie felt a bit of guilt, but he ignored it as he reminded himself that Stan wasn’t trying to make him feel guilty.</p><p>“Fuck, I’m sorry. I forgot about the time zones,” Richie sighed.</p><p>“It’s okay. Do you want me to wake him up?”</p><p>“No, just…when he does wake up could you ask him to call me as soon as possible? It’s about the houses for Eddie. I don’t think we’ll have an answer as soon as bill wants one. I think it’s stressing him out,” Richie told him.</p><p>“Of course. I’ll leave a reminder on his phone for him,” Stan assured him.</p><p>“Thank you, Stan. It means a lot to me,” Richie said.</p><p>“No problem. I hope you’re taking care of yourself, Rich,” Stan said. Richie sighed and glance upstairs towards Eddie’s room.</p><p>“You too, Stan. I’ll talk to you soon.”</p><p>“Sounds good. Goodnight.”</p><p>“Night…”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Apparently ppl tweet about me???? You can find me at @n0t_an_artist but it’s mostly political shit and I log in a couple times a year oof</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. 024</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>We’re getting close to the end aaaaa. Chapter 25 and 26 are just more fluff and a little smut, and 27 is the epilogue! I’m so excited for you guys to read it all aaaaaaa!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>     Eventually Richie settled down enough to watch a movie with Beverly on the couch. She was always the best listener, and took in everything Richie was stressing about. It was concerning to hear Eddie crying from his room, but it quickly died down. It was a good idea for Ben to go in. They probably bonded a lot while they worked together, and Richie was glad he offered. He only hoped good things came out of it as he mindlessly flipped through the endless movie titles Netflix had to offer. </p><p>     Bev yawned a couple times before checking her phone and saying goodnight. Richie thought nothing of it as he nodded back and finally settled on watching The Princess Diaries. He remembered watching it once growing up, and he clicked it automatically when the cursor hovered over it. It wasn’t long until he heard footsteps coming back down the stairs and he assumed it was Beverly returning for a cup of tea. He said nothing under that assumption, and settled deeper into the couch as the movie started. Then he saw Eddie come closer from the corner of his eyes, and he quickly paused it and sat up to look at him.</p><p>     There was definitely something different now that he talked with Ben. He seemed more outwardly nervous, but less in his own head. His eyes were red and still a little glassy, but he was clearly done crying. He still sniffled a little, but he didn’t care to hide the fact that he was bawling earlier since he was certain Eddie knew he heard him. Richie opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out but air. He missed him so much.</p><p>“Can I…can I sit with you?” Eddie asked. His voice sounded absolutely wreaked, and the fact that he had to ask was pitiful. Richie instantly nodded.</p><p>“Yes. Of course, yes. You don’t need to ask,” Richie replied. He hoped he sounded desperate. Maybe that would pull Eddie closer. </p><p>     The shorter man nodded and stepped around him to sit on his usual cuddle side. Richie welcomed him with open arms, and held him close before Eddie could ask for that too. They settled into their normal position, and they both let out a breath they hadn’t realized they were keeping in. Richie ran his fingers through Eddie’s hair and kissed the top of his head over and over before pulling him tighter against his chest and cradling the back of his head. Eddie squeezed him in return and nuzzled his neck in his own attempts to get even closer, and stayed there for a moment.</p><p>     It was quiet. This time the quiet was different. There was definitely something unsaid, but it felt more like it would be said eventually once they felt like it. For now they held each other and the silence as Richie kissed Eddie’s head, and Eddie took deep breaths while listening to Richie’s heart beat. Then Eddie kissed back against Richie’s neck, and moved his arms up against his chest. Richie bit his bottom lip, and allowed his eyes to flutter shut as Eddie continued to kiss and gently lick at his skin.</p><p>“Eds…” he breathed. Eddie’s fingers curled into Richie’s shirt at the sound of his nickname. He continued kissing up to his jaw. “…Eds, I missed you so much,” Richie confessed. Eddie paused against his ear for a second before continuing to the corner of his mouth.</p><p>“Kiss me,” he requested sweetly.</p><p>     Richie absolutely would do anything Eddie asked him to. He would do anything to make Eddie happy, and he would do anything for him. So, when Eddie asked him to kiss him, Richie didn’t hesitate to gently cup his jaw and kiss him. Eddie seemed to instantly melt into it, and Richie moved his hand from Eddie’s jaw to the back of his head again. It easily could’ve turned heated from there, but Richie merely wanted to be closer for the sake of being close. He wanted to feel Eddie’s skin because he was allowing Richie to touch him. His heart was swelling from the ache left behind, and it made sense that he was the only one to soothe it.</p><p>“Richie…” Eddie sighed against his lips. Richie paused to look down at him, and then pressed their foreheads together.</p><p>“Yeah?” He replied. Eddie reached up to gently hold his face.</p><p>“…I don’t…I don’t want to do anything else right now. Can we just…can we just…kiss and…just do this?” He asked hovering over Richie’s mouth. It was clear their lack of distance made it hard for Eddie to concentrate. Richie nodded immediately.</p><p>“Yeah…yeah, absolutely. Anything you want, baby,” Richie assured him. Eddie smiled a little at the nickname and pecked his lips.</p><p>“I missed you too,” Eddie whispered and then kissed him again. Richie smiled at that and returned the affection ten fold.</p><p>     Kissing like that on the couch reminded Richie of what he wanted to do with people he liked in high school. Of course he never did because he was such a chicken shit back then, but he doubted it would feel anything like it felt like doing it with Eddie. Back before his life was an international mess, and back before he met someone he so desperately wanted to call the love of his life. He kissed Eddie with his whole heart, and he was pleased that Eddie kissed back just as enthusiastically. It was still relatively calm, but the desperation was still there underneath it all. There was enough of it that they were breathing hard the next time they broke apart.</p><p>“Fuck, Eddie…you mean so much to me,” Richie whispered. Eddie swallowed hard and moved his hands a little lower. Richie pressed his lips together, and avoided pinning Eddie to the couch as he continued touching lower and lower. “Baby…if you want this to just be kissing…you shouldn’t do that…” he murmured. Eddie looked up at him, and merely touched further down until he met his belt. Richie bit his lip, and Eddie started to undo it. “Eds—“</p><p>“Shh…” Eddie shushed him gently and pulled the belt out of his loops. He then tossed it to the side and kissed his cheek.<br/>“I want to change what we have, Richie,” he whispered as he ran his hands up under his shirt.</p><p>“What do you mean?” Richie asked trying not to focus on how warm Eddie’s hands made him feel.</p><p>“I can’t…I…Richie, I can’t—“</p><p>“Is it all too much? I’m sorry, Eds, I thought you liked everything we did together…I-I thought you were encouraging it. I’m sorry if I—“ he stopped talking when Eddie pouted and shook his head.</p><p>“No, Richie…not that. I just…I like what we have, but I want it to change,” Eddie assured him. Richie swallowed hard. Surely this was it. This was how Eddie was telling him he had to move out.</p><p>“Whatever you need, Eddie. I’m here,” he promised. Eddie sighed and pressed their foreheads together.</p><p>“I…I need more than this…I need…Richie, I need you…please…I want you to do whatever you want to me…I need to know that you <em>want</em> me,” Eddie told him. Richie furrowed his brows and shook his head.</p><p>“Eddie, what…I <em>always </em>want you,” he said. Eddie pouted again and let Richie kiss him gently.</p><p>“You…you’re always so careful with me. Richie, I want more,” Eddie said.</p><p>“Anything. Anything at all,” Richie promised him. Eddie blinked, and the tears were back.</p><p>“Richie…I…” he sniffled and felt his voice get weak again. Richie wiped the tear away as he cradled his face.</p><p>“It’s okay, baby.” Eddie furiously wiped his tears away, and Richie kissed the top of his head.</p><p>“I want…I-I want…” he trailed into a frustrated groan and flung his arms around Richie’s neck. He then sniffled and cried into Richie’s shirt as he clung to him tightly.</p><p>“Anything. Anything, I promise you,” Richie cooed and stroked his hair again.</p><p>“More…more of this…more of <em>you!</em> Richie, I…I want us to be more,” Eddie pleased. Richie nodded and kissed his temple.</p><p>“…Eddie…”</p><p>“<span class="u">I love you, Richie. I don’t want to leave this. I don’t want to leave you…I want us to get married and be together and be happy</span>,” Eddie blurted. Richie felt his heart skip a beat and his lungs stutter as the best thing he could have ever hoped for slipped from his lovers mouth.</p><p>“Fuck, Eddie,” he said choking on a sob of his own as he held Eddie even tighter.</p><p>“<span class="u">I was told I could only marry a woman, and that if I didn’t fix myself I’d never have a family…but I want one. I’ve always wanted one. I want to have a family with you, and I want you to be there with me. I want <em>you</em>, Richie</span>,” Eddie continued as he hid his face in Richie’s neck. Richie felt himself start to cry too, and desperately pulled Eddie off so he could hold his face and kiss him again.</p><p>“Eddie…Eddie, I love you…yes…yes…<em>yes</em>, I want it too,” Richie murmured between kisses. Eddie accepted all the affection Richie showered him in, and they both fell back on the couch with Eddie under Richie. </p><p>“<span class="u">I love you…I never thought I’d be in love with someone</span>…” Eddie said as he kissed Richie back. Richie stopped and pulled away to look Eddie dead in the eyes.</p><p>“I will do everything in my power, okay? I promise you…you don’t have to go <em>anywhere</em>, okay? You can stay right here with me,” Richie promised. Eddie sniffled and placed his hand over Richie’s fast beating heart.</p><p>“I’d do anything for you too, Richie…I hope you know that. I want us to be happy. Me <em>and </em>you,” he said. His voice cracked from all the crying, but Richie adored every word he said and smiled back. He placed his hand over Eddie’s on his chest and rubbed his thumb against his skin.</p><p>“I love you…<em>fuck</em>, Eddie, I love you. It feels so good to say it…I love you,” Richie told him.</p><p>“I’m sorry I was distant…I didn’t…I thought you <em>wanted</em> me to move out. You need to tell me what you <em>want</em>, not what you <em>think</em> I want to hear,” Eddie said bluntly. Richie blinked at that and then nodded.</p><p>“Okay…okay, I will. I don’t want you to move out into some random house when you already have a home here with me. I don’t want you in some tiny place that’ll make you panicky, or a giant family house that’ll only make you feel empty. I want you <em>here</em> with me, and I <em>need</em> you in my life from now on. I can’t…I can’t imagine it without you,” Richie confessed. Eddie let out a giant sigh of relief, and tugged Richie down for a kiss. Richie, of course, kissed him back, and then moved to kiss down his neck. Eddie whimpered as Richie sucked and laved at his skin, and held Richie tight against him.</p><p>“Mmmh…Richie…” he sighed.</p><p>“Marry me, Eds. Marry me and I’ll take you anywhere for the honeymoon. Marry me and we can start a life together. Anything we want. It’s ours,” Richie pleaded even though Eddie was bound to say yes. He still removed himself from Eddie’s neck and wiped his tears away again so he could watch him answer. Eddie blinked up at him with impossibly adorable puppy dog eyes, and gave a shaky smile.</p><p>“Yes…<em>please</em>.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. 025</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Smut and fluff for this chapter and next chapter :0</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>     They kissed on the couch for hours as they calmed down. Slow lips moving together as they held onto each other and squeezed themselves as close to each other as possible. It was mind numbingly blissful to have it all out there. Everything that was worrying them was open for each other to see, and it felt so good to be able to do that. To speak and be spoken to like a person. To be heard and respected and cared for through the hard parts and loved and celebrated through the joyous ones. It was a feeling Eddie was convinced never existed in the first place. It was the stuff of fairy tails. He wasn’t destined for anything like that, and yet there he was. Holding the love of his life as they basically proposed to each other, and it kind of did really feel like a fairy tail.</p><p>     Richie was happy just to touch him. The fact that he could hold him so tightly and kiss him so deeply and commit to him so permanently was a dream come true. He had such a bond to Eddie ever since they escaped together, and he never wanted to let him go. It was easy to love him because he just felt so right for him. Like Eddie was meant to be loved by Richie, and Richie was meant to be completely and utterly enamored by him no matter what he did. They were supposed to love each other, and there was nothing that could’ve prevented that. Even if they didn’t meet during the mission, Richie was convinced he’d meet him some other way. He was everything to him.</p><p>     Kissing was nice. It was soft and warm, and when Richie took his hands away from Eddie’s cheeks to wrap his arms around his waist it was even warmer. Their lips were nearly inseparable. Even when they needed to breath they breathed straight into each others mouth like the grossly in love couple they were. They didn’t stay there long before one of them picked it back up, and even neck kisses were too far away for them. No, they wanted to be close. They wanted to be touching in any way possible, and most of all they wanted each other. It was quite literally hours they spent going between soft fluttery kisses to heavy and intense making out.</p><p>“Richie…mmh…I want…upstairs…” Eddie murmured between kisses. Richie merely continued to kiss him, but eventually slowed a little.</p><p>“Why?” He kissed him deeply again. “I don’t want to stop,” he whispered. Eddie sighed against his lips and pressed his own together as he tried not to moan. He instead drifted his hands back to Richie’s cheeks and gently pulled away.</p><p>“I don’t want to either…but I want to do more,” he whispered. Richie pushed Eddie’s body against his again. Eddie’s thighs had found their way around Richie’s hips a long time ago, and he could feel him half hard in his jeans.</p><p>“I thought you didn’t want to tonight,” Richie murmured and nosed under his jaw. Eddie pouted and touched Richie’s chest.</p><p>“I said for the moment. I want more now. Please…Richie, take me to bed,” he requested softly. </p><p>     Richie closed his mouth over Eddie’s lobe, and that was the last straw. He moaned at the heat and wetness around his ear, and allowed himself to rock his hips forward after restraining himself for so long. Apparently that was all he needed to do because he was suddenly being lifted off the couch and carried up the stairs. He gripped Richie’s body tightly with his thighs, and couldn’t help but giggle a little as Richie nearly ran up the steps. They pushed the door open with Eddie’s back, and Richie immediately tackled him to the bed. Eddie couldn’t stop smiling as Richie kissed up and down his neck and did as he asked. He eyed the open door and tapped Richie’s shoulders.</p><p>“Richie, the door. You need to close it,” he told him. </p><p>     He groaned in frustration and crawled off the bed to shut it and lock it. Chills ran down Eddie’s back when he did so, but was immediately distracted when Richie returned their lips together. He accepted his kisses excitedly, and ran his fingers through Richie’s dense curly hair. Richie moaned in approval and held his face while stroking his cheeks with his thumbs. Eddie hummed happily, and moved them so he was laying between Richie’s legs and pulling at his shirt.</p><p>“Baby…<em>fuck</em>,” Richie panted as Eddie’s hands returned under his shirt and his hips moved against his.</p><p>“I want to be naked with you. Is that okay?” Eddie asked as he bunched Richie’s shirt under his armpits. Richie felt himself get harder at Eddie’s request, and instantly sat up to rid himself of his shirt. He then pulled up Eddie’s shirt too, and flung it across the room before pulling him back into his lap.</p><p>“Anything you want, I’m gonna want it too. I want everything with you. You’re so gorgeous,” Richie said. Eddie whimpered at that and shyly looked away.</p><p>“Gorgeous is…a bit much,” he murmured. Richie shook his head and ran his fingers all over Eddie’s bare skin.</p><p>“No…it’s not enough. I love you, Eds. I want you so bad,” Richie rambled breathlessly as their bodies automatically started moving against each other. Eddie moaned at the friction and reached for the empty belt loops around Richie’s jeans.</p><p>“Naked…I want it. I know enough about sex to know that we should be naked, Richie,” Eddie reminded him stubbornly. Richie chuckled at that and kissed him.</p><p>“My love, there’s nothing more that I’d like to do than get you naked right now,” Richie cooed. Eddie felt hot hearing him speak so seductively, and especially loved that it was in English. His voice just sounded so much hotter in his native tongue, and the way he looked saying it was so addicting.</p><p>“Then take my clothes off,” Eddie demanded impatiently. Richie bit his lip and popped the button to Eddie’s pants, causing him the gasp in surprise. He kissed his neck again as he slowly undid his zipper, and Eddie groaned in frustration when Richie reached past the thick fabric of his pants. “No, Richie, take them /off/,” he said pulling on his wrist to take his hand out.</p><p>“Half the fun is going slow, baby,” Richie replied and instead reached around to cup his ass under his pants. Eddie pouted and undid Richie’s jeans.</p><p>“Naked. Now,” he insisted. Richie couldn’t be mad or annoyed. Not when Eddie looked so damn adorable telling him what to do. He finally rolled them over and started pulling Eddie’s pants down his legs. </p><p>     Eddie gasped again at the change of position, and shivered as Richie kissed down his legs and then stopped to peel off his socks. He then reached for Eddie’s underwear and paused to make sure it was okay to continue. When he looked up he was met with wide curious eyes, and then slowly pulled the elastic down over his hips. His eyes darting all over the place before he eventually covered them with his forearm. Richie was about to stop, but Eddie merely shook his head.</p><p>“Keep going. Just…please be naked too when I open my eyes again,” he requested shyly.</p><p>“Of course,” Richie replied and kissed his hip bone. </p><p>     Eddie shivered again, and Richie finished pulling off the last piece of clothing from his body. He was about to start on his own clothes, but he got distracted looking down at Eddie completely bare underneath him. His skin that felt so soft and supple looked even better uninterrupted. He could clearly see all the faded and new hickeys he had left under Eddie’s collar, and the way he trembled in anticipation was just too damn good. Eddie moved his arm to cover his eyes with both his hands, and Richie felt his heart flutter from how cute he looked. He finally got with the program and removed his own clothes in a flash.</p><p>“Okay, baby. I got ya…” Richie murmured before gently taking his wrists and pulling them back. His face was bright red, and his eyes were stuck on the ceiling. “Hey…you okay, Eds?” Richie cooed. Eddie sniffled and Richie spotted a tear rolling down.</p><p>“I just…the self talk is really hard right now,” he murmured. Richie nodded and held his face.</p><p>“Can you look at me? Just my face, okay?” Richie prompted. Eddie’s eyes flicked to his for a brief second before he merely turned his head and pressed his cheek into Richie’s palm. It was wet from the tears.</p><p>“‘M sorry…<span class="u">I can’t stop thinking…I feel dirty</span>,” Eddie confessed. Richie’s brows knit and he moved himself out from between Eddie’s legs.</p><p>“Hey, it’s okay. You’re not dirty. That’s the last thing I’d call you. You’re so sweet, Eddie. So amazing. We just want to be close,” Richie said talking him through it. Eddie sniffled and glanced at him again.</p><p>“It’s…sin…”</p><p>“There’s a lot of things that are sins, but it’s okay because sins are meant to be forgiven. Eddie, you don’t need to ask for forgiveness for this. This is okay. <em>You’re </em>okay,” Richie continued. Eddie nodded and looked at him a little longer.</p><p>“It’s…natural,” he said. Richie nodded back and smiled.</p><p>“Exactly. It’s natural. You wouldn’t feel this guilt with a girl, right? That’s made up. <em>This</em> is natural. It’s real. It’s okay,” Richie cooed and leaned down to kiss Eddie’s forehead. The other man let out a stuttering breath and tilted his head up for Richie to kiss him on the lips.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” he murmured. Richie shook his head.</p><p>“It’s okay, baby. Don’t worry about it,” Richie assured him.</p><p>“I love you,” he sighed and wrapped his arms around Richie’s neck. Richie smiled in return and kissed him again.</p><p>“I love you too…”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. 026</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>     Once Eddie was able to calm down and feel better, it was fairly easy to pick up where they left off. The difficult part was Richie taking his time to double check and make sure Eddie wanted everything that was happening. Although, Eddie couldn’t lie he appreciated Richie’s constant checking in, and it made him feel safe through out the whole thing. It showed he had an option and that he was being taken care of. Of all the things Richie was good at, he was the best at making Eddie feel secure and loved.</p><p>“What do you want, baby? We can do anything you want, okay? Do you want to go slow?” Richie asked as he gently stroked Eddie’s arm. He could barely stop shaking just from that simple chaste touch, but it was mostly from how badly he wanted Richie. That and the room was freezing. Still, he nodded.</p><p>“You can touch me more,” Eddie murmured.</p><p>“Are you sure? You’re shaking,” Richie told him.</p><p>“‘M cold,” he supplied. Richie chuckled and pulled off the blanket from the foot of his bed. He unfolded it and placed it on top of them.</p><p>“How’s this? We’re a little bit more covered now,” he said. Eddie nodded and kissed Richie on the lips.</p><p>“Please touch me more,” he requested. Richie nodded and trailed his touch under the blanket. He ran his fingers over Eddie’s abdomen, and felt the skin shudder at his feather light touches. He then put a more dedicated touch to Eddie’s waist, and the man under him let out a soft noise when he moved down to squeeze his hip. “Richie…”</p><p>“You’re so sensitive, baby,” Richie cooed and moved to touch his thigh. Eddie pressed his lips together.</p><p>“Mmh…closer. Like the first time,” Eddie said running his own hands over Richie’s shoulders.</p><p>“The first time?” Richie asked. </p><p>     Eddie nodded and gently pushed Richie until he was settled between Eddie’s legs. Maybe the blanket really did help, because Eddie seemed a lot more comfortable with the sudden nakedness of their skin when they touched. He let his head fall back, and sighed as he touched down Richie’s arms. With his neck exposed Richie didn’t hesitate to lean down and kiss the bruised skin. Eddie sighed and dug his fingers into Richie’s dark messy curls.</p><p>“<span class="u">I love you. I love you, Richie. I love you. I can’t help it. It feels so good</span>,” Eddie whispered as Richie continued to kiss and touch him.</p><p>“I love you too. Fuck, I’m so glad you said it first. I didn’t want to upset you, but, dammit, I love you, Eds,” Richie rambled and pulled Eddie’s leg over his hip.</p><p>“<span class="u">I don’t ever want to let you go. I’ve never felt this way about a person before…about a <em>man</em> before</span>. Richie…ahh…” Eddie moaned as Richie took his dick in his hand.</p><p>“I got you, baby. Don’t worry. It’s okay,” Richie cooed and slowly stroked him. Eddie’s eyes rolled back, and he squeezed them shut as he moved his hips with Richie’s hand. It felt so good, and he felt so free as he let the pleasure wash over him.</p><p>“Ah…<span class="u">fuck…<em>fuck</em></span>, Richie…hmm…<span class="u">closer</span>,” Eddie whimpered. </p><p>     He held Richie tightly, and Richie kissed the skin he was being shoved into. Then Eddie wrapped his other leg around Richie’s waist, and pushed until their hips met. The contact was so warm and the weight of Richie’s body on top of him made Eddie feel whole for once. He gently pulled Richie’s arm out from between them, and fully urged the other man to move his hips with him. Richie did as Eddie lead him to, and kissed all up and down his neck. Eddie whimpered and moaned once their bodies found the perfect rhythm to wriggle and writhe against each other with. His fingers curling tighter into Richie’s hair, and fresh tears rolling down his face. Richie pulled back when he tasted the saltiness against his neck, and cupped his face to thumb the tears away.</p><p>“Eds…Eddie…look at me, baby,” Richie whispered. Eddie did so and blinked a couple more tears.</p><p>“<span class="u">I never thought I’d feel like this</span>,” Eddie gasped and moved his hands from Richie’s hair to his face. He pulled the other man down, and they kissed each other sweetly the way only lovers do. Richie groaned, and pressed their foreheads together. He could feel Eddie rubbing against his stomach, and he gave into his urge to reach back down and wrap his hand around both of them. “<em>Richie</em>—“</p><p>“I’m right here, baby. I got you. We’re still close,” Richie promised. </p><p>     Eddie pouted, but eventually his lips parted in way of the moans Richie’s hand unlocked. His body shaking with each up stroke, and his voice getting high pitched when Richie rubbed against his slit. It was erotic, and yet it was so sweet to watch him fall apart so openly and willingly for Richie to watch. Just thinking about how hard they’ve both worked to get to this point made Richie moan himself and burry his face in Eddie’s neck.</p><p>“I’m so proud of you. So fucking proud. You’ve worked so fucking hard since you got here, and I’m so glad I have you. You’re amazing, Eds. You’re so fucking amazing,” Richie rambled. Eddie’s moans only go higher and louder as Richie talked. He nuzzled against Richie’s hair, and that just made Richie melt.</p><p>“Richie…<span class="u">I don’t know what I’d do without you…I love you so much…I want you for the rest of my life. I love you</span>…” he muttered between the kisses he pressed to his head.</p><p>“I love you…I love you…”</p><p>     With a million “I love you”‘s on their lips, they reached their climax one after another. Eddie came first since he was still so sensitive, and Richie came shortly after from the satisfaction of bringing his lover a sense of euphoria he’s never experienced before. After that, Richie was quick to get up and wet a towel with warm water from his bathroom. When he returned Eddie was shivering with the untouched puddle of cum rolling towards his belly button. He quickly cleaned him up, and then used the clean side of the towel to wipe the sweat and spit from his face and neck. Eddie smiled a little as Richie did so, and Richie smiled back and kissed him on the nose.</p><p>“You’re incredibly cute,” Richie said before bouncing back to his bathroom door and tossing the towel in the general direction of the hamper. Eddie blushed, but did nothing to deny it this time. He liked that Richie found him cute. It was hard coming to terms with that. </p><p>     Richie then turned back to the bed, but stopped for a moment to stare at Eddie sprawled across the sheets still. He was still catching his breath a little, so his chest was moving with his lungs. His eyes looking right back at him, wide and waiting for Richie to return. The blanket covered his junk, but plenty of his skin was still on display and goosebumps were starting to roll up his arms. Richie’s only snap back to reality was Eddie moving to lay on his side and pushing himself up to see Richie more upright. He blinked at him, and then furrowed his brows with those big brown puppy dog eyes.</p><p>“Richie, please come back. I’m cold,” he asked. Richie would never get over how nice it felt to hear Eddie ask for him specifically. After being so vague and coy in the cell, there was nothing more satisfying to hear that Eddie really did want him. He nodded and stepped closer.</p><p>“That’s a crime. You should never be cold as long as I’m here to cuddle you back to life,” Richie said before crawling back into bed and kissing Eddie’s forehead. Eddie smiled and laid down with Richie. He snuggled up to him, and Richie wrapped his arm around Eddie’s body to pull him closer under the covers.</p><p>“Good. Maybe you’ll actually turn the fucking heater on,” Eddie hummed. Richie chuckled.</p><p>“You have this weird theory that I make the house freezing on purposes when, must I remind you, it’s been snowing all month,” Richie told him. Eddie merely shook his head and kissed Richie’s jaw.</p><p>“Excuses…” he sighed. Richie laughed a little louder at that and ran his fingers through Eddie’s hair. “…I think I want to tour that house again,” he murmured shyly. Richie’s fingers slowed and he took a moment to absorb what he said.</p><p>“…you mean…you mean the one in the suburbs we saw today?” He asked. Eddie nodded. “I thought you said…you wanted to stay with me.”</p><p>“I do!” Eddie clarified pushing himself up to look at Richie. His eyes wide and filled with eagerness. “I do, it’s just…she said it was a good house for a family, and…I meant it. When I said I want to start a family with you.”</p><p>     Their hands found each other, and Richie felt his lip quiver as he tried not to cry. He swallowed hard, and realized he ultimately failed at the not crying thing when he felt Eddie reach up and wipe a tear off his cheek. Richie then chuckled a little and smiled up at him.</p><p>“Yeah? You want to start a family?” He asked. Eddie frowned.</p><p>“With <em>you</em>, Richie. I want to start one with <em>you</em>, and…if what you’re all telling me is true, it’s legal to get married and adopt kids, then I <em>want</em> that with you,” Eddie insisted. Richie sniffled and cupped Eddie’s face.</p><p>“I didn’t think you’d want that…fuck…”</p><p>“Of course I do,” Eddie cooed and held Richie’s face to kiss him sweetly. “I want everything with you.” Richie smiled at that.</p><p>“Then we have a very important phone call to make in the morning.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Epilogue is next!!!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Epilogue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Short but sweet :)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>After I post this I’m posting a little additional story about the month leading up to their wedding! It’s going to be rated explicit and exploring themes of repressed sexuality and exploring new things as well as love and sacrifice &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>“Richie! Did you feed the dog this morning?” Eddie called from downstairs. He then turned back to his eleven month old child, Claire, and resumed feeding her breakfast.</p><p>“Not yet! Jack has been kinda—“ Richie’s voice was cut off by the sound of their toddler’s giggle followed by the sound of him running to the stairs. “Jackson! Get back here, buddy!”</p><p>     Eddie looked over in time to see Richie scoop Jackson off the stairs in only his sleep shirt and a brand new diaper. He smiled at them as Richie finished the flight of stairs and maneuvered Jack into a more comfortable position against his hip. Claire spit her banana out, and Eddie turned back to push the chewed food dribbling down her lips with the spoon back into her mouth. A pair of lips pressed against Eddie’s head, and he smiled up at his husband before he jumped into the kitchen.</p><p>“Are you hungry, little guy? Is that why you don’t wanna get dressed yet?” Richie sang to their son as he looked through the pantry.</p><p>“Appy!” Jackson said. Richie laughed and turned to the fridge to pull out a jar of apple sauce.</p><p>“You want some of uncle Ben’s applesauce? He made it just for you,” Richie said setting down the jar and pulling out a drawer for a spoon.</p><p>“Yummy!”</p><p>“Beverly texted saying she would be here soon. I need to dress Claire, and then she’s ready to go,” Eddie called as Richie struggled to open the jar with one hand.</p><p>“Gotcha! We’re having some breakfast difficulties here is all,” Richie replied. Eddie smiled and cooed at Claire one last time before quickly getting up to help open the jar and return to her. Before he could turn away, Richie pulled him closer around his waist and gave him a kiss on the lips. “Thanks, Babe.” Eddie rolled his eyes and returned to Claire with a blush on his cheeks.</p><p>“Just make sure he’s dressed by the time Bevvy gets here. I don’t want to make them wait much longer than they have to,” Eddie told him. He wiped Claire’s mouth, and then removed her bib. She reached up as Eddie slid his hands under her armpits and hauled her up against his shoulder.</p><p>“You should put her in that one dress Stan got for her,” Richie told him.</p><p>“The one that matches Jackson’s pants? His are in the wash,” Eddie replied walking back into the kitchen.</p><p>“Do they have to match? It’s cute by itself,” he pointed out. Eddie furrowed his brows.</p><p>“It’s so much cuter when they do match though. I refuse. She’s wearing her butterfly dress,” he replied stubbornly.</p><p>“Aw, c’mon Eds!” Richie whined.</p><p>“C’mon Eds!” Jackson repeated. Eddie sighed and pressed a kiss to Jackson’s blond bangs.</p><p>“I can never say no to you,” he said and then kissed Richie’s cheek. Richie gave a small victorious fist pump, and then high fived Jackson as Eddie carried Claire upstairs.</p><p>     Beverly and Ben arrived half an hour later with their own little one, Lily, strapped in a carrier. Their little girl was nearly eight months old, and Claire adored her the moment they met. Richie had managed to get Jackson into a nice pair of baby jeans and a teeshirt, but Eddie had to help wrestle him into a jacket. Claire was ready and dressed in the checkered dress Stan and Mike and Bill sent as an early one year birthday present. Beverly was happy to take her while Eddie fixed up Jackson, and then they were all out the door to go to the zoo. At least, Ben and Bev and the kids were. Richie and Eddie were scheduled for a long over due date while their friends watched the kids. It was a favor they intended to return once they expressed needing some time off themselves. They’ve had Jackson since he was six months old, so Ben and Bev were relatively new parents compared to them.</p><p>     After they finally fed the dog and she let herself out into the backyard through her doggy door, their date started in the bedroom. A couple hours of absolute bliss without worrying about the kids hearing or crying or walking in (in Jackson’s case…). Instead all they had to worry about was themselves and the love they had shared over the past five years. So far it has been great, and Eddie loved every second of it.</p><p>     After that they showered and then got dressed for lunch. They ate at a nearby restaurant in Seattle, and shared a bottle of wine as they reminisced over the past few years together. Ever since Eddie confessed they had been so honest and open with each other, and living together was as easy as breathing. Richie always brushed his fingers over Eddie’s wedding bands, and they took a moment to stare at the white gold together every time he did. Eddie sometimes got teary thinking about how he never thought it would be possible, but Richie always brought him back with a warm squeeze and a smile that reminded him that it was.</p><p>“How’s the new job going?” Richie asked as they looked through the dessert menu. Eddie hummed happily as the thought of his new position as a nurse practitioner at the local hospital.</p><p>“Very well. It’s better than being a full on doctor. Operating was starting to get a little too stressful, as you know, but…it’s nice being able to step back and let someone else take control,” Eddie replied.</p><p>     Richie smiled at that. He was a little apprehensive at first when Bill said Eddie could continue practicing medicine in America. A lot of his nightmares were linked to his job back in Paris, and sure enough it wasn’t easy being called Doctor Kaspbrak again. Thankfully, Bill was understanding and did some rearranging and now Eddie worked a stress free job that let him spend time with his family and relax. Considering Bill still wasn’t happy that Richie decided to retire, it was very nice of him to help Eddie get that job. Richie, on the other hand, was now happily tutoring and teaching a plethora of languages. Life now was like Paris never happened, and they never met in an underground prison, and they were just a normal family.</p><p>“That’s good. I’m glad you’re happy,” Richie said. Eddie looked up at him from the menu and smiled that little smile Richie had only seen emerge recently as their life started coming together.</p><p>“I’m always happy with you, Richie. You keep me alive,” he replied so easily. Richie couldn’t help but grin.</p><p>“Just like you keep me alive, baby.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you all so much for your lovely comments and kudos and support! Sorry it took a while to get this out, I’ve been working all week so I haven’t had time to post a lot. Thank you again I’ve loved reading all your comments so much. Very excited for you guys to read the additional story. I’ll be posting the first chapter after this goes up :0</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope u liked it. Lemme know below and keep in touch :0</p><p>I will update soon, but find me on insta: @gay_an_feral</p></blockquote></div></div>
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